posted on November 26, 2002 11:06:35 PM new
Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A new date rape drug on the market, called "beer," is used by females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form, and is now available almost anywhere. "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several "beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking "beer," men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." Apparently men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female. Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.
posted on November 27, 2002 03:00:43 PM new
This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was
"BestComeback Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old whitemale,
resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. onFriday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public
indecency,
and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided
to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was
no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he
stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes,
cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just
really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett
County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for
sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just
working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that
you are screwing a pumpkin?'
"He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then
looked me straight in the face and said,
"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"
.................................................
We call them our heroes...but we pay them like chumps
posted on November 30, 2002 07:39:14 PM new
A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that relieving themselves before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.
The man decided, "What the heck, I'll try it."
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan.
On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to relieve himself. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to fulfillment, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.
Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the fulfillment, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."
