mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:28:53 PM new
I thought that was a good question. So...what IS the difference between the two, in your opinion?
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oddish4
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:34:52 PM new
Intent
Oddish~ The Odd One
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:35:57 PM new
 Oddish...yes.
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grannyfox
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:37:02 PM new
Maui,
Great question! 
To me the difference is in being able to accept silence as an answer. Just because I ask...does not mean a person needs to feel compelled to answer me.
**Disclaimer: If I appear arguementive, then I probably am just being a #*!@ today. It comes & goes. C.
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:39:05 PM new
GF..you are the one that made me ponder it. Yes, you asked a great question, and Im just carrying it onward because nobody had a chance to give their input. And you are correct. Silence does answer at times, doesnt it?
edited to fix spelling.
[ edited by mauimoods on Oct 9, 2000 05:39 PM ]
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Meya
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:41:29 PM new
Nosy is motivated by the nosy person only wanting to stick their nose in so they can know all the details etc.
Caring stems from wanting the best for the other person, setting their own agenda aside, even if it means being "out of the loop".
My experience has been that ignorance is bliss.
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kitsch1
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:50:54 PM new
Well, I answer questions, always have. In RL people ask me a question and they get the straight out answer no matter what the answer is. Many people have learned not to ask me questions often. My friend here jokes now about why she NEVER asks me what I think about her color and or style of the week hair. (anymore)
Anyway, things are said on public boards, so those things are by the nature of boards open to everyone to post to, but I guess it kinda bugs me if I answer and then the person never acknowledges the answer I took the time to give.
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:52:39 PM new
Join the club Kel (about not getting a reply when answering). Being ignored is answer in itself, is it not?
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:57:12 PM new
Meya...your answer is a good one too.
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kitsch1
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posted on October 9, 2000 05:57:19 PM new
Well it's like ok I'm just curious so please splain it to me why you said such n such. Then it's like you kinda open up and splain a thing and that should kinda take care of the curious question. But it's not commented on, ok, no big deal, but then the questioning continues with another party who comes to help splain it.
Well this seems not just curious anymore...but just kinda forcing explanations of why they have to read our stuff.
So, what I get from it is that the questioner is not truly curious....but in fact is berating my original post in an around the barn three times way.
Edited to destroy an L
[ edited by kitsch1 on Oct 9, 2000 06:01 PM ]
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herself
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:02:12 PM new
Hey Maui, Oddish answered what I was going to answer and Grannyfox elaborated a bit more...
Slow loading for me too. I might have missed some posts. (I've also been sitting here thinking about this for awhile before posting.) Yes, a good question...
I might come back to this again in awhile...
P.S. I (almost) always answer people's questions but on occasion, I don't depending upon how I am questioned. My previous post (in the now-locked thread) was a little out of character for me. I'm sorry if it upset anyone. I'm just in a sort of mood...
Editing to add an "n" - sticky old keyboard...
[ edited by herself on Oct 9, 2000 06:09 PM ]
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:03:56 PM new
Thats where Oddish's "intent" comes in, I think. What was the "intent" to question what one posts? Was it noseiness, or was it caring? It depends on what was stated, and by whom. A fellow friend who is known to be friend with the person who posted the original whatever? Or someone who doesnt like or is friends? Then there comes that word again....intent. (I like that word, Oddish)
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:05:03 PM new
'Dusa...I think Oddish gets the brownie point, dont you?
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kitsch1
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:07:27 PM new
On the other hand, I think sometimes, I just drop out of threads or sign off and I feel kinda rude for it, but my span of attention is severely lacking at times.
I do try to check back tho. I try! I really really do!
I dunno, herself, I thought your answer covered it pretty well.
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kitsch1
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:09:07 PM new
I think I should get points for the most confusing post of the evening.
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:11:07 PM new
Kel, leaving and coming in later is separate. One is not expected to haunt the boards all the time and make sure every question or greeting is seen. I guess what Im asking is WHY some folks feel the need or urge to state something that wasnt aimed at them, or ask about something that clearly was meant for someone else. What is the original intent for that to happen? Being nosey? Being concerned and showing it? Or throwing a wrench in?
edited to add...and what is the difference and how can one tell that difference? Intent.
[ edited by mauimoods on Oct 9, 2000 06:12 PM ]
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herself
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:15:43 PM new
Yes, Maui. I think Oddish does get the point, and Kel too! Whee hee! Points for everybody!
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kitsch1
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:18:10 PM new
I'm so rude!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Oddish!!!!!
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:20:19 PM new
Phtooey on the points. I want one of Nobs brownies
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dcj
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:21:53 PM new
How nice to see so many people I like in one thread!
Just to play devil's advocate - I do think when ya post about stuff on a public forum on a public board, you rather open yourself up to questioning and advice from all comers, unless you specifically state that you'd rather hold the discussion one on one...in which case, e-mail or IM does seem a better option.
With that said, the thread wherein this issue came up made sense (to me) to be posted on this board, as it related to events and discussions that occured here earlier.
I thought it a nice model for how to patch things up through open conversation rather than nursing one of those endless grudges that so plague our discussion boards. Spoke well of both participants.
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:24:41 PM new
Hi Diana! Good to see you! I wasnt necessarily refering to the one thread in question...but in others where this happens.
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stockticker
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:30:25 PM new
I think if my behavior puzzled someone, I would rather have them ask me directly about it rather than start another thread here or on another board speculating upon the reasons for my behavior.
I prefer the honesty of the former approach. I might not answer and it might even indicate (in a polite way) that it was none of their business but at least I would respect their directness in saying something to my face rather than in an oblique manner.
Irene
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mauimoods
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:35:26 PM new
Oblique manner is what is confusing, Irene. How does one know? I keep coming back to that word...intent. But what intent? To care? Or to be nosey? I guess it all pertains to what one perceives. And the chance of being wrong in that perception...the consequences.
edited to change a word that didnt make sense (duh...as if I am anyway)
[ edited by mauimoods on Oct 9, 2000 06:37 PM ]
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siggy
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:36:10 PM new
I'm sorry, herself, I didn't quite catch that. Could you elaborate?
heeee and running..... :b
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oddish4
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:46:44 PM new
Intent shouldn't be too hard to figure out in oneself. Very difficult to mind read in others. I think Meya said it very nicely ^ there.
Hiya Kel
Oddish~ The Odd One
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kitsch1
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:46:45 PM new
Hi Diana!
And Stockticker, I stood chastised by me before you brought that valid point to this topic.
I was wrong in being specific, I had left over things on my mind from another thread and have attacked in a thread the wronged may not even open.
I used Mauis topic which should have stayed general.
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/[email protected]/
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herself
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:52:09 PM new
Hi Diana and Irene too (if I missed anybody it's because I'm slow)...
Diana, what you say about opening oneself up bothers me. Even if I am open I think some kinds of questions are impolite or rude...
Such as questions that also contain statements which are judgemental, such as "I think this is weird." or "odd" or what-ever...
Heeee! Siggy...
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dcj
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posted on October 9, 2000 06:58:48 PM new
Oh, sure, herself the elf, we all have our boundaries and our reactions to certain styles of communication, won't debate that with ya...
My point was just that once you do decide to post publicly, you open yourself to all manner of comments, whether you like 'em or not. Not to say that you *deserve* them, just that you open yourself to them.
As to determining intent, I'm with oddish - one only need worry about one's own. That's hard enough to fathom much of the time, heheh.
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oddish4
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posted on October 9, 2000 07:00:29 PM new
Diana
How are you? I haven't seen you forever! Are you feeling any better?
Oddish~ The Odd One
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dcj
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posted on October 9, 2000 07:09:27 PM new
Finally feeling semi-human again, spritehead, and holding out high hopes for the future! Boy, I don't know how people deal with chronic pain...I have only had four weeks of it, and I'm at my last layer of energy.
Speaking of which, I need to scoot, and finish making dinner and then lie down to ensure I preserve this recuperative trend!
Nice to see all of you for a minute...
D.
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