posted on February 14, 2002 11:09:19 AM new
I am not really seeking advice or anything, I just need a place to vent and I know that there are a lot of great people here at AW, so I figure you all won't mind too much. Last week a little 3 year old neighbor girl died in a fire and I have been grieving hard ever since. It brings up my son's death all over again. My heart really hurts for her family.
It has been 3 1/2 years since Dylan died and most days I can cope and act fairly normal and nobody realizes my loss, but this week I just took a big step backwards and am feeling it all over again. I just can't stand that he is gone. He should be here asking questions and making huge messes and all of the good stuff. My husband and I were just talking this morning about it and he started crying too. It is just so hard.
All week I have been running around in circles trying to get little things done and really haven't accomplished much of anything. I know that it is just my old companion grief again-- but I can't help but wish that I was better at dealing with it. Maybe this is just the best that I can do and I should accept that.
Anyway if my cyber friends could take a minute today to say a little prayer for Ashley's family today I think that would be very kind. (for us non religious people, maybe think a few kind thoughts for them instead?) Her little sister (16 months) was injured in the fire, but is doing well now. Her mom is just 25-- I just feel so lousy for her today.
Cherish your family!
Thanks for listening to me ramble.
Edited just because I forgot to mention that her funeral is today (valentine's day).
[ edited by ashlandtrader on Feb 14, 2002 11:12 AM ]
posted on February 14, 2002 01:37:57 PM new
I can only imagine the grief parents must go though with the loss of a child. But,I know I would be devasted.
That family and you will be in my thoughts. My heart breaks for all of you.
posted on February 14, 2002 04:17:35 PM new
I very rarely get a chanceor the time to come to the round table, tonight I am glad I did, I have already said a prayer. my thoughts are with all of you.
Reenie
posted on February 14, 2002 05:59:55 PM new
ashlandtrader, my heart goes out to you.
I do know what you are feeling. Our son was 14 when he broke his neck in an accident. he lived for 19 days totally paralyzed from the neck down, before he died.
That was in 1976 and the pain still comes, the memories are always there, but it is better.
my husband and I were not religious people, but we did believe in god. if you ask him he will help your pain, I promise.
I will pray for Ashleys parents and if you don't mind I will pray for you too.
posted on February 14, 2002 08:07:39 PM new
Thanks everyone, especially you rarrifle. Although I wish that had never happened to your son and you didn't know this kind of pain. You are in my thoughts too.
I wish I could believe in god-- I guess I do believe in something, but I am still too angry to go there yet. I hope that will straighten itself out in time too. I used to have faith, so your prayers are appreciated anyway.
Take care all and thanks again for giving me the space to let some of this go.
posted on February 14, 2002 11:43:25 PM new
I don't know if this will help you, because I haven't lost a child.
The ability to grieve, horrid as it is, is a mark of our humanity. If you weren't a truly human being in the best sense of the word, you couldn't grieve as you do.
posted on February 14, 2002 11:58:38 PM new
I do not beleive in church, but I do pray to God. I am the daughter of a preacher and that turned me off to churches. It was nothing he did just the people of the church. My daughter lost a baby at 21 months. When the nurses were taking care of her I held my grandbaby for 20 minutes intil he passed they said he was to little to help. His short life had a positive effect on me. I miss what could have been, but when I held him and kissed him I felt god.
