posted on November 3, 2003 11:43:47 AM new
California's New Langage - Austrionics
> We will shortly have a new language in Kaleeefornia. Please keep this
> email for reference if you get confused in a few years.
>
>
> The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby
> English will be the official language of the state, rather than
> German, which was the other possibility.
>
>
> As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded
> that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted
> a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English"
> (or, perhaps even better, Austrionics ).
>
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
> will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
> dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
> keyboards kan have one less letter.
>
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
> like fotograf 20% shorter.
>
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
> expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible.
>
>
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
> always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
> horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it
> should go away.
>
>
> By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
> with "z" and "w" with "v".
>
>
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
> kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
> riten styl.
>
>
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
>
>
> If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.
>
>
>
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