posted on January 1, 2004 06:57:34 PM new
Me too, only it was a cup of tea.
Fluffy I think you've said it all. I've seen that "intimacy" a lot more than I ever wanted to.
Rob & I went together for 10 years, he told me from the start he never wanted to get married.
I often dated other men, took them to places where I knew Rob would be. He would buy us a drink, talk awhile & say goodnight. Never a question to me about the other guy, ever.
I finally met someone I really liked, told Robert & asked if he would like to make a comittment to me & he said no, Jane you do what you have to do. I did & for nine months I didn't see him. He called me one night & asked me to go to the mountains for the weekend, I did & he asked me to marry him.
We married July 11, 1976
We honeymooned in Alcupulco,(sp) Mexico & for six months he changed to be everything I ever wanted & then slowly he reverted back to the old Robert & there he stayed for the next 26 years. He was right from the start about not wanting to get married, it's not for him. He simply cannot share himself with anyone. I wasn't happy, but I was contented & I guess that's why I stayed. Then you wake up one day & your not young anymore. It's downright depressing.
ltray
I am so happy for you, these nice guy zombies are not worth giving our lives to.
I'm going to do what you did, make a change.
You are blessed for finding the right person to share your life with.
posted on January 2, 2004 01:48:52 PM new
What the hey, I'll join in!
Men, in general, do believe in intimacy. Granted, the priorities differ quite a bit between men and women. As long as both know this, and are willing (key phrase) to make it work, it will.
"Who's tending the bar? Sniping works up a thirst"
posted on January 2, 2004 02:13:46 PM new
I think it's good to have some time apart. Separate vacations once in a while couldn't hurt. Mine has been on vacation from work this week. Same with me. We've been bumping into each other all week. Yesterday I'm in the kitchen making dinner and he's snacking right out of the 'fridge, putting things on the counter and I wasn't getting dinner done. I finally yelled at him to go in the other room when he started to just stand there and watch me. I told him he should go to his friend Eddy's house for a visit since he hasn't seen him for awhile and he sees me all the time. LOL! I'm still waiting. . .
Like I said before, I have my own office in the house and that's where I go when I need some "me" time. Ken likes to smother and I'm not the type who likes or appreciates that. If I'm watching a good movie on the DVD player and really getting into it, he'll want to cuddle, hug, smooth, whatever. He then can't understand why I tell him to stop. He's on the other side of the spectrum - he likes too much intimacy. It's almost like if I'm not on him 24/7, he doesn't feel like I love him. I guess we're just too very different people. But, that may be why we stay together. Life is sure interesting at times around here!
Speaking of sons moving back home. . .mine just did. However, he is only 19 and he did have his car broken into 3 times and his home as well. The police seem to think it's the same people. He's back home for safety reasons and is looking for another place.
posted on January 2, 2004 02:16:13 PM new
Humans are not basically monogamous creatures. That is why the divorce rate is so high and why there are so many infidelities in many marriages. As horsey would say 'people are basically too lazy to divorce'.
-------------- sig file ----------- *There is no conclusive evidence that life is serious*
posted on January 2, 2004 02:34:29 PM new
I think intimacy is just too complex for most men.
One of my favorite quotes...
"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control."
__________________________________
"I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to the people who sleep under the very blanket of freedom I provide, and then question the manner in which I provide it. I'd rather you just said 'thank you' and went on your way." - A Few Good Men
Sniping works up a thirst"