posted on September 11, 2001 09:31:49 AM new
{{{Becky}}}
I hope the school sends them home with a note letting us know what was said to the students.
The last time the school "spoke to them" about Fire Safety, my oldest son was four.
He still has anxiety attacks at night fearing that he won't wake up or his brother won't or the dogs will burn. When he learned that his classroom was on the second floor this year (5 yrs later), he feared not being able to get out in time.
Being "gifted" is not always a Gift!
So much for the school's approach to dealing with crises.
posted on September 11, 2001 10:01:54 AM new
Zoomin'...That's an excellent question...My boys (8 & 11) will be home in a couple of hours & I haven't a clue on how to explain this to them. The mechanics are easy, hijacked planes, flown into buildings, buildings collapsed, hundreds of lives lost. WHY?....How do THEY feel safe again???......Poor little babes have to get a lesson in just how sick & twisted some people are in this world....
posted on September 11, 2001 10:08:11 AM new
I'm at a loss here. All interpretations, no matter what approach I take, seem to end up with "this is what you get for sticking up for others".
Definitely not what I want to teach them.
I've got the love, safety, and mechanical parts pretty well under control.
The how's and why's of this happening are still beyond explanation to me...
posted on September 11, 2001 10:22:06 AM newI've got the love, safety, and mechanical parts pretty well under control. The how's and why's of this happening are still beyond explanation to me... I suppose a straight presentation of the facts, along with our love & to listen to them & answer all questions best as we can will be the answer.
You can't hope to explain fanaticism to a child. I'm an adult and I don't begin to comprehend it. Ditto!
posted on September 11, 2001 10:27:07 AM new
There are many church services setting up here. I plan on finding one to take my children.
My girls, too, are gifted. What it really means is that their intellect is ahead of their emotional growth. It raises an entirely different set of problems.
I will probably start by explaining that not all people think like we do ... that although we highly value people and human lives, not all people do.
The biggest problem is this will be splashed all over the tv, so I cannot even skirt this issue ... I have to find a way to take it head on.
With the activity happening here, it will be much harder for me to keep my girl's sense of security alive.
In this instance, I am very fortunate to be able to draw on Gram's visits to Hayley .. and the fact that she watches over them and protects them from danger. Having her as a Guardian Angel will help.
posted on September 11, 2001 11:25:38 AM new
I thought about taking my 11yo daughter to her church. But I decided that this particular congregation tends to cry easily and I thought that it might be traumatic to expose her to that. So I think we will just watch the news together and I will tell her what I understand has happened.
posted on September 11, 2001 12:26:31 PM new
I called my daughter's school awhile ago to check on things. I live in a small town - the grade school, jr. and sr. highs are basically all in one building. While the jr. and sr. high students have been watching the coverage on TV, I was told that the grade school children haven't been told anything. The school is leaving that up to the parents.
posted on September 11, 2001 12:36:57 PM new
Be honest with your kittenss. They might not understand fanatics but they understand that the grownups are scared and hurting and that scares them.
You might not be able to explain about fanatics, but I bet your kittens would understand about mean people who want to hurt people just because they don't like the things we do(as Americans).
posted on September 11, 2001 12:37:25 PM new
Either call your local school to find out how they're approaching this with the children, or check your local newspapers online. Ours is running a special edition right now, and they covered an interview with the school superintendent.. as to how the local schools are dealing with this with the children.
By doing this, there won't be any surprises if you're not going to mention it to your 8YO and suddenly Johnny brings up the subject.
BTW: When OK City happened, mine were 6-8 and were on spring break. Needless to say, they saw me watching the news so I had to tell them because they saw mommie very upset. I found it easiest to explain it to them by being totally truthful. I explained it to them, exactly how I explain everything to them........ giving them the details in a way that they'll understand it. It's hard when they're young like that, but the most important thing you can do........ is be non-emotional about it. Because you need to concentrate on their needs and understanding mechanisms.. and it's much harder to do that when you're crying or emotional.
posted on September 11, 2001 12:54:31 PM new
As this horrid day played out, I found myself yearning to hop in the car and retrieve my almost-2yr-old from his babysitter, just to hold him in an effort to give myself some comfort. I called the sitter to find out how her day was going, if she had some outside contact other than a bunch of toddlers. She said a friend had called and told her something about it. She is from the Philippines and has been here for about 5 years, and the news didn't seem to impact her much. I decided that my son was much better off where he is rather than sense how upset I am. But every fiber in my being wants to be holding him - I'm going to find it hard to shove my anxieties down and present a calm mommy-front when I do pick him up (in just over an hour).
My heart goes out to those of you that have to try to explain this to the young and innocent.
posted on September 11, 2001 01:35:04 PM new
Found this article on AOL board - pasting here in full.. hope that it is acceptable - it may help some
Helping Your Children Cope with the News of Terrorist Attacks
by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P.
Today, our nation is reeling from the attacks on the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. When horrendous events like these occur, it not only leaves each and every adult shaken and mired in disbelief, it becomes impossible to shelter our children from the reality of what is happening. While we struggle to comprehend these awful events, it is important that we take into account our children's perspective and help them cope as well. No matter how upset we are by the grim reality that our country is not as safe as we would like to believe it to be, we have to offer our children some semblance of security in their world.
Steps parents can take
There are several steps parents can take to comfort their children and help them make some sense of the tragedy:
Personal safety and the safety of the people you love. Offer immediate reassurance in any way possible to make sure that your child knows that those people closest to him are OK. First, even though it may seem obvious, spell out to your child that the members of his immediate family--Mom, Dad, brothers and sisters--are all safe. This is essential even if you live nowhere near the site of one of the attacks. Next, reassure your child about other relatives--Grandma and Granddad, for example. Repeating the list of dear ones who are all right will be comforting for you and your children.
Structure. Try to maintain the daily schedule as best as you can. If you normally go to the park or drop your child off at preschool, do those things. A regular routine gives children a sense of structure and security.
Details and distance. Although you may feel a need to keep the television on to catch each unfolding event, for the sake of your young children, it's best to turn it off. Children (and all people) are more able to handle shocking news when it is not immediate in time, and when it is presented in print, rather than television.
People in charge. Let your child know that people in authority--the President, the mayor, teachers--are all making sure that everyone is going to be safe. Remind your child that you are also making sure that he is safe. That, after all, is your main job as a parent.
Maintaining perspective. If your child overhears that a plane has crashed or a building has collapsed, you can reassure him that almost all planes and buildings are still completely safe. These bad events only happened in a very few, specific places.
Awareness of emotions. Even if children are too young to fully understand what is happening as tragedy unfolds, from a very early age, they are acutely aware of the emotional state of their parents. As we adults try to process this tragedy, we must expect that our children, no matter how young, may show signs of distress in response--whether it is in the form of fussiness, fear, nightmares, or tantrums.
Patience. All parents have days when their patience wears thin and the normal level of whining, fussing, and tantrums is enough to make them lose their cool. Today, as all of us are faced with a national tragedy, the anger, anxiety, and fear we may be feeling can further fray our nerves. But we can't give into these understandable emotions when we're around our children--they need us to be calm, controlled, reassuring, and patient.
Mutual support. It's very important to pay attention to our own levels of stress and shock. If you feel, as many of us do, a sense of unreality or being dazed, or if you feel a physical response to the news--tenseness in the chest, for example--these are normal and expectable responses to the tragedy. As soon as you can, find a friend, relative, or colleague, and talk about your feelings--and listen in turn to theirs. Getting this support for yourself is crucial, so that you will be able to be calm and confident with your children.
posted on September 11, 2001 01:54:21 PM new
I was shocked at what happenned at my children's schools. Official announcements had the schools closing 1/2 hour early. In practice the schools were evacuated in chaos and pandemonium at about noon. I am disappointed that greater calm and sanity did not prevail.
posted on September 11, 2001 03:41:40 PM new
RoseBids25cents...thanx for the article...
My boys are home. Parents were picking up their kids all day (personally I thought that would just make them more paniced)the 6th grader's teacher explained what happened to them. He's pretty level headed, so handling it ok. My poor little one sat in his classroom, watching 16 kids (outta of about 24) get picked up, and no one said anything to the remaining kids. He didn't know why everyone was going home until he got to the bus & then the older kids were talking about it. We sat & watched the TV reports for awhile, I explained what happened. The 11 year old is ok, the 8 year old is confused. Will take him some more time to deal with it all. Same as the rest of us I'm sure.
posted on September 11, 2001 03:56:36 PM new
Thank You, Rosebids. Good info.
At my house:
Round One over: The boys seem okay.
We talked about it a bit.
We did homework.
We talked some more.
My 7 YO was under the impression that the school will probably be bombed and he won't have to go tomorrow.
I have no clue what info he translated into that, we're in Florida!
Round Two:
What their little brains focus on before they go to bed?
Those thoughts are usually more intense than during the day.
I hope I can give them the peace that they need.
Best of Luck to all of you!
{{{big hugs}}}
posted on September 11, 2001 04:08:19 PM new
I don't know how old most of the posters here are, but I was 8 when President Kennedy was killed. My mother cried all day. If she was scared, I didn't pick up on that - only that she was sad.
Your kids will be ok. Mostly kids look to you for their protection - the bigger world is sort of abstract. This may not apply to kids in Manhattan.
