posted on July 27, 2004 08:07:58 PM new
I thought we could all use a little humour.
Miss Dianna’s 6th grade class is assembled in her classroom and waiting for class to start. Some of the children are sitting
quietly and some are talking in small groups.
All of a sudden the door swings open and in walks Principal Helenjw with a strange man following behind. The students instantly stop talking and doing whatever they were doing and they look stunned to see Principal Helenjw and some think that they did something wrong. All the kids are afraid of Principal Helenjw because she is a large woman with a loud booming voice and she has a moustasche.
Principal Helenjw announces that Miss Dianna is out sick and here is a subsitute teacher to take her place and then she leaves the
classroom.
The teacher introduces himself to the class as Mr. Yellowstone and all of the students reply with a resonant but reluctant
sounding hello Mr Yellowstone, not knowing exactly what to expect from this new teacher.
After rollcall to see who is in attendance and who is out Mr Yellowstone tells the kids to put away their books and pencils.
We are going to play a fun game today. Every student will come up to the blackboard and draw something on it and by the time we get
to the last student, we will have a nice picture.
Ok, so who’s first?? A few hands are raised and Mr Yellowstone sees that these few are clearly the leaders of the class. So he
picks one, a smart looking girl with a pony tail and glasses that seem to be too big for her little face. She walks up and says; my
name is Linda_K and she draws on the blackboard and says; this is a mountain.
Very nice Linda_K, ok who’s next?? This time alot more hands are raised and the teacher picks a kid that while walking up he just
cannot figure out if this is a girl or a boy. The kid says my name is Crowfarm, and the teacher still can’t tell from the name
as to the gender of this kid but oh well kids are kids and what does it really matter. So this kid draws on the blackboard and says; this is snow on the mountain.
That’s very nice Crowfarm. At this point hands are raised and waving and some kids are saying ohh, ohh, pick me, pick me. They
are really liking this fun game and everyone seems to have something to add. Teacher Yellowstone knows that he should allow
some of the boys in the class to contribute and he notices one kid sitting in the back who does have his hand raised but he isn’t waving it around and it isn’t raised too high. So he picks him and up stands this kid wearing blue jeans, a white tee-shirt with a pair of sunglasses hanging from his collar, black biker boots, a leather jacket and it seems as if he can see a pack of cigarettes in his coat pocket. This is a tough looking kid. The kid walks up and says; yo teach I’m Twelvepole. He draws on the blackboard and says; this is the sun coming up over the mountain.
Mr. Yellowstone is releaved that Twelvpole, this tough looking kid added something nice and thanked him for it. Once again hands are raised and the teacher picks another boy. This boy stands up and he has a buzz cut and he is kinda stockey looking with a slightly chubby face and freckles. As he is walking up, Yellowstone thinks this kid might make a good Marine someday. The kid says my name is Bear1949 and he draws on the board and says;
this is a road going up the mountain.
The teacher thanks him for his contribution and again hands are raised and waving and students are almost in a frenzy to be picked. The teacher this time picks another girl and she stands up, a thin girl with curly brown hair and a pretty blue dress on.
She says my name is Kraftdinner and she adds her contribution to the drawing and she says; this is a car going up the road up the
mountain.
Well thank you Kraftdinner I think this drawing of ours is coming along right nicely. Again hands are raised and the teacher picks another girl. A tall lanky girl with red hair, freckles, braces
on her teeth and wearing a pretty pink dress. She introduces herself as Maggiemuggins and says; we just moved here from Canada and she smiles at the teacher. At this point no one would have thunk that inside this innocent looking redhaired girl lurks the mind of a real smartass as she walks up to the blackboard and draws on it and says; This is my dad bending over in the shower picking up a bar of soap.
posted on July 27, 2004 08:38:41 PM new
God, Yellow. Are you in junior high? UNbelievable infantile humor here.
[ edited by SuzyQ37 on Jul 27, 2004 08:39 PM ]
posted on July 27, 2004 09:19:57 PM new
Yellow.. I would like to think that if my Dad were living.. that he would have found your joke funny.. I think he may have.. but he died when I was 13 so I am not sure.. I didn't get to know him as well as most get to know their fathers.. mm
posted on July 28, 2004 06:29:30 AM new
Yellowstone you forgot the picture where you are in front of the guy "bending over in the shower" to pick up the soap.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
All Things Just Keep Getting Better
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
posted on July 28, 2004 11:15:31 AM new Yellowstone you forgot the picture where you are in front of the guy "bending over in the shower" to pick up the soap.
Insert Logansdad's photo here
"The natural family is a man and woman bound in a lifelong covenant of marriage for the purposes of:
*the continuation of the human species,
*the rearing of children,
*the regulation of sexuality,
*the provision of mutual support and protection,
*the creation of an altruistic domestic economy, and
*the maintenance of bonds between the generations."
[ edited by Bear1949 on Jul 28, 2004 11:18 AM ]
posted on July 28, 2004 12:17:22 PM new
This works on so many levels. An analogy to how the threads here get side tracked. How some people destroy a post just to be vulgar. The depiction of the different personalities. Plus there's, well, you've all got the picture. As the Rev would tell 'em, "God loves you...."
posted on July 28, 2004 12:22:04 PM new
Hey Bear can you explain how you mother gave birth to you since there are rumors she was a hermaphrodite.
Did she self impreganate herself?
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
All Things Just Keep Getting Better
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
[ edited by logansdad on Jul 28, 2004 12:39 PM ]
posted on July 28, 2004 12:43:21 PM new
News Flash Bear: Kerry could care less about the Mounties since they are in Canada. The last time I looked Canada was not part of the United States.
Oh and the Mounties are more of a soldier than you ever were.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
All Things Just Keep Getting Better
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
posted on July 28, 2004 12:46:35 PM new
Parklane says:This works on so many levels. An analogy to how the threads here get side tracked. How some people destroy a post just to be vulgar..
And.. the post wasn't vulgar to begin with?
Would you like your father depicted in this manner? As I said, I lost my father at 13 years of age.. but I still have love for him.. I think this was just plain nasty and hurtful. But you would like to see this post continue on to hurt and ridicule myself and my fathers memory.. MM
posted on July 28, 2004 04:56:51 PM new
Maggie
You said in your first post; Yellow.. I would like to think that if my Dad were living.. that he would have found your joke funny.. I think he may have
I thought with this post that you got it, that it was meant as nothing but humour. Then in your next post it seems as if you have changed your mind.
I did not know that you lost your Father when you were 13 and you have my sincere sympathy. I wish you had been able to know your Father better.
I only included you because I didn't want you to feel left out.
posted on July 28, 2004 05:05:53 PM new
Where the sun is coming up over the mountain is where Logansdad's picture should be inserted. We all know that he was a buttbirth baby. Kinda explains his lifestyle, doesn't it??
posted on July 28, 2004 06:26:59 PM new
Struck too close to home for you there did I dad, But you're the resident expert on being "Mounted".
At least I know my mother and father, unlike you, the product of a mutant invetro experiment brought to term in a transsexual ankle humping gerbel.
"The natural family is a man and woman bound in a lifelong covenant of marriage for the purposes of:
*the continuation of the human species,
*the rearing of children,
*the regulation of sexuality,
*the provision of mutual support and protection,
*the creation of an altruistic domestic economy, and
*the maintenance of bonds between the generations."
posted on July 28, 2004 07:46:22 PM new
Struck too close to home for you there did I dad, But you're the resident expert on being "Mounted".
At least I know my mother and father, unlike you, the product of a mutant invetro experiment brought to term in a transsexual ankle humping gerbel.
Keep up the insults Bear. I have a lot more I can throw your way. You seem to think it is funny turning every post into an insult regarding my sexuality. If you want to keep playing this game, go right ahead. You will be the one that looses in the long run, not me sunny boy.
Now stop being mad because your mom has a bigger piece of manhood than both you and your dad put together.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
All Things Just Keep Getting Better
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
posted on July 28, 2004 08:15:04 PM newKeep up the insults Bear. I have a lot more I can throw your way.
The problem with your insults Logansdad is that they lack any sort of substance, it seems as if you are just pulling them out of your ass and not putting any real thought into them.
In all fairness though I gotta hand it to you for leaving home when you did. Afterall, you really didn't like the way you were being reared. I just have one last ? for you. Is your real name in rl Phil McCrevis??
posted on July 28, 2004 09:01:23 PM new
Yellowstone, your mom is so fat, she had to be baptised at Sea World. Your mom's so old, she owes Jesus money. Your mom is so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway. Your mom's so stupid, she sold her car for gas money. Your mom's so fat that every time she wears high heels she strikes oil.
posted on July 28, 2004 09:15:51 PM new I thought you were a Christian, Bear
I am, that's why I tempered by comment to dad with kinndness.
Dad you were the one to turn the thread into a fag topic with your comment of: Yellowstone you forgot the picture where you are in front of the guy "bending over in the shower" to pick up the soap.
If you are so offened Dad of come backs to the line you started, it is suggested you stop indicating your preference
BTY, are you still punking your son & all the neighborhood boys under the age of sixteen? You've got to be Michael Jackson's idol.
"The natural family is a man and woman bound in a lifelong covenant of marriage for the purposes of:
*the continuation of the human species,
*the rearing of children,
*the regulation of sexuality,
*the provision of mutual support and protection,
*the creation of an altruistic domestic economy, and
*the maintenance of bonds between the generations."
posted on July 28, 2004 09:39:24 PM new
Kraftdinner
That was so funny I had to google it. Here's a few that I found that I thought were funny. BTW, there are hundreds of 'em out there. Your Mom's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone
book!
Your Mom's so fat the only time she saw 90210 is when she stepped on the scale.
Your mom's so ugly she went into a Haunted House and came out with a job application
Your Mom is so fat when she plays hop scotch she goes B.C, Edmonton,Toronto, Qubec.......
Your Mom's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Your Mom's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
Your Mom's so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Your Mom's so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
If you're gonna use big words bear, at least learn to spell them. Oh, and kindness doesn't have three n's.
___________________________________
Beware the man of one book.
- Thomas Aquinas
[ edited by profe51 on Jul 29, 2004 05:32 AM ]
posted on July 29, 2004 06:58:53 AM new
Yellow: The problem with your insults Logansdad is that they lack any sort of substance, it seems as if you are just pulling them out of your ass and not putting any real thought into them.
Yeah lets talk about substance. I attack Bush in a previous thread and you come back by posting a picture attacking my sexuality. Where the substance there? Keep it up I can play your games as well. Another rightie with an intelligence level of a second grader.
Is your real name in rl Phil McCrevis??
C'mon I have heard that one along time ago. You are going to have to do a lot better than that. Did a second grader teach you that one or did you pick it up from watching the Simpsons? OK Moe is your real name Mike Hunt or Hugh ASS. Na, it is really HOMER SEXUAL.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
All Things Just Keep Getting Better
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
posted on July 29, 2004 11:28:45 AM new In vitro I chose tp spell to that way Prof, it wasn't an error.
"The natural family is a man and woman bound in a lifelong covenant of marriage for the purposes of:
*the continuation of the human species,
*the rearing of children,
*the regulation of sexuality,
*the provision of mutual support and protection,
*the creation of an altruistic domestic economy, and
*the maintenance of bonds between the generations."
posted on July 29, 2004 01:16:04 PM newIn vitro I chose tp spell to that way Prof, it wasn't an error.
Intentional spelling errors...very clever...Wait!! I'll bet you've been doing that all along with your apostrophes too...you're a sneaky one you are!!
___________________________________
Beware the man of one book.
- Thomas Aquinas
posted on July 29, 2004 04:08:36 PM new
And everyone thought you were an impecel, Prof!
"The natural family is a man and woman bound in a lifelong covenant of marriage for the purposes of:
*the continuation of the human species,
*the rearing of children,
*the regulation of sexuality,
*the provision of mutual support and protection,
*the creation of an altruistic domestic economy, and
*the maintenance of bonds between the generations."
posted on July 30, 2004 08:15:49 AM new
Hi Yellow... sorry this reply took so long.. my computer flat-lined.. but I am back up and running now and would like to follow up.
I think you all know that I have a great sense of humor and I really did find this post funny...You just happened to hit a very vulnerable spot with me.. my Dad.
But.. I know you didn't have any bad intentions and that this was meant to be just what it was.. a joke..
I had to laugh at your descriptions of everyone... very close to my minds eye too!
Only not right on with me.. LOL..
I'm not tall.. never wore braces and not Canadian.. LOL... but the long red hair and a smattering of freckles fits.. HA!
Anyway, just wanted to say that you caught me being vulnerable... imagine!!!!! mm
