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 BEAR1949
 
posted on October 9, 2003 09:27:07 AM new
1.Can you cry under water?

2.How important does a person have to be before he is considered assassinated, instead of just murdered?

3 If money doesn't grow on tree$, then why do bank$ have branches$?

4.Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

5.Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

6 Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in, for eternity?

7.Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

8.What did cured ham actually have?

9.How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

10.Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

11.If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

12.If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

13.Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

14.Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

15.How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

16.Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

17.If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

AND FINALLY...

18. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?




“The last hope of human liberty in this world rests on us.” ~ Thomas Jefferson
 
 Linda_K
 
posted on October 9, 2003 09:29:57 AM new
thanks, bear. funny.


5.Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? TAXES

 
 Dragonmom
 
posted on October 9, 2003 11:58:43 AM new
I can tell you why trousers and pants are plural!
waaaay back when, you willl shudder to know this, you men all walked around with your family jewels hanging out in the breeze. Actually, you wore a long shirt which more or less covered things. On your legs you wore stockings, which you tied with string to keep up, and through the years the stockings got long enough to reach your hips, and each one tied around your waist. At some point- about 1400 AD, actually, probably during an extra cold winter- some genius tailor had the idea of wrapping extra fabric around as well- and the Trousers was invented. Each trouser covered one leg, get it? it's a plural garment!
The Pope issued an edict saying that a covered bum was unhygenic and ungodly. In those days before Scott Tissue, it sure was- and for many hundreds of years more there was still a gap in between those pants legs which was covered by a clever (and decorative) gadget called a codpiece, precursor to the fly... It all got sewn together maybe during the 1600's I'd have to google and I'm running out of steam here...
The Bra was invented by a frenchie named Brassier, and came late enough on the timeline to get shortened to Bra- and recognised as a singular item....




"And All Shall be Well, and All Shall be Well, and All Manner of Things Shall be Well"
 
 Linda_K
 
posted on October 9, 2003 03:24:15 PM new
Very informative, dragonmom. Thank you. And you worded the 'personal issues' so delicately.
 
 ebayauctionguy
 
posted on October 9, 2003 03:53:26 PM new
If we evolved from apes, then why are there still apes?


 
 davebraun
 
posted on October 9, 2003 04:53:15 PM new
We are an evolutionary failure. The earlier model survived.


Republican, the other white meat!
 
 Dragonmom
 
posted on October 9, 2003 04:53:28 PM new
ebay guy are you asking that as a real question?
because the answer is that apes and humans all evolved from the same ancestor. There are very few Ape species alive at this time, and only one Human species, no matter what the "White Power" fools want to believe. This is, unfortunately, a sign of a non-viable genus- a really good family tree has lots and lots of species. Like, you know, canids, felids, or bovids.
There have been , by the way, many humanid species but only one survived. Luckily, we are able to harbor enough genetic diversity within our species to make us hardy- what kills off one group, like for instance the Black Plague, will not decimate another group.
The Cheetah, for some reason has very very little genetic diversity. It looks like the entire species arose from perhaps a group of maybe four or five animals! If any viral illness ever attacks them it could potentially kill every single Cheetah on this planet. What a shame that would be!

"And All Shall be Well, and All Shall be Well, and All Manner of Things Shall be Well"
 
 Twelvepole
 
posted on October 10, 2003 05:52:04 AM new
We are an evolutionary failure

Only if you are a same sex deviant...


AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
 
 Dragonmom
 
posted on October 10, 2003 09:19:48 AM new
twelvepole, you are confusing evolution with procreation. Related, but different things...
Poor Bear! He just wanted us all to have a chuckle!
"And All Shall be Well, and All Shall be Well, and All Manner of Things Shall be Well"
 
 Helenjw
 
posted on October 10, 2003 09:27:12 AM new

"chuckle"

wassat?





 
 colin
 
posted on October 10, 2003 06:21:05 PM new
Why is an orange, orange?

Amen,
Reverend Colin

 
 Helenjw
 
posted on October 10, 2003 08:25:57 PM new

An orange is orange because of the wave length of reflected light.

 
 Dragonmom
 
posted on October 11, 2003 08:25:17 AM new
the hyperdictionary says;
"An orange is the fruit of an orange tree, one of the most common citrus fruits, widely grown in warmer climates, and distributed worldwide. Oranges are orange in color Ð the color is named for the fruit, not the other way around. .... The fruit originated in India (some say Viet Nam) and was called na rangi in Sanskrit. The na rangi or naranja was translated as "norange", and in English usage a norange was back-formed into the more acceptable an orange. The same thing happened in French and Italian, but in Spanish it is still naranja....

Sanskrit, you know, *of Course*, is the "Mother Tongue" that most of the european languages stem from.
Good question! LOL






"And All Shall be Well, and All Shall be Well, and All Manner of Things Shall be Well"
 
 Helenjw
 
posted on October 11, 2003 09:11:24 AM new

I should have known that you would complicate the issue.

LOL!

 
 Dragonmom
 
posted on October 11, 2003 09:40:01 AM new
lol!
sorry Helen, for some reason my schoolmarm button got stuck! Language is a kind of hobby for me.
I really think it's cool that we are using a word that has been around for more than 6 thousand years.

"And All Shall be Well, and All Shall be Well, and All Manner of Things Shall be Well"
 
 Helenjw
 
posted on October 11, 2003 10:20:54 AM new

Cool dictionary!...I like the computer definition...RAM...Rarely Adequate Memory.



 
 dodobird
 
posted on October 11, 2003 11:13:12 AM new
i just laid an egg !

 
 Helenjw
 
posted on October 11, 2003 12:19:45 PM new

The dodo bird shall rise again!

 
 colin
 
posted on October 12, 2003 07:00:04 AM new
Thanks Dragonmom, This question has bothered me for years.

Reverend Colin
http://www.reverendcolin.com

Rt. 67 cycle
http://www.rt67cycle.com


 
 Twelvepole
 
posted on October 14, 2003 08:47:54 AM new
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there. I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."


If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
 
 Dragonmom
 
posted on October 14, 2003 11:31:00 AM new
Twelve, those are good! LOL


"And All Shall be Well, and All Shall be Well, and All Manner of Things Shall be Well"
 
 
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