posted on October 27, 2001 02:00:29 PM new
Stockticker, I certainly understand. In high school I was the only female in my calculus class and one of three in physics. It wasn't that much different in college. I guess I learned that I had to hold my own. Many people on this board can run circles around me when it comes to politics and any number of other issues, but I not afraid of stating my opinion.
I noticed an odd dynamic at work on one of my jobs. I did field work for the local Extension Service. My cohorts were mainly men and a few women. The women's demeanors changed when the men were present. And I don't think it was for the better. They were pettier.
posted on October 27, 2001 02:05:08 PM new
Can Self Moderation Work? Sure for those who just want to communicate and visit with one another. Or for those who share the same opinions. But do I think it will work after 11-1? NO. If there were no need for moderators, they wouldn't have ever needed to come in and remind us of the CG. Without them....no way.
When the AW RT was first opened as a forum, the line was (and still is) "A place to kick back, relax, and have fun! Share a story, tell a joke, write a poem, make a friend..." There were those who have used this forum as such. Then there are those who can't just avoid the fluff threads they don't like, but rather feel a need to jump in and ridicule.
The thread(s) that were the exception were the WSUTL threads. I always felt it was wonderful those who posted regularly did so in relative peace. Kind of like they could visit in their own cocoon.
When people state that they see some posters in different ways than others do, it's my view there are many reasons for that. One is that they share the same views/opinions. They only post friendly hellos. They share admirations for each other. And they have never felt the sting of a rude remark or a sarcastic statement when they've shared their opinions. Like you said, Femme, how you felt when you posted on that ebay chat board. That feeling others have felt several times when they just share their opinions. I see a lot of posters who don't share their own opinions on the 'hot topics' so they say nothing to piss anyone off. It's different if the topic is being disagreed with, but the personal insults, sarcasm are what have caused the moderators to come in and moderate.
posted on October 27, 2001 02:15:30 PM new
LindaK ~ "Then there are those who can't just avoid the fluff threads they don't like, but rather feel a need to jump in and ridicule." I have seen this go both ways. Many times people who like fluff the best go into a political or other thread and ridicule. Fluffy people are no different than non-fluffy in that regard. But why do we have to put people into those groups atall? There are times I like a fluff thread and times I can do without. Same for the other types of threads. I do not like being catagorized based on fluff or non. Seems so silly.
To me, the non-fluff threads are fun and relaxing . I believe all types of people can have all types of fun and conversation in the RT and have been doing so for some time now.
No one has to enter or read or post in a thread they have no interest in.
I might add that some of the funniest things ever said here have been said in the non-fluff threads.
posted on October 27, 2001 02:20:02 PM new
Putting on asbestos suit...........
This going in a mass to the women's rest room also known as the ladies information center is a middle class thing like the men riding in the front seat of the car and pot luck dinners. Might as well throw in bowling and running the kids all over kingdom come to a hundred "activities".
posted on October 27, 2001 02:33:06 PM new
Robin - I can't see a thing you've said that I don't agree with. It does work both ways, therefore the previously needed moderation.
posted on October 27, 2001 02:41:58 PM new
Perhaps I have been unclear about what KRS defines as "fluff". It was my impression that it was anything considered friendly chit chat that isn't politically oriented.
I like some serious topics as well as general chit-chat and "fluff" seems like an ugly idea to me altogether. Different people enjoy different things and some of each at times. It seems to me like those who (also) enjoy general social interaction rather than impersonal heated political debate are being given a kick with that term.
Especially since, as point out, that is really how this forum was labeled by the powers that be in the beginning.
JHO
So how do you define "fluff"?
Would it perhaps be the opposite of "acid"?
Create an agreed upon dictionary meaning with synonyms and antonyms for me and I will shut up.
posted on October 27, 2001 02:42:55 PM new
Well....I don't need for anyone to help me pee...and I can do it all by myself. When I've been asked to 'join' someone (or several) on their trip, I politely decline.
gravid, Yes, I've seen that many times. We have one set of friends where the woman always insists that my husband sit up front with her husband and we sit in the back together when we go on long drives. My husbands reply has always been, "I want to sit with my honey".
We've never identified with that gender 'separation' in order to visit with others. But when we've watched other couples, it does seem like the 'party' divides itself into the gentlemen who want to discuss shared issues, and the women who want to share 'women' issues.
posted on October 27, 2001 02:59:49 PM new
LindaK, I'm not sure if I agree with you on your one post. I've had posters disagree, ignore, call me names, etc., but I can still respect that poster, listen to their views and still like them. Actually, having people agree with you all the time makes for a pretty short discussion. Take you....I don't agree with you on some things, but I sure respect the fact you have opinions that you're willing to share.
If you look at the way things have been in the past 6 months say, we've been moderated very little and the times we were, were semi-petty, don't you think? I think we'll be fine.
posted on October 27, 2001 02:59:50 PM new
Hi, Linda_K. When I was younger, I used to see more of that gender separation. It used to irritate me then. Now I can't remember the last time that has happened - it's been so long. Usually everyone gets involved in heated discussions on just about any topic. The usual group is a good mixture of young, old, gay, straight, male, and female. We have a few conservatives but mainly liberals.
posted on October 27, 2001 03:08:02 PM new
jt, when I wrote for the paper, we defined fluff piece as anything frivolous, not serious, or light - a space filler.
posted on October 27, 2001 03:13:15 PM new
No. I don't take your religious threads as fluff. And I bet you don't either. You're interested in serious responses. If I said "What's the funniest thing that ever happened to you in church?" that might elicit another less serious response.
ed. for spelling
[ edited by saabsister on Oct 27, 2001 03:51 PM ]
posted on October 27, 2001 03:20:46 PM new
It has nothing to do with religious threads saab. I just get tired people getting the nasty treatment for saying "Hello, how are you today? How's the weather there?" There is nothing wrong with that. It's a GOOD thing.
I am in a general bad mood, btw.
I will go do something else.
general bad mood
I said why a few pages back but then I felt compelled to delete it because it was too "fluffy" and it might annoy KRS.
[ edited by jt on Oct 27, 2001 03:23 PM ]
posted on October 27, 2001 03:29:32 PM new
jt, I don't think there's anything wrong with asking those questions. Maybe the irritation comes when people derail threads . I don't think many people mind a quick "How are you doing?" but there are some posters here who don't like heated discussions and feel obligated to jump in and derail threads that others are enjoying. Maybe that's the objection.
posted on October 27, 2001 03:46:09 PM new
If we are looking at language, the statement reads fluffy idiocy, not fluff. I see the meaning of the terms as being quite different. Everyone here participates to a certain extent in fluff threads, so I don't know what the big deal is anyway.
posted on October 27, 2001 03:50:17 PM new
(Sorry a phone call came in)
Kraftdinner - I didn't intend for my post to sound like I expected, in any way, others to agree with me or anyone. Yes, hearing all different points of views always make for stimulating conversation. The point I'm making is that different opinions/views can be shared without resorting to any insults or sarcasm. It can be done. Like you and saabsister seem to be able to do when posting.
I haven't seen anyone posting repeated stinging remarks to you. I haven't seen where everytime you say anything you have the same posters are on your case, not just disagreeing. Maybe this is a case of 'walking in someone elses shoes'. I'm sure you've seen what I've mentioned happening here between others. I know some think it's funny when it's at anothers expense. I was just raised that one can be civil even in disagreement. You surely have read others sharing seeing this issue the same way I do.
And there have been at least three chat sites that were formed from/with exposters of AW, who tried the self moderation concept. They didn't work. I hope this one does, but the odds are against it.
I remember reading when a whole group left, "Watch...soon they will turn on each other". And that came to pass.
saabsister - We're retired and our circle of friends is not very diversified at this point, I'll admit. It's my opinion that one doesn't have to be in a diversified enviornment. One can read newspapers online for the whole day, if one chooses, or come to a place like AW RT to see and learn where other's are coming from. (To see how other people think and feel._
Until we retired here we were in a very diversified enviornment and felt like we lived in a foreign land. Hense part of our decision to move to a more conservative area. We are all conservatives and none of us are gay, or liberals. We do have children who are the approx age of the average poster here ( 30-35), who we very much enjoy being 'enlightened' by.
posted on October 27, 2001 04:44:29 PM new
If you are speaking to me, I said in our circle of friends.
I've know them all for almost 28 years. They have all been married for 31 years or more (one just celebrated their 45th), are all retired and if they are gay....they've done a darn good job of hiding it from us.
posted on October 27, 2001 05:25:46 PM new
Everyone has their own definition of fluff.
As the one who supposedly coined the word in the RT, my definition of it would be as SS said, frivolous, which is what I was thinking when I first used the term.
Exchanging niceties in a thread would hardly be considered frivolous.
Perhaps we should use the term frivolous from this point on. Everyone should have a clear definition of that term.
So I guess one is to assume it's a vague term used as a derogatory remark whenever certain posters see fit to strike an ugly blow.
Personally, I resent that assumption.
When I first used it, it was without malice.
Trust me, Maui and friends got a lot of sarcastic mileage out of the term. It ticked me off, but I kept my mouth shut.
For those who remember, it was a very personal, serious thread when I used the term.
Unfortunately, some people only concentrated on one sentence in a lengthy post.
posted on October 27, 2001 08:15:00 PM newTrust me, Maui and friends got a lot of sarcastic mileage out of the term. It ticked me off, but I kept my mouth shut.
Seems to me I remember you are one of the people who have a hard time sitting on your hands and MUST comment from time to time. For what its worth, I HATED the term FLUFFY. I didnt label myself that, YOU did. I hated it then and I hate it now. Anything fun, anything lighthearted, anything silly YOU called fluffy. And no, "Maui and friends didnt get alot of sarcastic mileage out it". I hated what it represented because it isnt who I am. YOU saw to name me something and it stuck. Thankseversomuch. Maybe someday I can return the favor.
I make a point to ignore you. I wish you would do the same for me.
[ edited by hepburn on Oct 27, 2001 08:15 PM ]
posted on October 27, 2001 08:26:19 PM new
Fluff is in the eye of the beholder. If you think a thread is fluff you can go down the list and click on something else.
I do have to say that I have been here awhile and upset one person enough for them to send someone around to investigate me in "RL' and yet I have never been warned by a moderator.
Maybe because I have never gotten any joy out of upsetting anyone on purpose. It is entirely too easy to do it just inadvertently.
