posted on October 28, 2003 09:51:37 PM new
Militant Extremists Crushed as Chuck Douglas’Zeta’Jones is Unanimously Declared 1st Global Emperor; In Closed Ballot of Heads from Global Oil Council. As predicted by 98.75% of Hollywood & Popular press.
Legal Retirement Age Increased to 84 as Avg. Natn’l Age Now Hits 63.
L.AAP (Lazing and aging population) Demands Fee Free Day Trips To Encourage Mexican Itinerant Day workers.
Proposed Earth’s Axis Adjustment; Is Guaranteed to Stabilise Seasonal Instability and Thereby Stabilise Food Production.. Top Financial Analysts Say “NO: It’s a dangerous move”; because removal of OJ Investment Speculation may harm the California economy.
Local SS to investigate suspicious disappearance of 15 recently graduating ‘left wing’ screenwriters.
Voting To Become Compulsory.
Supreme Court Judge; Reverend Father McSmyth’Smyth’Robinson Rules that Full Citizenship Voting Rites are not valid if Net Annual Income is not 675% above National mean average.
Medical Breakthrough.
Surgeons can now do speedy cancer removals at 1/4 time on 97.5% of Players during Major League National Games in 1min.22sec.
AMA Snubs claims that the cancers are as a direct result of growth hormones.
Growing Demands for reintroduction of last years removal of crucifixions as a deterrent to breaches of 7th Day Violations.
A recent SMS Poll showed that 97.5 of people supported crucifixion of those working on the Sabbath; if available to view online.
Temperate region inhabitants pleased that Diflurodichloromethane filled condoms will be used to plug the ozone hole, and facilitate global cooling system.
Thanks to increased Funding, National Public School Average IQ; Hits 7 Year High; at 68pts.
posted on October 29, 2003 01:47:39 AM new
kraftdinner, I don't know if it's expulsive or retentive but I do so enjoy attention.
You have complemented me on more than one occasion recently, and I must warn you;
I’m beginning to develop a distinct attraction to you.
Politicians Go on Strike as demands are made by political extremists for MP’s to have Productivity linked pay rises.
Little known 100Year old Movie Star, Marilyn Monroe, Poster:
Sells at Sotheby’s For 58Euros
Charles Manson Philanthropic Organisation to Co-Found Visionary Christian School.
Winter Attack On Russian Front Results in High Collateral Losses. Who Could Have Guessed Ranked By Value 6,000 Drones 5,200,000 Unmanned Aircraft 8,800 Light arms (50 Recovered)
……….7,700, Officers Uniforms
……….1,100, Grunt Uniforms
8,750 Social Animals
Hawaii To Host Winter Olympics.
GreenPeace To Clone G.W.Bush Cells For Judgment, Sentence & Execution in Texas.
In Spite Of Secret Letters Found. Defence Council Says “ Sentencing Judge Failed to Give Due Consideration To Our Request For Just a Little More Time To Find WOMD in Former Republic Of Iraq.”
Genetic Diversity Alive And Well:
Ancient Species Found In Dry Oil Well: Geneticists have Dubbed Species With Strange Name…FROG.
posted on October 29, 2003 02:07:42 AM new
US Humanitarian Aid Is Projected To Be EURO173Trillian For Palestine Next Year.
UN Says Palestinian Settlers MUST Stop Cruel Apartheid Dome Aimed At Israelis.
(Israel Not Recognised By MSWord42)
posted on October 29, 2003 04:11:57 PM new
"recognized by the U.N. as being as useful as A PLUNGER IN A OUTHOUSE"
That’s rather humorous bear; you are awarded the most consistent Player Prize.
Keep up the effort.
Was The 3rd Grade, The Best 5 Years of Your Life???
posted on October 29, 2003 05:19:05 PM newMore proof that symbolism is lost on graduates of the sad modern educational system.
Jealous? You neo-cons always go after the intellectuals. Like your hat.
posted on October 29, 2003 09:45:32 PM new
Jan 17th 2043
API
George W Stroker Bush the 5th vows to continue hunt for WOMD's. Blames 40 year delay on finding evidence of their existence on faulty intelligence reports. Request 7.3 trillion dollars to continue search for the next 6 months.
Heirs of Enron fortune settle with California for $2.79. Terms of the settlement do not include an admission of any wrong doing or apology.
Guiness Book of records recognizes Osama Bin Laden as fugitive on the run for the longest number of years in spite of $25,000,000.00 reward being doubled.
posted on October 29, 2003 11:13:10 PM new
Last Sun Tan Machine Sold 9Months Ago:
Same results can be achieved after standing naked outdoors for 11.3 Seconds.
New Born Avg. Right Click Finger; now 11_7/16” Long.
Unions Rejoice at Free Amphetamine Supply By Employees To Increase Productivity.
New GM Cows To Have Depleted Uranium Shoved Up Rectum:
Milk Comes Out In Tins.
New GM Kamikaze Cattle: Cook Themselves.
New Hi IQ, GM Carrots; Protest KFC’s Removal from Coleslaw.
Increased Funding For 3-Head People Minority Schools:
2-Heads are critical of funds redirected to 3-Heads.
Leading GM Company Praises Cultural Diversity as co-founders of Progresive 2, 3, 4, & 5 Head School.
The War To End All Wars: Man vs Woman.
Republicans Elected To Lead Holland.
Unmanned Spacecraft to Explore Possibility of Cheese Supply on Alpha_centauri.
Pope Most Reverend Colin I: Frail Bust Still Kick’n.
posted on October 30, 2003 09:01:33 PM new
Some nations have differing understandings of the term 'billion'
Just as some countries state their dates differently.
I’m guessing that 485 is expressed as 'Four Hundred and Eighty Five' in America too???
I don’t call Americans idiots. Only Some.
Take you for example,,, the ones who are too thick as a brick to understand the irony of 2043 Headlines…
__“Legal Retirement Age Increased to 84 as Avg. Natn’l Age Now Hits 63.
__L.AAP (Lazing and aging population) Demands Fee Free Day Trips To Encourage
__Mexican Itinerant Day workers.”
