posted on August 26, 2001 08:01:32 PM new
Microbes,
Do you know how many times I've heard that story about a child being slapped in WalMart? I would love to have a dollar for each time that case has surfaced in the past 20 years. Each time it was a different age and a different place slapped. Each time there were 5 witnesses and the cashier called the police. Each time the judge said "not guilty"
The point is they can call 911, they will come and take the child to foster care. They will not hold the child down to be beaten by the parent.
I'd love to know the name of your little town in Florida that just had that WalMart case happen. HRS is Health and Rehabilitation Services, not Human Services. The state of Florida stands by whatever HRS says and if HRS says the child was slapped, the child was slapped. One slap is not child abuse, however, especially to a teenager. However, the point of impact is important. Where was it? The mouth (in which case it would have split her lip most likely), the face? The behind? Sounds like someone at WalMart overreacted by calling the police to begin with.
I for one, from the stories you tell, would never want to live in your small town. Cops holding kids down for parents to beat them, principals paddling kids without calling the parents each time (wasn't that you posting that?), now a corrupt judge who goes against the system for what everyone considered child abuse, WalMart employees calling the cops for one slap to a teenager, mothers being hauled off to jail for no reason, kids put in foster care based on stupidity (IMO).
posted on August 27, 2001 12:43:35 AM new
I have only one child who will be 13 in a couple months. I understand it's much easier to raise 1 child that 3 or 4 children. However, I have only spanked my child about twice in his life. The last time was when he was about 9 years old, and it involved one firm swat on his behind. It was an attention getting mechanism for him. I was trying to talk to him and he wasn't paying attention.
I beleive that the parents, (in most cases) are the more intelligent of the parties involved. With this in mind, they should be able to EXPLAIN the unwanted behavior and what should replace it. When parents take their kids to the store, many parents scream at their kids once they get inside the store. I think they would find if they took a minute or two before going inside to EXPLAIN what would'nt be tolerated, things would be much better inside.
Raising children is a very tough job. It reguires a tremendous amount of work and the job changes daily. There is no right way of doing it. Every child is different. But when poor behavior is occouring, something is happening to that child that shouldn't be, OR something is NOT HAPPENING to that child that should be.
If the adult has to hit the child, the adult is a BULLY. If the adult is not able to convince the child into the adult's position, the adult is a IDIOT. The talking process starts at a very young age and lasts hopefully for most of the parent/child relationship. The hitting process starts at a very young age and will last long into the child's adulthood and most likely repeat itself into the next generation.
In reference to the 15 year old having to be held down for his punishment because he was bigger than his mother. This child has been on this earth for 15 years. That's 5,475 days. It seems to me the parents may have better used this time to teach this child to respect them. Just because a teenager is 15 and weighs, let's say, 175 pounds, doesn't mean he doesn't know kindness and respect. There are plenty of them who do, and plenty who don't. It's a matter of what they are taught and what is expected of them. It needs to be done EVERY DAY. Parents need to make decisions as to what is important to them. Their children, or other issues. Maybe if they did, the teachers wouldn't have to co-parent the children and teach them basic values and responibilities.
I have a very simple method of showing how children learn. It's as follows. A German child speaks German because he hears his parents speak it. A French child speaks French because he hears his parents speak it. The child speak the lanugage of the household. They learn what they are taught.
Spend time with your child. It's an investment with a very high return.
edited for spelling and additions!
[ edited by yeager on Aug 27, 2001 12:59 AM ]
Each time it was a different age and a different place slapped. Each time there were 5 witnesses and the cashier called the police. Each time the judge said "not guilty"