posted on August 18, 2003 02:51:54 PM new
Please help me, I don't know where else to turn. I was informed there is a collective group of true American Patriots still left and they are gathering daily on this cyber chat forum. What I am about to tell you puts me in grave danger but I must tell someone. I am typing this bound and gagged in an hidden CIA office. I managed to untie myself using my acylic nails and a paperclip I found on the floor and hid in my sleeve.
I said outloud at church function that I couldn't make up my mind about homosexuality. Like on one hand I know there are babies born with both male and female genetalia so I could understand bisexuality but not purely homosexuality, does that make sense? my preacher got mad at me reported me to Mr. Asscroft. They swoomped down on me. They surrounded my ford pinto and demanded by sequined wal mart hand bag. I was forced into a plain white unmarked car. I thought my husband had left another one of his damn roaches in my ashtray but alas if only it had been that simple.
I have to type fast. The hairy CIA man stripped searched me. I was utterly humilated but kinda turned on at the same time. I am so confused.... I was taken to a special holding area for women with big mouths but no big hair. Small mouth big hair is the desired combo of the new American womanhood. I am going to sent to a reeducation camp where I will learn how to sew, cleverly use a crock pot, limit my time out of the house for only the most dire tasks such as grocery shoppping.
Please help me, they will insert the chip into me tommorrow. Its at least eight inches long or longer. OOOPS HERE is comes oh knoww
posted on August 18, 2003 02:56:30 PM new
Hi, orleansgallery! Long time, no hear from. Big hair? Thought that went out in the 1980's. At least I had hoped that it did. It's okay to be undecided about homosexuality. Shows your mind has not been sewn shut by the remaining American Patriots.
Cheryl
Power to the people. Power to the people, right on. - John Lennon
posted on August 18, 2003 03:12:42 PM new
You were turned on when you were strip-searched by a hairy CIA guy who wants to insert an 8" chip into you tomorrow, and you call ME paranoid.
posted on August 18, 2003 03:17:51 PM new
I'm back, he put the chip in. I feel so dirty. I have never been chipped before. I turn red when I exhale. Its annoying, humilating, the new Scarlet Letter. I overheard them talking, I can't type here long they may catch me again. They gave me a plate of ho hos' and ding dongs and some donald duck orange juice after they chipped me. They said no one will ever believe me and the best thing about a conspiracy story is its a conspiracy story and people won't believe me.
BUT I KNOW YOU GOOD LEFTIST LIBERALS WILL HELP ME! please help me. Anne Coulter is a clone. Please believe me. Bill O'reilly is the head of the female republican clone division. They are going to make me one tommorrow. PLEASE ALERT DRUDGE NOW!
posted on August 18, 2003 03:18:43 PM new
LOL - This reminds me of the old 'continuation' threads. Where one person started a story then another poster followed along behind adding their couple of paragraphs and the story continued on....constantly changing. Some were pretty funny.
posted on August 18, 2003 03:38:04 PM new
Wow, your posts do sound drastically different. Red when you exhale? For crying out lout - DON'T EXHALE! Give Avlimil a try. You might find yourself liking hairy men . In fact, you may find you like every man you meet. Big men, small men, hairy men, shaven men. Men with hair on their heads, men with hair on their backs. Men, men, men.
No, I have no chip in my head although members of my family may disagree!
Cheryl
Power to the people. Power to the people, right on. - John Lennon
posted on August 18, 2003 03:56:26 PM new
I think you've been duped orleansgallery. That hairy man wasn't CIA, it was Bush! (He's part monkey underneath his expensive suits.) And that wasn't an implant, it's what Bush calls being liberated, so of course you feel dirty, but stay on those anti-depressants - Bush will need those big company votes soon.
posted on August 19, 2003 08:31:14 AM new
TRANSMIT!!!!!! HELP ME!!!! this is serious, I have made my way to the computer again! They are going to make sure I meet the female standards for FAIR AND BALANCED! this is a new republican media spawned term that seems to have terrible implications if used in any "unholy" way.
These people from the goverement do not fear anything on earth and plan to conquer every nation but they do have one achellies heel - THEY HATE SATIRE! they are desperately afraid of anyone who can make people laugh at them!
This is serious folks DO NOT LAUGH AT ANY POLITICAL JOKES! DO NOT READ POLITICAL SATIRE OR CARTOONS IN YOUR NEWS PAPER---Fox news is going to end the comic pages. It has been said that this nation has become a land of wise guys and they are tired of these jokesters and they threaten national security by laughing, ridiculing, or mocking any republican goverment offical. They are especially sensitive about republican hair cuts.
I repeat, be warned and stay sober and serious, you too could be chipped!!!
they caught me! write a letter tells someone to save me!
DELETE DELETE DELETE
[ edited by orleansgallery on Aug 19, 2003 08:34 AM ]
posted on August 19, 2003 03:51:17 PM new
Beware of being probed, there is a rumor of Liberals dressing up as hairy CIA agents & really getting into their work.
