posted on December 29, 2003 04:16:13 PM newMerry New Year to you & your’s, and one and all.
May the flowers of prosperity bloom upon you.
Q: How do you turn a communist into a capitalist.
A: Give him money.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner. Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.
The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now." "Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?" The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap."
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Cow Economics Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
Communism: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the
milk.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred through an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The Enron annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
posted on December 30, 2003 02:54:56 PM new
Got this from a friend. I'm sure it's all over the web but it's a thought.
Amen,
Reverend Colin
The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started."
So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished and before going to work this morning I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white, the Bailey's, Kahlua and Wild Turkey, my
Prozac, some valium, my cigarettes and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freakin good I feel!
You may pass this on to those you feel are in need of Inner Peace.
Happy Holidays!
posted on December 30, 2003 02:59:31 PM new
LOL Colin, yes, I think I've heard that one last year, and always say to myself, how could ANYONE leave a bottle of Baileys unfinished?
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posted on December 30, 2003 05:36:48 PM new
Thank you, Linda
I have been working my tail off mostly, so haven't been around much....but I DID contribute to the Christmas recipes, remember?
Some of the know-it-all Demos really suck the fun out of a lot of these threads - and it gets to me, so I just avoid it, you know what I mean? Not naming names - but I am sure most of you know exactly to whom I am referring - thrives on being a total horse's azz and revels on wrecking threads...and it's easier for me to bite my tongue (my fingers? LOL) and avoid the threads instead of getting into a pizzing match with them. I can say this - I would absolutely HATE to have their lives as miserable as they obviously are - always seeing the glass half-empty and never half-full.
Who knows, maybe they will resolve to take a good look in the mirror in the coming year....or maybe I will resolve to give them back some of what they dish out
Linda, you have definitely been in my thoughts this holiday season - you are a very special person
A very happy new year to everyone
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If you had one phone call to make before you died, who would you call, what would you say, and why are you waiting?
