posted on January 29, 2001 03:40:11 PM new
Put it this way.
I would never tell my daughter she could be Einstein.
I would tell her that she can be "HERNAME" and that HERNAME is marvelous.
posted on January 29, 2001 03:44:32 PM new
Excellent points, VM. Incredibly excellent, because I think we do *exactly* that kind of cruelty to kids...boxing them into our own idea of what constitutes brilliance...
It would be better stated as this:
What if we treated each child as though he or she was, in fact, brilliant, in his or her own right, in the way he or she was meant to be?
I *know* you do that with yours...which is why I'm not worried about them. I wish all kids had parents like you.
posted on January 29, 2001 03:45:31 PM new
FWIW - I tell my daughter that the way that she can read is part of her magic.
I tell her that other kids have their own magic.
I tell her that no matter what happens, if she just keeps doing her own magic things will be okay.
I tell her that her magic is great magic.
posted on January 29, 2001 03:50:33 PM new
so...
when the other kid plays the piano and everyone claps, it is easy thing for my daughter clap for another kids magic.
What we value around here is doing your own magic. We do not care what your magic is.
posted on January 29, 2001 03:53:29 PM new
Magic...
You're right. That magic is surely the gift we have to offer the next generation, our belief in them and our celebration of what they do well.
There are too many little ones alone and without love, or placed in the cruel boxes that determine who or what they should be to earn love and celebration.
At the same time, even those can sometimes grow up to change the world.
Maybe I'm a poet. But I think it's more universal than that. I look out on the flower garden of my kids and their friends, and just do my best to water them. In the off chance that each of them might save the world one day...
I've a distinct feeling we're not disagreeing here, VM...
posted on January 29, 2001 04:43:51 PM new
I am gonna take your word for it dcj
I have about 10 pies (Pizza pies, of course!) in the air right now and so my magic is spread kinda thin at the moment, but I sure appreciate this thread.
It has pushed me to a new land and I always love that.
posted on January 29, 2001 08:00:54 PM new
More un-comfort zone today. Maybe it is because I am supposed to move my line
My daughter came home with fractions today. They've introduced them. Divide the pie into halves, eighths, up to sixteenths. I was surprised and I thought of inside's remarks.
So I asked my daughter if she liked doing them, answer was "yes".
It did not sit well with me and then I started wondering.
I do not know the answer to this - looking for input.
If they do a page of arithmetic problems, 30 or so to a page and they do them correctly and with a fair amount of speed -- then how many sheets like that should they do before they move along?
2, 20, 40, 200...
I don't know.
At what point is it repetitive?
I really have no point to compare since this is my oldest child and my own experience was so bizarre.
Perhaps not only is it OKAY that they push ahead, could it be that it is preferable?
I think that like the other, I am not immediately comfortable, but I really do not have expertise in a large sense. I am sure that there are some people who feel the children are pushed academically my daughter likes it. She is a gal who would NOT choose to play with the doll in the corner - given a choice. Provided she does not balk or strain, is there any reason *not* to teach her "whatever" math when she is 5 or 6 or 7?
posted on January 29, 2001 09:23:47 PM new
OK, VM...my own brilliant daughter (14) has read this whole thread and here's what she has to say:
Jennifer here.
First of all, although I have no personal experience with being stepped ahead a grade, and was not put into any special program until I was in 5th grade, I have a friend who was offered such a choice, and her mother refused.
Today my friend has been dropped from the Honors class, yet is still involved with a PullOut program that we have in our school. My friend is an intelligent person, yet she lacks the confidence to push herself to try to succeed in the academic area.
Obviously, my friend and your daughter are two very different people. Still, I thought I'd share with you what happened when the chance to skip ahead was NOT taken, because not many people have covered that.
I believe that I, myself, would've hung my mother from a tree if she'd tried to skip me a grade! I don't know why, I just know it would've been a bad thing. It's one of those gut instincts.
Whether or not she ought to choose for herself in general is totally off the topic. On this specific thing, I believe there should be a sort of balance, as I think about everything. Perhaps a conversation where you bounce your views off your daughter and she has the chance to do the same?
But in the long run, it's your choice. And I know how parents hate it when people who are young give them any sort of advice about how to be a parent, because how would I know? But I know how it is to be a kid. And I know what I expect from my mother.
So, it's hard because I don't know your daughter. But, I think if she's anything like me, then you should not skip her ahead.
As for fractions, I liked them at first, and then I got to know them better. O>-<: (dcj note: that is a skateboard smiley).
posted on January 30, 2001 05:49:01 AM new
inside - well that solves that!
bunnicula - it appears the problem is my ambivalence and discomfort with my daughters acceleration, combined with my ignorance of what is taught to who when.
On the upside I mean well
Jen - thanks for posting, I appreciate it.
I love the Alien smile - I have never seen him before. I don't get out much
Tell your Mom that I understood your post very well but am still trying to comprehend her ideas about equal brilliance.
If she gives you any more trouble, explain to her that you have a brilliant mind she has not comprehended.
That oughta buy you a smile. (<>..<>
posted on January 30, 2001 03:53:21 PM new
We all have a tendency to overmanage our first child. The first child, you sterilize everything. The second child, you're digging the pacifier out of the garbage and sticking it right in their mouth.
VM, you have a long way to go before your kid gets grown. Don't expend too much of yourself over every new first grade topic. Relax a bit, your kid will relax a bit, it'll probably be good for both of you.
posted on January 30, 2001 05:30:16 PM new
Funny timing: VM: I was talking with my folks about education (dinner conversation with all the new Bush cra....stuff).....
ANYWAY: Turns out that my second grade teacher wanted to skip me to fourth grade! My parents REFUSED! Turns out they just knew I wasn't ready for fourth grade.
Good Lord were they right!! I didn't hit my 'stride' until sophmore year in high school (after then, look out.....I was on a roll socially and 'bookwise'.....which is not to say I didn't have all the typical social trama). Before that I was a mess.....I was a 'duck kid' without any of the grace.
I had NO idea about any of this! Of course, I had no idea that my first grade teacher wanted to put me in special ed because of my HORRIBLE coordination and a whole list of other crap......I didn't find that out until I was taking a Sped class for my teaching degree and realized that I fit a lot of the requirements. SIDE NOTE: I can't tell you how greatful I am to my folks for never telling me EITHER of those options....I've seen what happens to labled kids and I know I would have taken the label to heart.
Anyway, I had to share that with you.....I'm off to pump my folks for more info.....at this point I wouldn't be suprised if I had been dropped off at the door by wolves!
: (dcj note: that is a skateboard smiley).