As I said in my last e-mail, either ya comply with them resolutions I sent ya or face serious consequences. Now, there seems to be some confusion over what them consequences may be. So here are just some of the consequences Dick, Condoleeza and me came up with last night.
You must hand over Tariq Aziz's moustache to its rightful owner, Snidely Whiplash.
You must join U.N. inspectors and the Iraqi parliament in singing “We Are The World”
You must change your name to Saa-daam Who-sane so that it comes closer with my pronunciation of it.
You must leave open the possibility of staying in power another thirty years so Jenna will have an issue to deal with when she is president.
You must listen to the entire recording of Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem at a San Diego Padres game.
You must disclose your top secret Iraqi state humous recipe to Martha Stewart.
You must agree to point your weapons of mass destruction at the real enemy -- France.
You must cause trouble closer to presidential elections so I don't have to campaign on domestic issues in 2004.
