Meya
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posted on August 28, 2001 05:55:48 PM new
It's been a long time since anyone has started a story. So, here goes:
Mr. Hilenbrand was angry. More angry than any person should ever have to be. "Those stupid people!" he thought to himself. It still hadn't ceased to amaze him that anyone would even consider attempting the type of thing they were doing.
As if erasing the deed from his mind could be accomplished in the shower, Russell turned on the water and grabbed his robe and towel. Just as he stepped into the steaming water, the phone rang...
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Microbes
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posted on August 28, 2001 05:59:49 PM new
The answering machine will get it he thought. so he finished his shower.....
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ashlandtrader
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posted on August 28, 2001 06:08:50 PM new
and as he climbed out he lost his balance and slipped on the cold linolium (sic?) floor. He twisted his right ankle. "#6$@#@%^%$#!!!", he yelled at the ceiling.
He could hear his wife saying something to the answering machine....
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kraftdinner
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posted on August 28, 2001 06:12:43 PM new
I wonder if she realizes I've fallen and can't get up, he thought to himself.
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saabsister
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posted on August 28, 2001 06:20:42 PM new
As he listened more closely, he could hear her yell at the machine, "Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! $300,000,00!!!"
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rancher24
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posted on August 28, 2001 06:23:54 PM new
"What do you mean, we OWE you $300,000,000!"
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jumpinjacko
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posted on August 28, 2001 06:47:22 PM new
The voice then again said... “At 11:15 bring the money in small
bills and go to the Mid Town Train Station ...platform B .....
and wait for the pay phone to ring”
.
EBAY ID
JUMPIN*JACK
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rawbunzel
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posted on August 28, 2001 06:57:36 PM new
Suddenly they both realized that the dog was missing!
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rancher24
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posted on August 28, 2001 07:00:38 PM new
"I REFUSE to pay that kind of money for the dog", she said....He replied....
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jenado
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posted on August 28, 2001 07:09:05 PM new
'Doggone it hon, let me get the shampoo out of my eyes and make sure I didn't break anything.. and we'll discuss this together calmly. After all, we DO have to remember that Yabe was there for us when.. '
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bunnicula
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posted on August 28, 2001 07:15:50 PM new
...we pulled off the heist at the First Savings & loan!
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Shadowcat
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posted on August 28, 2001 11:35:56 PM new
"All Yabe did was bite the security guard. The poor man got so flustered he shot himself in the foot," she said.
"Still, he wasn't shooting us."
"True." She frowned. "Why is your ankle turning purple?"
"I believe I have injured myself."
"Oh for heaven's sake. First the dog and now you!" She flounced out of the bathroom.
He reached out to grab the hem of her bathrobe to stop her long enough to remind her to call an ambulance. The robe's sash untied and the robe slid off her body.
She turned and glared down at him. "Now you've done it!"
He stared at her, aghast. There, on her belly, was a...
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bunnicula
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posted on August 28, 2001 11:52:25 PM new
...wire.
Russell cried,"My god! You're a Fed! How could you do this to me?!?"
Her lip curling, his wife Amy spat, "To you? It's always about you! I went to them when I found out that you were a..."
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misscandle
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posted on August 29, 2001 03:25:18 AM new
...Customer Service Rep at Yahoo! How could you?"
"But, honey, I only did it because..."
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godzillatemple
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posted on August 29, 2001 04:58:34 AM new
"...I was trying to conceal the fact that I'm actually an advance scout for an alien invasion fleet. My orders were to blend in as much as possible"
"An alien invasion fleet?" she gasped. "I don't suppose you mean you come from another country," she pondered hopefully.
"No, my dear," he chuckled evilly. "Not THAT type of alien."
Suddenly, to the vast suprise of both of them...
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rancher24
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posted on August 29, 2001 06:43:48 AM new
Bill Gates was standing in the hallway....
Russell fell to the floor and began to bow....
"Russell!" he shouted "you have compromised my plan to take over this planet"...."To infiltrate each & every home with a Windows based computer, and get these simple human creatures addicted to the lure of my WEB".
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bunnicula
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posted on August 29, 2001 07:14:28 AM new
"Master!" Russell whined. "Have mercy! I did as you asked--I did! I implanted the hypnotic desire to buy a PC with Windows in every..."
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sadie999
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posted on August 29, 2001 07:16:49 AM new
"...religious leader in the world, and I...."
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MrsSantaClaus
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posted on August 29, 2001 07:47:08 PM new
"even managed to get it into the President. Unfortunately, something went haywire. He acts like an imbecile! I don't know what went wrong ...."
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bunnicula
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posted on August 29, 2001 08:59:01 PM new
"You fool!" Bill Gates thundered. "You inserted Windows ME into a brain without the capacity to withstand the drain it causes on memory capacity!"
Viciously poking his finger at Russell, Gates shrieked "You have 24 hours to..."
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jamesoblivion
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posted on August 29, 2001 09:24:08 PM new
"...bury ebay, AOL, Linux and Rhode Island."
"But S-Sir" stammerred Russell..."
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zilvy
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posted on August 29, 2001 09:43:58 PM new
Russell talked with a limp.....and walked with a lisp...but he knew if he sunk Rhode Island there would be a lot of chickens taking the heat (Rhode Island Reds, that is)..So
[ edited by zilvy on Aug 29, 2001 09:45 PM ]
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bunnicula
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posted on August 29, 2001 09:46:04 PM new
...he quickly bought a KFC franchise...
[ edited by bunnicula on Aug 29, 2001 09:46 PM ]
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zilvy
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posted on August 29, 2001 10:11:25 PM new
Bill was not impressed and said to Russell, "it will be Xtra Crispy for you if you don't.........
[ edited by zilvy on Aug 29, 2001 10:12 PM ]
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misscandle
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posted on August 29, 2001 10:19:34 PM new
...give me some sugar, you big lug. I can't stay mad at you!" Bill kissed him, then walked out.
Russell's wife gave him a look. "Now, about the dog..."
[ edited by misscandle on Aug 29, 2001 10:20 PM ]
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kraftdinner
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posted on August 29, 2001 10:25:02 PM new
Suddenly, I woke up and realized I must've been dreaming. There's the dog, right beside the bed....or at least I think that's the dog....wait a minute!.....
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bunnicula
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posted on August 29, 2001 10:38:13 PM new
...dogs don't speak Chinese, so...
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MrsSantaClaus
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posted on August 29, 2001 11:39:06 PM new
... it must be that child that the man from the Chinese laundry had with one of the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz ....
"I knew that I should have kept those little people out of that laundry," she sobbed, "it is all my fault."
"What ever will I do now?"
[ edited by MrsSantaClaus on Aug 29, 2001 11:40 PM ]
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yeager
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posted on August 30, 2001 01:00:49 AM new
Russell informs his wife, "We have to make some phone calls quickly!" We have to call an attorney in case I really fall and can't get up. We'll sue our homeowners policy and have loads of money which we can spend on.............
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lswanson
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posted on August 30, 2001 08:53:26 AM new
...on Chinese takeout food and KFC. And we'll by our own damn laundry!
And with our newfound millions we can move to Texas and live next to Dubya.
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