Linda_K
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posted on October 9, 2000 04:03:47 PM new
Maui has always been great about giving us things to ponder. I hope you enjoy these.
If buttered toast always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
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RainyBear
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posted on October 9, 2000 04:27:48 PM new
If buttered toast always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it?
Experts disagree about this. Some are proponents of the "hover" theory while others advocate the "spin" theory.
1) "If you strap toast, buttered side up, to the back of a cat and drop it from a great height, it will try to land on its feet at the same time as the toast is trying to land buttered side down. Therefore the cat/toast hovers above the ground trying to resolve the paradox."
2) "It was proposed to strap giant slabs of hot buttered toast to the back of a hundred tethered cats; the two opposing forces will cause the cats to hover, spinning inches above the ground. Using the giant buttered toast/cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago."
Edited to add an "s" to "experts," and to say that I can't take credit for either of these theories. I'm just a lowly information gatherer.
[ edited by RainyBear on Oct 9, 2000 05:03 PM ]
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corrdogg
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posted on October 9, 2000 04:48:28 PM new
Linda_K:
You forgot to say: "Thank you, George Carlin".
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 04:52:27 PM new
LindaK...youre a sweety, ya know that? You posted some good ponderments! rainybear...GREAT answers, lol!
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kitsch1
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:29:21 PM new
LOL!
and Maui, to continue....you know I'd never send you any fire ants I was planting a tree here once and found one of them to have fire ants. I pratically killed the tree with all the home made remedys I could come up to get them gone.
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:50:55 PM new
I know you wouldnt send me those nasty ants....unless I really REALLY mad you mad, eh? hehehe
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mybiddness
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posted on October 9, 2000 10:14:23 PM new
Those are great Linda_K And, why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways?
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Linda_K
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:38:36 AM new
RainyBear - Made my post last night, then went off to fix dinner. I just had to post again and let you know how I laughed when I saw the gif you posted. It was perfect. So were your answers.
corrdog Thanks for giving credit where credit is/was due. I didn't know he was the one who said those things, but it figures....he's great.
mybiddnessThanks for that one....I enjoy this type of thing.
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barrybarris
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posted on October 10, 2000 05:18:50 PM new
In Maui's Honor
Maui who?
Barry (I know who......) Barris
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enchanted
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posted on October 10, 2000 05:36:36 PM new
I believe it's Maui's birthday today. Happy birthday!
enchanted
[email protected]
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barrybarris
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posted on October 10, 2000 05:45:32 PM new
Here on the East Coast of the USA it won't be Maui's Birthday for another 2 hours 15 minutes (Oct. 11).
Happy Birthday eBabe...
Barry (we both be Libras) Barris
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enchanted
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posted on October 10, 2000 05:48:46 PM new
you're right Barry, ooops, my mistake, it's tomorrow not today.
no harm in starting her birthday party a little early
enchanted
[email protected]
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barrybarris
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posted on October 10, 2000 05:59:35 PM new
enchanted,
It's best we started the party early. This way we get;
The best seats.
Our presents are opened first.
Bigger pieces of cake.
Our ice cream will not get a chance to melt.
If they still do that spanking thing we will be first in line.
Barry (earlier is better than later) Barris
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mauimoods
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posted on October 10, 2000 06:07:39 PM new
Awwww....early is good, but tomorrow is better, lol. Thank you Enchanted and Barry...well...thank you EARLY
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enchanted
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posted on October 10, 2000 06:19:17 PM new
we were so excited about your birthday maui we just couldn't wait til tomorrow we had to start tonight LOL!
hope it's so good the party lasts all two days
i'll have some of that ice cream barry
enchanted
[email protected]
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enchanted
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posted on October 10, 2000 06:24:08 PM new
I'm thinking we could use a party and aponderment in maui's honor tonight.
ok, here's my question, which auctionwatch poster would you invite as your date to maui's birthday party?
LOL everyone knows who I'd ask! but i'm too shy to say
Barry no fair taking the entire harem with you
enchanted
[email protected]
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mauimoods
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posted on October 10, 2000 06:27:21 PM new
Can I have a date too? I want Sean Connery
If I cant have him, then I will pick Barry(hes so sexy)Barris
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enchanted
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posted on October 10, 2000 06:29:39 PM new
maui you can have anyone you want on your birthday girl!
but if you have Sean on one arm and Barry on the other who will be keeping the harem company?
enchanted
[email protected]
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mauimoods
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posted on October 10, 2000 06:53:09 PM new
The Validah will have to keep the harem occupied
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enchanted
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posted on October 10, 2000 06:59:08 PM new
Validah??
[email protected]
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mauimoods
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:02:11 PM new
Mother of the sultan. Head of the harem.
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enchanted
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:05:56 PM new
OH. Poor girls they deserve someone to keep them busy while barry is occupied elsewhere. LOl!
enchanted
[email protected]
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mauimoods
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:08:07 PM new
Sorry...wrong spelling...VALIDEH.
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mauimoods
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:13:58 PM new
We are all wanting to be kadins to our sultan Barry(the first)Barris. Once we have been blessed by accompanying Sultan Barry to his couch, we turn into kadins. Once one gives birth to the heir of the sultan, one turns into Valideh. Bas-Kadin is the "favorite" who gives birth first (I think). Once Barry departs this earth, then one becomes Valideh.
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dcj
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:17:49 PM new
So, are we saying Maui's birthday begins at 12:01 Eastern?
D. (who wants to be one of the first in line, and will wait up to do so...)
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enchanted
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:19:30 PM new
yep dcj
and who might you be bringing to the party dcj?
enchanted
[email protected]
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mauimoods
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:20:51 PM new
Hiya Diana! I will grab Sean..and/or Barry...and come running tomorrow!
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calamity49
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:23:47 PM new
Well, I was just going to post that I had nothing to say except to join in honoring Maui BUT---Happy Pre-Birhtday, Maui.
You ain't getting older. You're getting better!!!
Calamity
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dcj
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:25:20 PM new
Dunno, enchanted, got a spare outlaw tucked away? 
(Kidding...)
See ya'll in about an hour and a half then! Be good, enchanted...
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barrybarris
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posted on October 10, 2000 07:25:55 PM new
WOW, that's a relief. Not knowing what Validah was I did a search and came up with stuff about "Ayatollah Khomeini".
Thanks for the correction Maui, now it's Valideh. I like the sound of Valideh much better...
Barry (Valideh, Head of the harem, sounds like a busy job......) Barris
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