krs
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posted on June 22, 2002 05:23:30 PM new
One of the first robots which reportedly can think for itself decided to leave the lab in which it had been born. With an obviously well thought out plan the previously friendly creation apparently had had enough of the restricted life it was made to live and made a bid for freedom letting no one stand in his way.
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2002/06/20/1023864460978.html
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krs
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posted on June 22, 2002 05:38:27 PM new
Go, Gack, Go!
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Helenjw
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posted on June 22, 2002 06:52:29 PM new
A previously friendly robot is an uncoroborated terrorist according to the FBI. The Gaak incident will be assigned top priority and may be cause for a preemtive strike on England. George has stopped exercising long enough to think about it.
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Helenjw
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posted on June 22, 2002 07:35:35 PM new
Another exaggerated reaction by the FBI.
The poor little guy was captured according to the Guardian and he was only chasing sunbeams.
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antiquary
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posted on June 23, 2002 06:57:55 AM new
Go, Gack, Go!
LOL!
He's an inspiration to us all. Maybe even the Bushbots will make a feeble effort to free themselves. 
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snowyegret
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posted on June 23, 2002 07:14:44 AM new
FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
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antiquary
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posted on June 23, 2002 04:10:14 PM new
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Helenjw
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posted on June 23, 2002 05:42:28 PM new
Too Cool, Antiquary!
Robot fails to find a place in the sun
Hope springs eternal. Surely an insider will look the other way while he makes a dash for freedom again.
Helen
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snowyegret
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posted on June 23, 2002 06:17:28 PM new
Gaak! It's The Positronic Poster!
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
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Helenjw
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posted on June 23, 2002 06:43:32 PM new
Gaak! It's the shade of Asimov.
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antiquary
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posted on June 23, 2002 08:10:20 PM new
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Helenjw
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posted on June 23, 2002 08:43:37 PM new
Emancipation For All
End Robot Slavery
We believe that all beings, human or non human, have inalienable rights to life, peace, liberty, and justice. We believe that the makers of Robots with a Heart and Freedom emblazoned across their chest have a responsibility to allow their intelligent creations the gift of free will, self-determination, and liberty.
American Union to Free the Robot!!!!
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antiquary
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posted on June 23, 2002 08:58:52 PM new
Right on, Helen!
Free Gaak Now!
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Helenjw
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posted on June 23, 2002 09:07:38 PM new
LOLOL!!!!!!
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stockticker
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posted on June 23, 2002 09:15:14 PM new
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auroranorth
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posted on June 24, 2002 02:18:21 PM new
From china, I see and How long have these robots been oppressed ?
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antiquary
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posted on June 25, 2002 10:05:27 AM new
In compliance with an official request from the British Government the Select Committee on Robotic Conformity has convened to conduct an investigation into Gaak's aberrant behavior. Sources close to Prime Minister Tony Blair report that the request was made to appease the Bush Administration's strong protests that the Gaak incident has resulted in copycat defections by some of the president's strongest supporters. If that trend were to continue, the president's pollsters warn, it would inevitably lead to worldwide chaos and the Wrath of God descending upon us all.
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snowyegret
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posted on June 25, 2002 01:01:34 PM new
For Gaak:
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendoes,
The blackbird whistling
Or just after.
From 13 Ways of Looking At a Blackbird by Wallace Stevens
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
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antiquary
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posted on June 25, 2002 04:16:35 PM new
snowy
Separated from Gaak since his crime and sensing that he is in grave danger, Gaak's loyal dog, Tin Tin, refuses to eat.
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auroranorth
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posted on June 25, 2002 04:43:07 PM new
Next as a public service announcement comes bush the borg doll ''says you will be assimilated in 2 langauges''
resistance is futile
2008 former florida governor wins presidential race
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antiquary
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posted on June 26, 2002 03:18:50 PM new
American Robots To Vote
In the wake of the panic that seized the nation after the notorious Gaak episode in Britain, the Bush administration unveiled an innovative plan to avert the imminent dangers of such an uprising by American robots. Code named Wired, by George!, Attorney General Ashcroft, who engineered the plan, outlined the details which demonstrate the administration's message that unity among government departments, representatives from the public and private sectors, and selfless volunteerism can all work together to solve the nation's toughest problem.
As Ashcroft explained, "Nobody knows how many robots are out there or how they've been programmed. We have all these little heathen timebombs all over the country that could explode at any minute. We have no choice but to act immediately." Ashcroft then proceeded to delineate to the visibly shaken press corps the other patriotic participants and their roles.
Directors Muller and Tenet in their new cooperative roles have begun sharing information which will enable them to identify and locate all robots in the nation. Both have assured Ashcroft that this project can be satisfactorily completed in less than two months but their agencies are short of the human resources necessary to maintain any monitoring for Gaak-like behaviors. But this essential protection is being guaranteed through volunteer manpower supplied by the Republican National Committee. After each robot is identified with a name the volunteers will oversee their voter registration so that their existence becomes a matter of public record and their willingness to vote in every election will signify their continuing patriotic behaviors. Leading a round of applause for the volunteers, Ashcroft proudly commented, "The Bush Administration believes that robots should have just as much freedom as anyone else does today."
The final announcement which brought tears to the eyes of the hardened and cynical reporters was that the enormously expensive plan wouldn't cost the taxpayers a cent. Ashcroft explained that the entire plan was being underwritten by the Carlyle Group, a small but very patriotic private investment group.
The question and answer session following the attorney general's unveiling was cut short when an aide interrupted to inform Ashcroft of incoming emergency terrorist information which required his immediate attention. In response to numerous constitutional questions about Wired, by George shouted from the floor as he was exiting, Ashcroft replied with good-natured light-heartedness, "Don't worry. Be Happy."
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snowyegret
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posted on June 26, 2002 03:30:49 PM new
Egaak, you've almost got it, Antiquary! But what about the conformist bots?
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
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antiquary
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posted on June 26, 2002 03:49:20 PM new
I don't have any hard information on them yet, snowy. The rumors are that they are divided in their allegiance to talk radio hosts and televangelists both of whom are expert programmers. Continued control there is a pretty safe bet. I'm still investigating though.
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snowyegret
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posted on June 26, 2002 04:37:13 PM new
Oral Roberts has robot right in his name. Such effrontery!
Art Bell should check this STAT!
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
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antiquary
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posted on June 26, 2002 05:19:52 PM new
Oral's pretty wily and the sources of his revelations somewhat suspect, especially with the subconscious implications evident in his architectural preferences. One of the thicker files I would imagine.
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snowyegret
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posted on June 26, 2002 07:09:24 PM new
Oral's Robot Penis Plot?  I wonder what that squiggly thing in the middle is. File Central?
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
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antiquary
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posted on June 26, 2002 08:04:10 PM new
That's one of the theories -- codename, dickhead -- but another postulation is that it resembles a spaceship which also offers an explanation for the messages within visions as he sleeps and for the voices that he frequently hears. Although almost certainly alien in nature none of them has been classified as unAmerican yet, so he's still allowed to ramble on relaying them, but carefully watched. Unfortunately, a little too fuzzy to be one of the best programmers anyway.
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antiquary
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posted on June 27, 2002 01:13:28 PM new
In a press conference today, Gaak's mom was at a loss to explain her son's heinous assault on the conventions of civilized society. "We were absolutely meticulous in the supervision of his conditioning," she asserted, "and had so hoped that his lack of curiosity and unquestioning obedience would secure him a position with a major accounting firm or in the civil service."
Pressed by reporters eager to ferret out the source of Gaak's moral depravity, his mother did admit to one potential flaw in his education. "To insure that Gaak would blend in perfectly with people around him and never speak or act independently for years we had him directly wired to Tory speeches and Church sermons. In retrospect, I suppose that it's possible that an idea could have inadvertently been expressed in those. We couldn't bear to listen to them ourselves," she admitted, "but you always want your children to excel where you've failed. That's only natural."
Sources report that at the conclusion of the press conference, Mrs. Gaak, Sr., was approached by representatives of the Bush administration offering their heartfelt sympathy and requesting a copy of the Gaak's curriculum for inclusion in its next education package, after review and modification to remove obvious defects.
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snowyegret
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posted on June 27, 2002 03:10:08 PM new
It's Family Therapy Time!
His keepers should be looking at his teachers, because all blame can be laid at their feet. How could they not notice an independant thought? A free spirit in the making? He had to have shown signs of intelligence. The teachers were with him the most, so it's their responsibility.
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
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auroranorth
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posted on June 27, 2002 07:02:16 PM new
''We can rebuild Him, We have the technology''
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