posted on January 4, 2001 08:47:46 PM new
I am in no danger of giving a good idea free to eBay because they would never value a campaign that did not cost them a couple million.
I have friends at the VP level in a national ad agency. I would never accept the stress and I don't have the industrial strength suction needed to tell big wheels what a privilege it is to work for their company and then when they walk out the door everyone says what can we do with this account 'cause everyone knows the product is crap.
posted on January 4, 2001 09:32:30 PM new
Wow! Great thread. My commercial? Well, it's hard to top "dog pisses on it and buries it in the backyard" but here goes.
Let's see, I'd probably do a retelling of the "Monkey's Paw" where the seller inherits a bunch of haunted estate goods from Grandma.
Scene Two: "My customer is an axe murderer!"
Everyone who buys from the seller experiences misfortune, like packages being delayed or showing up for auction by the USPS.
Final Scene: Seller dies a horrible death, but redeems her soul by renouncing handling fees.
Wes Craven directs.
(Alternate ending: villagers storm the castle and bury wooden stake in the heart of seller, whose soul is finally at peace after lying to the IRS.
posted on January 5, 2001 02:46:44 AM new
Seller has purple piggy bank with sombraro that was bought at garage sale for $.25.
Auction closes $125.00. Seller show rolling in many layers of bubble wrap. Flash forward to Post Office. At counter has box stamped fragile all over by clerk who acts like she is tenderizing meat. Clerk double-over-hand throws box through slit curtain and noise of tree chipping machine shredding sounds. Seller shown opening online news later. Headline says Rare Picaso ceramic L@@K!! found after theft from Mexican Museam. (nice pic) Sold at Postal Service auction for $230,000.00. Federal status grants immunity courts say. Postal Inspectors seeking thief from DNA traces.
Ominous heavy knocking at door. End screen
"Experience the excitment of online auction!" - eBay.com
[ edited by gravid on Jan 5, 2001 02:49 AM ]
posted on January 5, 2001 05:42:28 AM new
Camera pans back,shows rear end of person (50's in age,slight sweat,wipes brow)digging through a closet.Pile of trash next to them,with garbage can nearly overflowing.
Person emerges holding "widget" looks at it and mutters something like "Why on earth I ever saved this,I don't know" and stacks it on top of pile.
Son/daughter passes,looks at the pile,and says "Mom/Dad.....you are throwing this stuff away???"
"Lemme guess...I suppose you want to recycle it?" the "digger" replies.
Next shot shows kid at computer with "widget" under lid of scanner,parent looking slightly bewildered.
Next shot of duo looking at "my ebay" page,and clicking refresh,and both smiling...
Music swells (Sanford and Son theme?)
Narratorne man's trash...
. 
ne man's trash...