posted on November 14, 2003 11:22:52 AM new
Subj: Austrionics
A new California language requirement.
The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby
English
will be the official language of the state,
rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in
plan that would become known as "Austro-English"
(or, if nobody will be offended, "Austrionics"..
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
one
less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al
wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful
and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with
"z"
and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou"
and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.
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