posted on March 17, 2003 03:27:53 PM new
Dear Ma and Pa,
Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they get warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc..., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes,ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.
I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get into this setup and come stampeding in.
posted on March 17, 2003 07:37:43 PM new
Bear, LOL!
Here's my contribution:
The governors of Alabama, South Carolina, Arkansas, Georgia, and Mississippi announced today that they have made a disturbing discovery in their states. Apparently, a small number of Al Qaeda terrorists have become romantically involved with local redneck girls.
The result is not pretty and they now have the sad task of reporting the creation of a new sector of the human race: Islamabubbas.
So far, only a smattering of actual births have been reported, but Pat Robertson's Christian Coalition is hard at work trying to isolate and seal them off.
To date, the Coalition has identified the
following children:
* Mohammed Billy Bob Abba Bubba
* Mohammed Jethro Bin Thinkin Boudit
* Mohammed Forrest Gumpa Bubba
* Mohammed Rubba Dub Dubba Bubba
* Bobbie Joe Bubba Amgood Atat
* Betty Jean Hasbeena Badgurl
* Linda Sue Bin There Dundat
Not surprisingly, the Coalition believes they all seem to have sprung from one couple: ... Mohammed Whoozyodaddy and Yomamma Bin Lovin.
