posted on April 3, 2001 04:18:08 PM new
First of all, I want to thank badu and jt for their input on my "Organized Religion" thread. Things got somewhat side-tracked, but your post came through loud & clear...thanks!!
Now, the reason why my thread got side-tracked is an interesting one. Some posters have grievances with others, but aren't allowed to hash it out on these boards. That's why I really didn't mind that my thread went off topic.
Somewhere along the line, someone deemed that having a disagreement is wrong and should be stopped, but to me, it's like having a fight with my hubby and going to bed mad. Not solving something is 10 times more frustrating than hashing it out.
I think it would be in everyones best interest if we had some kind of forum where we could fight it out (if necessary).
Don't you think that's better than having posters mad at each other??
posted on April 3, 2001 04:26:13 PM new think it would be in everyones best interest if we had some kind of forum where we could fight it out
I don't believe it would work. The bitterness between two posters would escalate. Others could see the dialog and they'd take sides and cause more friction.
There already is a means for 'hashing it out' if two people really want to do that. email.
posted on April 3, 2001 04:42:49 PM newthink it would be in everyones best interest if we had some kind of forum where we could fight it out
I agree with uaru. There are enough other marginally auction related sites out there where people can hash it out and I don't think that most people benefit from the public thrashing. It's pretty simple to take it to email or ,if the email address isn't known, to offer an apology. If someone is willing to make a public accusation , he/she should be willing to back it up with facts. I try to do the same thing here that I would do at a public meeting - not make any charges that I'm unwilling to back up. I don't think anyone benefits from all the namecalling and accusations. I watched Auctionwatch for a long time before joining - the atmosphere was too hostile. I try to choose what I'm willing to go to battle for and so far an auction chat board isn't it.
posted on April 3, 2001 04:49:37 PM newSomewhere along the line, someone deemed that having a disagreement is wrong and should be stopped, but to me, it's like having a fight with my hubby and going to bed mad. Not solving something is 10 times more frustrating than hashing it out.
krafty,
That's how we do things here. In the past there were other sites many of us frequented that had "hash it out" forums, where all the rules were lifted and you could cuss someone out to your heart's content, if it made you feel better or if that's all you had going for you by way of argument skills. These places had catchy names like "The Baggage Car" (this was on a site with a train theme) and "Gloves Off." The fights were transferred from the main forum to these forums when things got too heated. Thing is, nothing ever got resolved. It was great for site hits, good fun for folks watching, and at times invigorating to be part of it (if you're the sort that likes spirited debate). At worst, it became very ugly too. More so than you can probably guess. There's a forum out there now where most fights are permitted right out in the open, no special forum required. The last big blow-up I saw there resulted in some extremely hurtful things being said about a former poster here by someone he/she considered a friend. I don't think I've seen that poster on the boards since it happened. It was very ugly and in some ways very sad.
So you see, it's not always best that we try to resolve these arguments we have on the boards. In a perfect world, maybe. But not here. Maybe going back to our respective corners is the best we can do.
Besides, too many people get real enjoyment from nurturing their grudges. They would be reluctant to give them up.
posted on April 3, 2001 04:53:58 PM new
Perhaps what is truely needed is for everyone to be reminded that this is cyberspace, not real life. This is a fantasy place and within it, you can say or do things that you could never do in public or at home. With the realization that none of this is real, then no one ought to get personal on here. Follow the CG's, they make sense. It's Sandbox Rules:
Play Nice, Play Fair, Don't Swear;
Be Polite at All Times;
Share your Toys;
Stay in your spot, don't shove someone out of theirs;
Dumping Sand down someone's underwear is not allowed.
I disagree wholeheartedly with the positions of serveral posters on here, but that would never stop me from going out for a beer with them if we were in person.
posted on April 3, 2001 06:19:48 PM new
I think the best way to sometimes solve it is to just agree to disagree. I have very strong feelings on certain issues. And some people would not agree with my stance on certain issues. But, they are entitled to their opinion and I feel that I should respect their opinion when I don't agree with it. So, I also agree with Spaz.
posted on April 3, 2001 06:58:48 PM new
{{{borillar}}} for the sandbox rules!
>>Dumping Sand down someone's underwear is not allowed<<
LMAO
Very Appropriate around here!
Also at times appropo:
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!
I truly enjoy a good debate. A meeting of the minds ~ IMO, enlighten me, share with me, learn from our differences. But, the personal attacks? what for? One of the key elements for any communication is respect.
I can respect that you have a different opinion than I do. I can respect your experiences, your beliefs, your ideas. I do not respect vicious attacks on posters ~ we are each entitled to our opinions ~ one opinion is no more wrong than another.
Opinions cannot be wrong.
but that's just my opinion
only ZOOMIN here
posted on April 3, 2001 07:03:37 PM newSpaz says: There's a forum out there now where most fights are permitted right out in the open, no special forum required. The last big blow-up I saw there resulted in some extremely hurtful things being said about a former poster here by someone he/she considered a friend. I don't think I've seen that poster on the boards since it happened. It was very ugly and in some ways very sad.
That poster is still active - just on different boards. It was far more sad than ugly in my eyes, but then I was too close to it, I suppose.
kraftdinner - I'm sorry that happened to your thread. I'm puzzled as to why it was handled exactly the way it was, instead of in an alternative way, but that's all I can say without breeching the new protocol here. As to a Hash It Out Forum - there are pros and cons. Some are capable of using it to solve issues, and others can only use such a place to rant. As always, those who can't use it productively end up ruining it for everyone. (Kinda like your locked thread, eh?) So it goes...
"I can respect that you have a different opinion than I do. I can respect your experiences, your beliefs, your ideas. I do not respect vicious attacks on posters ~ we are each entitled to our opinions ~ one opinion is no more wrong than another."
That is really good to remember!
Respect for Privacy is a problem also. You know, some posters here go to other boards and gossip about RT posters. Can you imagine that?
posted on April 3, 2001 07:16:33 PM new
In general I try to stay out of disputes and arguments on the boards, if I can avoid it. But in this case I do have to say that the last three of borillar's sandbox rules sure take a lot of the fun out of the sandbox!
posted on April 3, 2001 07:17:03 PM new
The subject you are talking about (the poster who isnt around anymore), could apply to many, so Im not sure which poster is being referenced. Isnt it the "norm" that blow outs result in someone leaving or thinking a friend was a friend? And yes, it is sad. But it can also be ugly sad. Thats why I agree with you, spaz.
edited to add "you"
[ edited by Hepburn on Apr 3, 2001 07:18 PM ]
posted on April 3, 2001 07:18:24 PM new
I've been hit by the Privacy Invasion (thank you ROXY) but as far as other boards go, I wouldn't know. I only post on AW.
posted on April 3, 2001 07:50:15 PM new
Not to mention that one needs to lower their vocabulary to include choice 4-letter words in a "hashing it out" forum.
posted on April 3, 2001 07:59:03 PM new
It's too bad things have to get nasty at times with name calling and all that junk. I can really see your points though....thanks for them!
P.S. This is OT, but did anyone catch the Sopranos last night? That was the most violent show they've had yet!
posted on April 3, 2001 08:03:31 PM new
Now it's going to drive me crazy until I figure out who the heck you were talking about, Spaz... and here I thought I was up-to-date on my reading.
Sheesh. Thanks. It's like trying to remember a song title or artist when you can't get the lyrics out of your head.
posted on April 3, 2001 08:12:39 PM new
ohmigod a hint. OK, thinking, thinking, you know so far I'm starting to think I'm really and truly not as up to date as you.
