posted on November 4, 2001 02:42:11 PM new
The Republic of Uzbekistan reiterated its support for the U.S.-led coalition against terrorism today, but refused to allow U.S.O. headliner Wayne Newton to perform anywhere within its borders.
The foreign ministry of Uzbekistan issued a tersely worded statement which seemed to indicate that their thumbs-down decision on Wayne Newton was irrevocable.
"While the government of Uzbekistan enjoyed 'Danke Schoen' and some of his early hits, we have found Mr. Newton's Vegas act to be tacky, tired, and uninspired," the official Uzbek statement said.
"In particular," the statement continued, "the government of Uzbekistan cannot and will not condone Mr. Newton's rendition of 'Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.'"
A source close to the Uzbekistan government said that the Uzbeks would agree to allow such entertainers as Tony Orlando, Rich Little, or even the comedian Gallagher to appear in Uzbekistan, "but not Wayne Newton."
"They've really got this thing about him," the source added.
At the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld attempted to downplay the Newton-Uzbekistan flap.
"In this coalition, different partners will be doing different things," Rumsfeld said. "Some will be doing things you can see, and others will be doing things you can't see. Some will be offering troops, and others will be offering intelligence. Some will allow Wayne Newton to perform, and others will not. Uzbekistan, clearly, will not."
Pentagon sources hinted that the Administration is currently attempting to convince another coalition partner, Tajikistan, to allow Wayne Newton to perform on its soil, but at the present time,
"it doesn't look good."
posted on November 4, 2001 04:49:13 PM new
Good Taste Ruins Coalition.
Is there a difference between Wayne Newton and Tony Orlando?
They both rate a 10 on my blechability scale.
Maybe just play the Jim Croce version of Bad Bad Leroy Brown?
If I had my own country, I would ask Richie Havens to be the official musician. I'd even put him on a stamp. You have the right to an informed opinion -Harlan Ellison
posted on November 4, 2001 05:22:12 PM new
Well, maybe we could just rig up loudspeakers across the Afghani countryside and play Tie A Yellow Ribbon 24/7 until the Taliban runs screaming for the hills. Might even make Bin Laden give himself up in desperation. Who knows? Stranger things have happened.
posted on November 4, 2001 05:53:17 PM new
Remember the kid who was charged with playing rap music too loud? The judge saved him 500.00 by sentencing him to listen to Wayne Newton for 2 hours. Maybe the Uzbeks would prefer a rapper.
posted on November 4, 2001 07:02:59 PM new
I confess, I actually went to see Wayne Newton the first time I went to Vegas.
No one could understand why in the world I wanted to go see him; it's just my perversity, I had to do the yuckiest, most Vegas-y type thing. Since I was already married, a fake-Elvis wedding was out. That left Wayne.
My long-suffering husband took me. We were the only under-60's there. It was as bad as you'd expect, and I would have loved it, but... he didn't sing "Danke Schoen!!" Boy, was I pissed.
And I was pissed even more when I heard that, during the recount, he went to Florida to do a show for the Republican crew down there on Thanksgiving and did sing "Danke Schoen" for them. That bastard.
posted on November 4, 2001 07:21:01 PM new
I wish I had. At around 30, I stuck out like a sore thumb, and those geezers were giving me the evil eye, like they expected me to start raising a ruckus or lighting my lighter or smoking a joint at the table. Now, 10 years later, I'd have to trowel on the make-up and hope for dim lighting to look younger than them.
