posted on February 27, 2004 02:49:35 AM new
I've spent the past 3 hours worried sick about my best friend's daughter. Her mother called at 11:30pm to say that Rebecca, who was supposed to be home at 9:30pm, hadn't come in yet. Her son, who lives with me, called all over creation trying to track Rebecca down.We alerted the police, checked the hospitals, you name it.
I haven't been to bed and just got a call saying that the police found Rebecca, and were following her home. She is 17 and has her own car. Her mother will call me back as soon as Rebecca is home and she knows what was going on.
I have a feeling that Rebecca, who only recently gained the privilege of driving at night alone, has seen the last of her car for a while, if she doesn't have an incredibly good reason for not going home, phoning home, etc.
At least I can stop biting my nails, though...what a relief!
posted on February 27, 2004 02:58:22 AM new
It is Good that the police found her and safe from harm.... it is a Sad that in this day and age that people must worry about what could be happening other than she was out partying...
posted on February 27, 2004 04:12:46 AM new
Well, Joseph, Rebecca's brother, just came home. Turns out that she had gotten together with two friends, went to the home of one of them and "just forgot about the time."
Yeah, right. I love Rebecca like my own daughter, but she can be an inconsiderate little cow. Her mother had spoken to her before she left the house about coming home on time--9:30 pm--and even discussed with her another teen girl in this area who disappeared recently, voicing her concern about Rebecca's safety. Does she think to call her mother & tell her what's up? No--I bet because she knew the answer would be "no." And now she's acting like this problem is everyone's fault but her own. Joseph said Rebecca was throwing a tantrum when he left to come back here,and acting very put upon.
She's lucky she's not my kid, I can tell you. As it is, she's lost her car and won't be going anywhere in the evenings for a while.
Guess I'll try to get an hour or two ofsleep before I have to get up & go to work...
Edited to say: if I were my friend, I'd also have a word with the parents of the kid whose home Rebecca went to. Didn't they wonder why she was there until 3am on a school night? Or any night for that matter?
And--I hope Hilary really lays into Rebecca for this. We were envisioning her laying in a ditch somewhere after running off the road at best, and abducted, raped & killed by some crazy at worst. Because Hilary kept saying over & over "Rebecca knows better than to do anything like this. Rebecca would call us..." etc. etc. etc. Rebecca has pulled some stunts in the past, but this one takes the cake. I'm so angry right now I could spit!
******
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there --Clare Booth Luce
[ edited by bunnicula on Feb 27, 2004 04:22 AM ]
posted on February 27, 2004 06:11:09 AM new
That's scary!
A cell phone would alleviate some worry on the part of the parents and be helpful if she has auto problems while driving at night. If she fails to call home when late - or turns the phone off - or leaves the phone in the car - other options should be considered.
Hopefully, she will develop more consideration for her family.
posted on February 27, 2004 06:14:02 AM new
Keeping them home on school nights is a cheaper method... cell phones are not free and kids often run up bills that can't be paid.
posted on February 27, 2004 06:23:02 AM new
Of course, it's good to have parental control but there are situations in which parents cannot be in control such as the possibility of auto problems which may leave her in a vulnerable situation on the side of the road at night. If the parents can't control the use of a telephone then maybe she should not have the priviledge to drive a car.
posted on February 27, 2004 07:32:07 AM new
It's a wonder we survived.
If the phone is not affordable, she could at least let her mother know her itinerary and a telephone number in case she failed to return home.
The thing that worries me most about this situation is her lack of concern about letting her family know why she was late and then her belligerent attitude about their concern when she arrived home at 3AM.
posted on February 27, 2004 07:57:34 AM newA cell phone would alleviate some worry on the part of the parents and be helpful if she has auto problems while driving at night.
Yeah, that's what they thought, too. Rebecca was given a cell phone for Christmas. It was turned off, though, so they couldn't reach her. Because, after all, she didn't want tobe reached. And even if she didn't have a cell phone, she still could & should have called her parents. There are other phones around--including in the house of the friend she was "forgetting the time" in.
******
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there --Clare Booth Luce
posted on February 27, 2004 08:04:49 AM new
That's why I specified that the phone could not be turned off or conveniently left in the car.
In some cases such as this, the "girlfriends" are really a boyfriend and it that case, birth control pills should be provided.
Of course I am not referring to your friend's daughter but with some teenagers that's a problem.
I have to go out for awhile. My chauffeur is at the door jingling his keys. LOL!
posted on February 27, 2004 02:52:18 PM new
Yep...Rebecca has further shown herself to be a liar. Her mother finally wormed it out of her that the "friends" she met were in fact 3 boys her mother knew nothing about. The house she went to is one these three share on their own--so they must be over 18. Just wonderful. I'm beginning to doubt that "talking" was all she was engaged in. She is so lucky I am not her mom
******
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there --Clare Booth Luce
posted on February 27, 2004 03:06:56 PM new
I agree she was inconsiderate, but she is a teenager afterall. The fact she feels the need to lie about where she's been shows she's not able to talk to her parents about her true plans. Would her parents have approved of staying out until 3:00? Would they have approved of being with guys? Maybe she thinks her parents don't really trust her or she would've called & told them the truth. Just my opinion, Bunni.
posted on February 27, 2004 03:24:04 PM new
No 17 year old needs or should be running around at 3:00 am. Period. Boy or girl.
As for boys--she isn't being raised to be a nun, if that's what you mean. She dates, and her parents have absolutely no problem with her going to a friend's house as long as they know the friend, know that Rebecca is going there, and Rebecca comes home when she is supposed to or calls them to let them know of a change in plans.
And Rebecca has always been able to tell her mother about anything--literally. That is why her mother was so convinced that she "just wouldn't do something like this." And while she's not allowed to run wild, there hasn't been too many things in her life she wasn't allowed to do when she asked.
Well, she's on a very short leash, now. And no one to blame but herself.
******
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there --Clare Booth Luce
posted on February 27, 2004 03:32:57 PM new
Sounds like she has a good relationship with her parents, Bunni. I wasn't trying to say otherwise, just presenting a possibility.
posted on February 27, 2004 09:51:52 PM new
bunni - Hope you've caught up on your sleep by now.
As I read your updates....I couldn't help but chuckle. Not because of the worry you and your friends were going through, all parents can identify with those fears and worries, but because I it's such a normal part of growing up.
We teach them, they gain our trust and then once-in-a-while [sometimes more than once-in-a-while ] they disappoint us by pulling something like this stunt. We pull in the ropes for a while, until we're sure they get the message and then we release them to start earning that trust again.
It's the natural cycle of growing up, imo. And it's what gives parents all their gray hairs. Just wait until that nephew of yours hits his teen years. lol
] they disappoint us by pulling something like this stunt. We pull in the ropes for a while, until we're sure they get the message and then we release them to start earning that trust again.