posted on March 18, 2004 06:58:07 PM new
Questions to Ponder
>
>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
>these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out"?
>
>Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the
>next thing that comes outta it's butt."
>
>Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
>crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
>If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
>
>
>
>Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
>
>If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why
>can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time but don't
>
>point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
>Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going
>to look up there anyway?
>
>Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
>
>
>
>If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he
>just buy dinner?
>
>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
>If olive oil is made from olives, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
>then what is baby oil made from?
>
>If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
>Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
>
>Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
>
>(Stop singing and read on)
>
>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
>Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
>
>call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
>
>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
>but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
>
>Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
>
>Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
___________________________________
Have you noticed since everyone has a Camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?
posted on March 18, 2004 09:08:08 PM new
Those are great. I identified with the toaster one:
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Mine has #s 1 - 10 and I've never set it higher than 2. #1 for toast and #2 for bagels.
posted on March 18, 2004 11:39:49 PM new
Linda: Yeah, the toaster settings are very hard to understand?! Probably designed by a committee.
My father, who grew up on a farm, loved his toast burned with lots of black. He's the only one I've ever run across who had that preference, I must say. Even today, when I smell burned toast, it reminds me of my dad, who's long gone.
I think there are toasters now that only have three or four settings. Somebody? Ring in here, please.
___________________________________
Have you noticed since everyone has a Camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?
