posted on April 1, 2001 03:38:35 PM new
This is being talked about on a usenet group as if it were true. It couldn't possibly be correct, could it?
As AOL-Internet Split Approaches, It's All Calm On The Net
It has all the characters in an old western movie: the good, the
bad, and the just plain ugly.
Such is the cast of characters as the days count down to the
final exclusion of AOL Users from the rest of the Internet.
Effective April 15, 2001, AOL's network will finally become
completely separated from the Internet, making for something of a
showdown at the AOL corral. It's nothing less than a test of
wills on a grander scale than ever imagined.
"I really like AOL. I can shop and get forwarded jokes by
e-mail, get virus warnings, all that important stuff. I really
don't need the real Internet" said one AOL customer on Friday.
It's exactly that attitude that AOL management hopes will prevail
in this test of wills. AOL is counting on the support of its
members, asking them to warn their non-AOL family and friends
that they will no longer be able to e-mail them after April 15.
Some however, shout "monopoly!"
"It's anything but a monopoly. People will still be free to use
other Internet services if they choose" said an executive officer
of AOL. "Once they realize that they can no longer send mail to,
nor get mail from AOL users, we expect most, but certainly not
all, of them to switch to AOL. AOL is the Internet, always WAS
the Internet, and now, will forever BE the Internet" he added.
Among pioneers of the Internet, who generally saw the 'net as a
wild, free, uncensored medium beyond the control of any
government- much less a single corporation, views are mixed.
Some fear that AOL's gambit will pay off, causing most Internet
users- and the masses of web sites hosted by other companies- to
switch to AOL, thus destroying their dreams of a free,
non-corporate Internet. But that feeling is by no means
widespread.
"All I ever get from AOL accounts is jokes, massively forwarded
e-mails, junk mail, spam, get rich quick schemes, pyramid
schemes, and stupid questions. Good RIDDANCE!" said one computer
hobbyist with unrestrained joy.
On the flip side, most AOL users tend to view regular Internet
users as nerds, geeks, and hackers.
"They think they know everything," said one AOL customer, who
says she uses AOL to communicate with her family. "When I send
them virus warnings, and warnings about gang initiations and ways
to make big money surfing the net, they act like they're too good
to be bothered."
FACTS ABOUT THE SWITCHOVER:
SWITCHOVER DATE
The switchover will occur on April 15, at 00:01 GMT. It was
originally have occurred two weeks earlier, but granted an
extension to help people who needed additional time to get IRS
information before the tax deadline.
The IRS is not an AOL customer, and thus will not be reachable
from AOL on or after April 15. As one AOL executive said,
"people who wait till the last day to file, however, are in for a
wake up call, and we hope to capitalize on the publicity, albeit
negative, that will arise."
E-MAIL
No e-mail will be possible in either direction between AOL users
and non-AOL users after midnight on April 14.
Non-AOL users will not get an error, the e-mail inbound to AOL
users will simply be discarded by AOL's mail servers.
WEB SITES
The AOL web site ONLY will remain available to non-AOL customers
so that they can sign up for service,
AOL users can ONLY ACCESS AOL-CUSTOMER WEB PAGES. "No longer
will the Internet be such a big, confusing place for our users
because navigation within AOL is so easy. You don't even have to
think" said an AOL manager.
AIM
AOL Instant Messenger will still work for both AOL users and
non-AOL users. Only communication between them will not be
technically possible.
OTHER AOL SERVICES
All AOL services will be available, as normal, to customers.
UPDATES
No further announcements or warnings are being issued by AOL.
"Management generally believes that surprise will be to our
benefit," said one AOL employee, who asked not to be identified.
SWITCHING TO AOL
A special rate will be offered for the millions of new AOL
subscribers to ensure their smooth transition into AOL.
Management is still making final decisions about the changeover,
and have asked those with questions to wait until April 15, then
call for pricing or other information. Corporate customers
seeking to move their web sites to AOL's servers will get
priority, and all price information will be available on April
15.
posted on April 1, 2001 03:48:58 PM newE-MAIL No e-mail will be possible in either direction between AOL users and non-AOL users after midnight on April 14. Non-AOL users will not get an error, the e-mail inbound to AOL users will simply be discarded by AOL's mail servers.
The usenet is a bad place to get your news any day, on April 1st amplify that a few thousand times.
posted on April 1, 2001 04:15:45 PM new
No, can't be true.
But what a hilarious article, I'm cracking up! Someone has a creative mind and a great sense of humor to come up with that. And even more hilarious picturing people freaking out about it, believing it!
posted on April 1, 2001 04:32:16 PM new
Actually, I'm old enough to remember when AOL was a separate entity, and there was no internet yet. Everything was BBS'. You could still email back and forth.
posted on April 1, 2001 04:53:06 PM new
Awright Dman! Lets you and this granny grab our rockers and reminisce about the olden days some time! Dang this rheumatiz...
posted on April 1, 2001 05:23:20 PM new
That was a well-done one, with the best clue that it's a hoax being "AOL's network will finally become" instead of "once more be" because they were separate once and only grudgingly allowed emails, and then internet access, for their users.
They would close the gates in a heartbeat if they thought they could.
