posted on March 10, 2004 01:50:16 PM new
These made me chuckle....
Jay Leno.... Let's see, you got Jean Bertrand Aristide, Michael Eisner, Martha Stewart -- not a good week for dictators.
.... President Bush has unveiled his first campaign commercial focusing on his accomplishments. That's why it's only a 60 second spot. ....
President Bush has just one question for the American voters: is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?
.... John Kerry has promised to take the country back from the wealthy. And who better than a guy worth $700 million to take the country back from the wealthy?
David Letterman....
Top Signs Hillary Clinton Wants To Be Vice President:
The Washington, D.C. TJ Maxx has sold out of pantsuits;
She's practicing sitting around doing nothing;
Instead of pretending to be from New York, she's pretending to be from key battleground states Ohio, Florida and Michigan;
Bragged to reporters the next "Hillary-Gate" is going to be off the hizzook;
Says she wants to be the first female Vice President since Gore;
Just purchased a large amount of Halliburton stock;
Called Century 21 to ask about listings for undisclosed locations;
Well, there's the "Kerry/Clinton" tattoo; Firing up the ol' paper shredder.
Argus Hamilton....
Mel Gibson shared his personal story with Diane Sawyer.... Fifteen years ago he quit drinking, became a religious conservative, and set out to convert the world.
The Laura Bush Center isn't as well known as the Betty Ford Center but it's ten times more dangerous.
.... Mexico's President Vicente Fox asked President Bush for amnesty for illegal aliens and open borders for migrant workers. He wants Mexicans to have the right to take American jobs. The good news is that border security is now India's problem.
...Fox obtained the same rights for Mexican tourists in the U.S. that Canadians enjoy. It's about time. Americans are sick and tired of the Canadians coming down to this country and taking jobs away from our Mexicans.
....Portland issued same-sex marriage licenses...and lines of gay couples circled the block outside city hall. The Democrats are cornered by the issue. John Kerry insisted that he will stand by his principles, so it could go either way.
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posted on March 10, 2004 06:41:05 PM new
Loved em all.
And to add a few more.
Jay Leno.... John Kerry appears to be the frontrunner -- you know the name of John Kerry's campaign bus? "The Real Deal Express."
You know the name of Dennis Kucinich's campaign bus? Greyhound. .... Kucinich is not doing well. Even people in Florida said they wouldn't vote for him by mistake. ....
Late today a white powder was found in the office of Al Sharpton. Turns out it was just powdered sugar from some of his donuts. ....
Earlier today, Janet Jackson's breast came out and saw its shadow. Which means six more weeks of winter. .... I was shocked to hear this -- Janet admitted today that yes the whole thing was a stunt and it was planned.... I thought it was a complete accident. .... CBS said today that's why they put that "X-X-X" in the title. That's not roman numerals, it's the rating! .... I just hope what Janet did at halftime doesn't, in any way, tarnish the good name of the Jackson family.
The Democrats ran on 'Honesty' and I told 'em at the time they would never get anywhere. It was too radical for politics. The Republicans ran on 'Common Sense' and the returns showed that there were 8 million more people in the United States who had 'Common Sense' enough not to believe that there was 'Honesty' in politics." --Will Rogers
