zilvy
|
posted on September 2, 2001 10:12:49 AM new
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special.)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how...?)Kinda vague dontcha think?
On some Swann frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down."
(OOPS ---- Too Late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows the day...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what other uses?)
No more decorating the Missus and singing O'Tanenbaum, I guess!
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious - what other use???.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere???)There are a lotta loose cannons out there!! 
[ edited by zilvy on Sep 2, 2001 10:16 AM ]
|
bunnicula
|
posted on September 2, 2001 10:22:05 AM new
Yes, you gotta laugh. Unfortunately, idiotic warning labels are becoming increasingly necessary--to protect the companies.
About 5 years ago there was a report in the paper about a guy who sued the company that made his bicycle after he was hit by a car while riding it at night. Seems that nowhere on the box it came in (one of those put together jobbies, I guess) was there a warning that one should use lights if riding at night. And he WON!!!
|
sadie999
|
posted on September 2, 2001 10:29:27 AM new
"Do not iron clothes on body." <--my favorite. 
My mom told me she once read on a frozen dinner, "Take product out of cardboard box before putting in oven." This was pre-microwave days, so I guess people have been stupid forever.
|
Linda_K
|
posted on September 2, 2001 10:39:52 AM new
ROFLHO - Zilvy, where do you come up with these? Thanks for the laugh. Those are great!!
|
zilvy
|
posted on September 2, 2001 11:04:26 AM new
Hi LindaK fortunately I have a cadre of friends and acquaintances who help to keep me anchored with their never ending stream of humor. God bless laughter and the funny side of life!!
|
Meya
|
posted on September 2, 2001 11:17:48 AM new
From a label on a baby walker:
Remove baby before folding for storage.
I kid you not, this was a real warning label.
|
zilvy
|
posted on September 2, 2001 11:38:36 AM new
Meya
Following that trend I wonder if there is a label on a hide a bed, that says never fold until the last person is up!!
|
zilvy
|
posted on September 2, 2001 11:38:45 AM new
sorry double post!
[ edited by zilvy on Sep 2, 2001 11:39 AM ]
|
doxdogy
|
posted on September 2, 2001 06:21:21 PM new
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." <--- my favorite one.
|
outoftheblue
|
posted on September 3, 2001 12:00:44 AM new
Gee, I've never tried to stop a chain saw chain with my genitals before? I think I'll try it...
|
Shadowcat
|
posted on September 3, 2001 12:16:58 AM new
Remove baby before folding for storage.
The baby or the walker?
|
zilvy
|
posted on September 3, 2001 05:30:18 AM new
Shadowcat~ Have you taken Nytol? It does cause drowsiness & in some cases folded babies!!
[ edited by zilvy on Sep 3, 2001 06:26 AM ]
|
MurphyBird
|
posted on September 3, 2001 09:21:04 AM new
I remember one from a bicyle that you had to put together, it said "Assemble before riding". Hmm... the wheels were over there, the handlebars over there and most importantly the seat was over there!
|
zilvy
|
posted on September 3, 2001 09:33:55 AM new
Murphybird, Most Importantly YES!!
|
