posted on April 13, 2003 03:21:15 PM new
Hi, all. We just got home from a trip, and a friend had sent me these late-night jokes. In case you haven't all seen them. . . .
BUZZFLASH NEWS ANALYSIS
BuzzFlash Note: This collection of jokes was compiled by Daniel
Kurtzman and can be found, with updates, here:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bliraqwarjokes.htm.
"President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a
bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the
economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this
movie, haven't I?" -- Jay Leno
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN
to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the
approval of the American voters to become president, either." --
David Letterman
"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of
Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine,
supplies, housing, education – anything that's needed. Isn't that
amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda – and it's for
Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out." -- Jay Leno
"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and
that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy,
they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and
fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida." -- Jay Leno
"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget
creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly
responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'" -- Craig
Kilborn
"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of
mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading
Iraq. There's just one problem -- it's in North Korea." -- Jon Stewart
"War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom.
They were going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they
realized that spells 'OIL.'" -- Jay Leno
"CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into
three parts ... regular, premium and unleaded." -- Jay Leno
"Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the
weekend. See, President Bush may be the smartest military president
in history. First, he gets Iraq to destroy all of their own weapons.
Then he declares war." -- Jay Leno
"Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the
Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you
can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its
name is." -- Jon Stewart
"The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow
'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular." -- Jay Leno
"The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we
have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You
know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that
you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are
Britain and Spain." -- Bill Maher
"Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much
as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free." -- Jay
Leno
