posted on February 16, 2007 07:06:10 PM new
I like to shop local and went to my neighborhood RiteAid frequently. There is a clerk who I befriended about 6 years ago, she was in her thirties, enthralled that I had a baby in my forties, her husband had a brain tumor. I sympathized, he died. I came in just before closing one night and offered to drive her home during a huge rain shower. She became familiar to the point that I avoided the store for a while- have recently gone back. She kept bugging me for my RiteAid card so I signed up for one. Today she asked/told me that she had my phone number from the RiteAid application - was it OK if she called me? I nodded yes- now I am a little freaked out. How should I handle this?
posted on February 16, 2007 07:46:36 PM new
Is she "weird " in any way? She does have a steady job....'course she could tote around a chainsaw in her trunk but if she has a Bud 6-pack.....
Why not let her call and talk....she may be lonely, may just want a friend, maybe she just likes you because you've been kind and friendly....give her a chance...she may turn into a friend...
posted on February 16, 2007 09:42:43 PM new
I've befriended people like that in the past, and usually it's okay. But once or twice there's been someone I just had negative hunches about, so I'd take a long time to return phone calls and e-mails--a very long time--and explain that I'm terribly busy with not much time to spend outside of my work. If that didn't work, I stopped returning the phone calls.
When I was in politics, lordy I got a LOT of phone calls from very lonely people out there. I'd be polite and listen. But there was one fellow, a manic-depressive, VERY loud on the phone, very "wired," who called me every Sunday morning about 10 a.m. and would have liked to spend an hour or so with me on the phone. My dear husband volunteered to take those calls first; he'd listen for a few minutes and then take the number to give to me--and I'd go through the routine of not returning the calls. But he was persistent! When we moved to California, he found my phone number here and called a couple of times before finally disappearing from my life.
_____________________
Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. ~Dave Barry
posted on February 16, 2007 11:17:28 PM new
I think she's lonely & has taken a likeing to you, but I don't see where you feel the same.
I think you know right away if you would like to be friends with someone you just met & for you it doesn't seem to be there.
But, if you want to give it a try, just in case, why don't you meet at a mall & have dinner together, do a little shopping & see how that goes.
I put an add in a newspaper 20 years ago for a lost cat & the person who returned it to me has turned out to be my absolute best friend. We liked each other instantly & both of us knew we wanted to stay friends forever.
posted on February 17, 2007 01:05:44 AM new
"She became familiar to the point that I avoided the store for a while- have recently gone back"
Was there something about her that made you avoid her? I guess that information is needed before an opinion can be given out about the situation.
I know from selling online for many years, there are a LOT of lonely people out there. I try to avoid telephone conversations with my internet customers. I've had some people call just because there is someone on the other line. It isn't the same way with email, which is why that is best.
As far as strange people out there who might get your info (in real life or online) the best way to deal with this is to have a telephone number and address that doesn't ring through to your home. I use my UPS store address for everything, and my cel phone too. I simply don't answer a call on my cel phone that I don't recognize - I have a toll free business number that is attached to the cel phone for a different business, and I get a lot of people calling. I figure they can leave a message, and I can decide if it is someone I need to call back. I've never had a weirdo attach themself to me though, so that is good.
posted on February 17, 2007 10:04:20 AM new
It's not that there is anything really wrong with some of these people but be forewarned that some can be 'needy' friends so be prepared.
They can be very nice and enjoyable to visit with but can sometimes suck more of your time and energy than you can give.
posted on February 17, 2007 03:35:57 PM new
I'm weirded out because she did not ask me for my phone number - she took it from the information provided for the RiteAid "Club card" several months ago and saved it. When her husband was sick (it took him 2 years to die) I always remembered to ask how they were holding up because I knew she needed to unload. His death was a relief to her and she moved on quite quickly to new relationships. I was hoping we could get back to brief hellos and was just feeling comfortable enough to shop there again. She might just want something harmless like eBay advice but I get a shiver that this lady might not be safe.
posted on February 17, 2007 03:41:20 PM new
pixia.... i completely understand .... you DO and CAN get a "gut feeling" about people ... you apparently already feel like you wouldn't necessarily enjoy her as a "friend" on a regular basis, and that may very well be what she is 'hoping for' (but your gut feelings already tell you she's not your cup of tea) ....... my daughter had a wannabe friend like that about 2 years ago that just about stalked her! ... including her house, banging on the door for a more-than-reasonable amount of time .... that is just "not good" ... good luck to you w/ her; she may be harmless, but you would hope that by this point in time, she already had friends/and/family that would be helping her to move on, in you little community.
posted on February 17, 2007 03:41:59 PM new
I thought it was from a recent application (the number) but you have to go with your hunch on this, at least I would. I don't know about your town, but I have lots of choices here where to shop at places like Walgreens and Rite Aid - I would avoid that store and shop at others if possible. If you don't have caller ID, get it, or screen your calls. If you run into her, I would be nice, but just say you are so busy that there isn't much free time. If she is a wacko, that will be a lot better (in my opinion) than telling her not to call. Who knows, maybe she won't call, if she has had your number for months and she hasn't called, that is a good sign...Dangerous people don't care about boundaries, she had the number and did not call without asking.
posted on February 17, 2007 03:43:07 PM new
Y'know, thinking more about this problem you have--surely it must be illegal for a clerk to take personal information from a customer's credit-card purchase?! That's the part about this that would weird me out too.
At the very least, if this clerk becomes a real problem to you, I'd report her to the store manager.
_____________________
Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. ~Dave Barry
posted on February 17, 2007 04:02:52 PM new
I agree with Roadsmith. Sounds kinda creepy to me. I wouldn't like someone to do this to me. The very fact that you are telling EO about it gives me a sign you are uncomfortable about her taking that information from your application.
posted on February 17, 2007 07:26:40 PM new
Uh, you did offer her a ride home...customers don't usually do that....maybe that's where she got the idea you wanted to be friends.
Why don't you take mcjane's advice and have lunch with her to see if you really have anything in common....ya know, she may not like YOU and you won't hear from her again.....
posted on February 17, 2007 08:01:16 PM new
Thanks all, I decided to take the advice I gave my son - trust your instincts - if there's a person you don't feel safe with, it's OK to be rude - get away from them. Mingotree - you're right, I probably should have never offered a lift home. It was such a terrible night and she had to walk 6 blocks in the rain to light rail at 10 PM. It's a pity we can't offer one-time help and then walk away.
posted on February 17, 2007 11:18:07 PM new
I've been in customer service my whole life and early on I discovered just being nice while doing my job, lead some people to think I wanted to be their next best friend. Some customers (many of whom were elderly) would come in and "talk" to me until another customer would come in the door or the phone would ring. I was happy to talk to many of the elderly customers who were just lonely and want someone to talk to for a while, but there were always some people who wanted to push it further.
I'm by nature a reserved person and it takes me a while to form real friendships with people. I always try to be kind and polite, but I think friendships need time to build.
If I thought someone was a potential friend, I would give them my phone number and suggest if they ever want to have lunch to give me a call. I think it's a bit strange that someone one would use their job to obtain your personal information and then try to use it.
[ edited by greatlakes on Feb 17, 2007 11:19 PM ]
