posted on April 22, 2003 04:32:43 AM new
Got this from a friend. Thought all would enjoy:
...some new, some old...but I thought all of the Mom's would appreciate it anyway...
My Mom taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning!"
My Mom taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My Mom taught me about TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My Mom taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."
My Mom taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
My Mom taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."
My Mom taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My Mom taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My Mom taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
My Mom taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My Mom taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"
My Mom taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times... Don't Exaggerate!!!"
My Mom taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world and I can take you out."
My Mom taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE
My Mom taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"
posted on April 22, 2003 06:06:46 AM new
LOL...yes these are always good for a chuckle or two.
My Mom taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
Each time I've read this one, I believe the writer had a mother who was a nurse who also worked in a hospital emergency room. Mine did...and she always use to say that to me....except my mother also emphasized no 'holes' in the underwear either. Like if I'm laying on a gurney bleeding to death that should be my first concern.
Mother's Day is fast approaching. Hope those lucky enough to still have their Mother's around are looking for ways to say "Thanks Mom, for all you've done."
The question is not what a man can scorn, or disparage, or find fault with, but what he can love, and value, and appreciate. J. Ruskin
posted on April 22, 2003 08:07:56 AM new
I always laugh when I read the one about wearing clean underwear. If your are in an accident bad enought to have to go to the ER, your once clean ones, aren't anymore.
posted on April 22, 2003 01:44:57 PM new
My baby brother is 10 years younger than me. When he was 24, he had a car accident. His injuries required him to be transferred to Los Angeles for surgery. Mom and I followed the ambulance for 3 hours. When we arrived at the hospital around midnight, we were in the emergency room with him. I leaned down and said, "Rob, do you have clean underwear on?".
posted on April 22, 2003 02:13:01 PM new
I always liked, "Wait 'til your father gets home." Nothing like making your children afraid of their father. My father was always too tired when he got home from work to do much about anything. It's too bad we cannot appreciate our mothers when we are young, especially girls. I wish I could take back every mean thing I ever said (to this day I can still taste the soap), ever thought (how is it that they can read your mind?), and the many, many eye rolls ( "Don't you roll your eyes at me, young lady." ) because I think that's why I now wear bifocals. I wore my eyes out. LOL.
Mothers' Day is coming up and those of us who are blessed enough to still have our mothers around should remember that although she could terrorize you out of your skin when you were young, she did it all out of love. "Mom, I know you love me but I'm 46 now could you just love me a little less, please?" I guess to Moms we never grow up. Just the other day she told me not to "sass" her. Oh, brother.
For those who are missing their mothers this Mothers' Day, keep her always in your heart and on your mind. She'll never be far from your side. God bless you.
Cheryl
[ edited by CBlev65252 on Apr 22, 2003 02:14 PM ]
posted on April 22, 2003 03:55:04 PM new
Valleygirl - I leaned down and said... LOL bet that probably made him laugh - even in his pain.
Cheryl - LOL...I remember doing the same. Rolling the eyes.
One of the things I find amusing, at this stage of my life, is listening to my girlfriends [retirement age and beyond] talking about how the mother-daughter rolls have reversed. They often [jokingly] complain that their daughters are treating them like they're not capable of making an independent decision. Like children. Always questioning different decisions they're making, etc. Not having a daughter, I love listening to them go on about how their daughters are 'becoming' so bossy, telling them what to do ALL the time. I tell them "it's pay back time".
The question is not what a man can scorn, or disparage, or find fault with, but what he can love, and value, and appreciate. J. Ruskin
Cheryl
Not having a daughter, I love listening to them go on about how their daughters are 'becoming' so bossy, telling them what to do ALL the time. I tell them "it's pay back time".