posted on April 22, 2002 08:49:19 PM new
WATCH OUT I'M ON A ROLL FOR THE CHILDREN OUT THERE TONIGHT ACCORDING TO EBAY:
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about
> her then
> 4 yr. old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left
> her
> stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up
> and began
> playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my
> daughter
> wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into
> the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------
posted on April 22, 2002 08:58:42 PM new
last JOKE OF THE NIGHT- MY THOUGHTS ON "KILL THREAD"
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive
> >Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon,
> >he asked how many were willing to forgive their
> >enemies.
> >
> >About half held up their hands.
> >
> >Not satisfied he harangued for another twenty
> >minutes and repeated his question.
> >
> >This time he received a response of eighty percent.
> >
> >Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen minutes and
> >repeated his question. With all thoughts now on
> >Sunday dinner, all responded except one elderly
> >lady in the rear.
> >
> >"Ms. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your
> >enemies?"
> >
> >"I don't have any."
> >
> >"Ms. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
> >
> >"Ninety-three."
> >
> >"Ms. Jones, please come down in front and tell the
> >congregation how a person can live to ninety-three
> >and not have an enemy in the world."
> >
> >The little sweetheart of a lady teetered down the
> >aisle, very slowly turned around & said "It's easy. I
> >just outlived the sons of b hes."
posted on April 22, 2002 09:03:43 PM new
HAIR2DYE4,,,,,,,,HAHAHAHHAHHAHA, HAHAHAHHAHAHA, HAHAHHAHHAHHA, HAHAHAHHAHAH, HAHAHAHHANOW THAT WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAAHA, HAHAHAHHAHA,HAHAHAHHAHAHHA.
posted on April 22, 2002 09:08:33 PM new
Ya know when you get e-mail jokes and do e-bay you just hit delete, unless of course you have someone who just sends the best? Any way I wish I could figure out how to post pictures here, I have the best slide show of 'WHY MEN SHOULDN'T BABY SIT" WOULD EVEN HAVE THE GROUCHY LURKERS LAUGHING... DARN
posted on April 22, 2002 09:16:34 PM new
SO I LIED, IF THIS DOESN'T CRACK YOU UP NOTHING WILL... IF KAIRA CAN SING WELL...
> 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does
he
> become disoriented?
> 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
> Holland called Holes?
> 3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
> 4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
> 5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
> 6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
> 7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your
two
> cents in ... what happens to the other penny?
> 8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
> 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
> bread to begin with?
> 10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
> 11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who
> drives a race car not called a racist?
> 12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
> 13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
> 14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
> 15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
> Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
> 16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that
> electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models
> deposed, tree surgeons debarked,
> and dry cleaners depressed?
> 17. If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
> 18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
> 19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
> 20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
more
> as they get older; then it dawned on me. They're cramming for their final
> exam.
> 21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
> and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
> 22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are
> we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures
on
> the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver
the
> mail?
> 23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are
the
> others here for?
> 24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
> 25. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
> 26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
> 27. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little
> bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
> 28. If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay
> Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee
> Titans?
> 29. If four out of five people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that
> one enjoys it?
> 30. There are three religious truths: -- Jews do not recognize Jesus as
the
> Messiah. -- Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
> Christian faith. -- Baptists do not recognize each
> other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
>
posted on April 22, 2002 10:01:49 PM new
700!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE YOU PEOPLE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. THE INSANITY OF THIS INSANITY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I AM GOING OVER AND JOIN THE ANTI LONGEST THREAD,,,,,,,,,,AHHAAHAHHAHAHA. 700,,,,,,,,,,WHY ME GOD????????? HAHAAHHHHHAHA. SHOOT,,,,,,,,,,,,,GO ON,,,,,,,,HIT THE 1000 MARK AND,,,,,,,,,,,UNBELIEVABLE. COME ON!!!!! 700 IS SOME KIND OF,,,,,,,,,,MILE STONE E'R SOMTHIN'. DO SOME FIREWORKS E'R SUMTHIN' TRAI,,,,,,,,,,,,,AND KIARA YOU MUST HAVE SOME REALLY JUBILANT SONG IN YOUR HEART FOR THIS FESTIVE OCCASSION.............CRAZY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,JUSTPLAIN AN SIMPLE,,,,,,,,,,,,CRAZY. HAHAHAHHA . HA HA HEE HEE HOE HOE. THEIR GOING TO TAKE US AWAY,,,,,,,,,,,,KIARA,,,,,,,,,YOU KNOW THIS IS WHERE THE SPOT LIGHT IS ON YOU,,,,,,,,,SING IT OUT! HAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHA. THE ANTI GUYS SAID IT,,,,,,,,IS THERE SOME PRIZE????????? YEAH, THE PRIZE IS YOU GUYS,,,,,,,,,,,,THE GOOD GUYS!!!!!!!! BLESS YOU ALL. HAHAHAHHAHA CRAZY,,,,,,I'M CRAZY FOR FEELIN' SO BLUE, I'M CRAZY FER CRYIN' AND...............TAKE OVER KIARA.........
posted on April 22, 2002 10:26:12 PM new
GOAL. BE IT WHATEVER,,,,,,,,,,,BUT WHEN WE HAVE DONE IT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,IT FEELS,,,,,,,,,,SO ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,GOOOOOOOOD. HAVE WE NO GOALS,,,,,,,,THERE IS NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. ONCE WE HAVE ACCOMPLISHED ONE,,,,,,,,,,,,WE GO TO THE NEXT,,,,,,,,,AND SUCH IS LIFE............KIARA,,,,,,,,I GUESS YOU HAVE AND SO HAS EVERYBODY ELSE,,,,,,,,,FIGURED OUT OF ALL THE SONGS IN MY LIFE,,,,,,,,,,,,,THAT'S LIFE,,,,,,,,,,IS THE ONE THAT MOTIVATES ME,,,,,,,,,,THE MOST. FER RIGHT NOW ANYWAY. HAHAHHAHA. I AM SURE ONE OF THESE DAYS MY TUNE WILL CHANGE,,,,,,,,,,,,TO EVEN BETTER. THIS ONE HAS BEEN "A" NUMBER ONE,,,,,,TOP OF THE LIST HERE SO FAR WITH ME. AND ALL OF THE POSTERS HAVE MADE IT THAT WAY. HYPE IT, TYPE IT, MAKE IT BIG! MAKE IT SMALL,,,,,,,,,,,,HAHAHHAHA YEAH, I LURKED,,,,,,THANKS YOU MADE ME VERY AWARE. THANKS KIARA.
posted on April 22, 2002 10:32:36 PM new
You are waaaaaay too funny, Jack.
Now a sad song? This is waaaaay sad but since you requested it, here goes.
CRAZY (Patsy Cline)
Written by Willie Nelson
Crazy ... I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely
I'm crazy ... crazy for feelin' so blue
I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted,
And then someday, you'd leave me for somebody new
Worry ... why do I let myself worry?
Wonderin' ... what in the world did I do?
Oh, crazy ... for thinkin' that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for tryin', and crazy for cryin'
And I'm crazy for lovin' you
Crazy ... for thinkin' that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for tryin', and crazy for cryin'
And I'm crazy for lovin' you
posted on April 22, 2002 10:41:16 PM new
O.K. GIVE US A HAPPY,,,,,,CRAZY SONG. I CAN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME THINK OF ONE,,,,,,,,,I AM THINKIN',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,REALLY HARD,,,,,,,AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THOSE LAZY, CRAZY DAYS OF SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!! YEHAAAAAAAAAA!
posted on April 22, 2002 10:46:09 PM new
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer
Those days of soda and pretzels and beer
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer
Dust off the sun and moon and sing a song of cheer
posted on April 22, 2002 11:03:08 PM new
KIARA,,,,,,,,,,, WITH YOU ON BOARD........THERE ARE A MILLION SONGS,,,,,,,HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.HAHAHHAHAHA--------------HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA++++++++++++++++++++=HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>HAHAHAHHAHAHHA@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@2HAHAHHAHAHAHA. LONG LIVE YER SINGING+++++++++++++++++++++++++, +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++,+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=+ EVEN MORE, MORE HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA. JOKESTERS, JOKE.........AND THEN MUSHHEAD ME WILL JUMP IN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,,,,,,,,,,,,HAHAHAHHAHAHAH YEAH, RIGHT. LIKE EVERY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ONCE A YEAR. WHEN YA GET TO MY AGE,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHO CARES WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS,,,,,,,,,,,I ALREADY BEEN THERE. HAHAHAHHHAA. SING, DANCE, JOKE. IT'S ALL ABOUT LIFE. OUR LIVES. AH,,,,,,,THE SUMMER WINDS JUST CAME ON,,,,,,,,,,,,KIARA,,,,,,,,,THAT SONG SAID TO TOUCH YOUR HAIR, YOU BETTER LISTEN TO THAT ONE AGAIN,,,,,,,,,,,CAUSE YOU SAID OTHER THAN THAT ON YOUR SONG THE OTHER DAY. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. MAYBE IT WAS YOUR OWN VERSION AND IF IT WAS ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,IT STILL RYMED. THEY,,,,,,,,,THE ANTI GROUP SAID GO SOME WHERE ELSE BECAUSE THEY DO WHAT YOU CRAZIES DO ELSEWHERE BUT THE COMBINATION WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME ANYWHERE ELSE BUT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,RIGHT HERE. HIT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! SING IT OUT!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE ALL THE BEST. GIVE YER AOTHER FRIENDS A CALL AND TELL THEM JACKS BAR IS NEWLY DECORATED AND READY TO SERVE ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! WHEN COVERSATION ENDS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,LIFE IS OVER.........
posted on April 22, 2002 11:55:36 PM new
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT??????????? YER FALLIN' HALLO ???????? HAHAHAHAHAHAH. WELL I STILL THINK YOU ARE. O.K. SO HIT IT TOMORROW WITH AN ALL ANGEL SONGS DAY. NO ,,,,,,,,,,,,,YOU DO WHAT EVER MOVES ,,,,,,,,,,,,YOU. ONE ANGEL SONG A WEEK WOULD BE GREAT. THEN WE HAVE RAIN, SNOW, SUMMER, SPRING WINTER AND FALL. JUST TO NAME ONE QUARTER OF A MILLION. HAHAHHAHAHAHHA. ME AND YOU AND ALL OF US GONNA ,,,,,,,,BE THE LONGEST THREAD EVER. WHY?????????? BECAUSE IT IS ALL ABOUT ONE THING,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,LOVE. WE GOTTA LOVE ONE ANOTHER,,,,,,,,,,,,,SHOOT I AM GONE............BUT KIARA KNOWS THE SONG I AM THINKING OF. HAHHAHAHAHHA. YOU KNOW WHAT I KNOW. NO NOT MUCH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,YOU KNOW..........SING IT, PLEASE.......HAHAHAHHA. THANKS. KIARA,,,,,,,,EDDY GOURMET AND STEVE LAWRENCE, SONNY AND CHER, COME ON POSTERS GIVE US SOME PEOPLE WHO REALLY TEAMED UP IN MUSIC. WED, UNWED,,,,,,,FRIENDS,,,,,,,,,,,SO HEY,,,,,,,,,,,,I WENT TO INSANITY SCHOOL,,,,,,THE TEACHERS WERE OBVIOUSLY VERY GOOD. GLENN YARBORO (SP,AND I KNOW IT.) FOLKS I DON'T REALLY WANT TO KEEP APPOLOGING FOR MY SPELLING IN THE FUTRE CRAZY THINGS I RITE. FIGURE IT THIS WAY, YOU ARE GETTIN' THE RAW VERSION. HAHAHAHHAHA. MICKEY ROONEY AIN'T PERFECT TILL THEY EDIT THE HELL OUT OF HIM EITHER. TOO. HAHAHAH. SEE.
posted on April 23, 2002 12:10:39 AM new
THE VERY, VERY BIGGEST YOU COULD EVER KNOW. THANKS KIARA. ALL POWER IS IN THE MIND.
[ edited by jackswebb on Apr 23, 2002 08:29 PM ]
posted on April 23, 2002 01:56:27 AM new
What is going on!!! I Can't sleep and you guys are partying!!! GOOD FOR YOU
82 pages and they didn't get kicked off the board? Gotta check it out! We should go for at least 90 pages JACK
