posted on April 12, 2004 09:34:46 PM new
Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the inauguration route, the folks from Texas have decided that we might just take matters into our own hands.
Here is our solution:
#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States (all 49 states).
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).
We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning
Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years.
Yankee states? Sorry about that.
Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....
Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.
Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.
We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway.
We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some more) .
We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers
We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.
Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
You won't have any TV, as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.
Signed, The People of Texas
'We have dispatched Dr. David Kay...to search for the bio-warfare agents we believe hidden in Senator Kerry's forehead. If Senator Kerry has used botox as part of a wrinkle enrichment program, he is in violation of UN Resolution 752. Upon receiving Dr. Kay's report, the weapons of mass destruction that Senator Kerry so adamantly insists do not exist...may well be above his very nose.'" --Dick Cheney when asked whether John Kerry has had Botox treaments
posted on April 13, 2004 10:11:05 AM new
Twelve, I am accepting applications for Texas Visa's.
'We have dispatched Dr. David Kay...to search for the bio-warfare agents we believe hidden in Senator Kerry's forehead. If Senator Kerry has used botox as part of a wrinkle enrichment program, he is in violation of UN Resolution 752. Upon receiving Dr. Kay's report, the weapons of mass destruction that Senator Kerry so adamantly insists do not exist...may well be above his very nose.'" --Dick Cheney when asked whether John Kerry has had Botox treaments
posted on April 13, 2004 08:17:07 PM new
Texas refines a lot of oil, but Louisiana, California, Illinois, and Pennsylvania alone beat it by quite a bit. I personally would love to see Texas leave the union, and take all my pinche Tejano relatives with you, along with your new President
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posted on April 13, 2004 08:53:47 PM new
Prof reread the original post.
Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years.
Texas produces & refines enough oil to supply itself.
I personally would love to see Texas leave the union, and take all my pinche Tejano relatives with you
If you don't want them, We Dam sure don't. Send em back across the border to all that Mexican property you control.
'We have dispatched Dr. David Kay...to search for the bio-warfare agents we believe hidden in Senator Kerry's forehead. If Senator Kerry has used botox as part of a wrinkle enrichment program, he is in violation of UN Resolution 752. Upon receiving Dr. Kay's report, the weapons of mass destruction that Senator Kerry so adamantly insists do not exist...may well be above his very nose.'" --Dick Cheney when asked whether John Kerry has had Botox treaments
posted on April 14, 2004 06:06:15 AM new
i hope it does not happen,the texan culture is too overbearing,we welcome yankees.
how many yankees do you know marry a texan broad??
-sig file -------we eat to live,not live to eat.
Benjamin Franklin
posted on April 14, 2004 12:26:35 PM new
[i]Just wondering, when Tejas is independent, will you reinstate slavery?[/]
Only for your mojados.........
'We have dispatched Dr. David Kay...to search for the bio-warfare agents we believe hidden in Senator Kerry's forehead. If Senator Kerry has used botox as part of a wrinkle enrichment program, he is in violation of UN Resolution 752. Upon receiving Dr. Kay's report, the weapons of mass destruction that Senator Kerry so adamantly insists do not exist...may well be above his very nose.'" --Dick Cheney when asked whether John Kerry has had Botox treaments
posted on April 14, 2004 03:31:06 PM new
bear tried to italicize my words,
{i]Just wondering, when Tejas is independent, will you reinstate slavery?[/]
and then wrote:
Only for your mojados........
You're so easy ,I figured it would be a snap to goad you into an epithet...
Like I said bear, they are native Texans, not wetbacks, in case any other readers don't understand the english meaning of the ethnic slur you just used.
posted on April 14, 2004 04:50:07 PM new
Ethnic slur? What else would you call an Mexican immigrant that swims across the Rio Grande to gain illegal access to the U.S.
You dam sure couldn't call them a dry back.....
And speaking of a easy goad, I knew I could count on you to respond as you do every time.
'We have dispatched Dr. David Kay...to search for the bio-warfare agents we believe hidden in Senator Kerry's forehead. If Senator Kerry has used botox as part of a wrinkle enrichment program, he is in violation of UN Resolution 752. Upon receiving Dr. Kay's report, the weapons of mass destruction that Senator Kerry so adamantly insists do not exist...may well be above his very nose.'" --Dick Cheney when asked whether John Kerry has had Botox treaments
[ edited by Bear1949 on Apr 14, 2004 04:51 PM ]
posted on April 14, 2004 04:58:11 PM new
Tell you what bear, if you don't think it's an ethnic slur,why don't you walk into the nearest latino bar, buy a round for a few fellows, and then ask them "Say, since we're all amee-goes, ok if I just refer to you boys as mojados?"
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posted on April 14, 2004 06:13:59 PM new
What exactly does the word pinche mean?? Did you not use this word meant as a racial slur directed towards a certain group of people??
posted on April 14, 2004 07:58:34 PM new
Pinche as a racial slur? LOL! Not unless you consider "damn" (or a stronger variation thereof) to be some rare version of one.
If you are going to make an accusation you probably should either wait to find for your request on clairifcation to be filled or maybe Google it. There is also The Complete Idiots Guide to Spanish Slang which I highly reccommend. Istead you just came out looking silly.
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If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
[ edited by fenix03 on Apr 14, 2004 07:59 PM ]
posted on April 14, 2004 09:03:42 PM new Istead you just came out looking silly
Yup, pinche isn't an ethnic slur. To some, as fenix says, it just means "damned". Using that meaning pinche Tejano as I wrote, means "damned Texan". In my local vernacular, we are not quite as used to swearing, so pinche has a stronger meaning; "worthless". In either event, not an ethnic slur, unless you consider "Texan" to be an ethnic group
Nice try. No cigar. Please play again.
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posted on April 14, 2004 09:05:38 PM new
Getting back on topic, is there a proposed date for the secession of Texas from the union? I've been looking for a reason to have a party...
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Where do you think I learned the word. I was delivering a load of equipment for Pemex to Laredo/Renosa. The guys that were all unloading the trucks were Mexicans working in the U.S. legally & living in Renosa. They were all complaining of the mojados that were crossing over, costing them work.
I asked what a mojado was & they all laughed at the gringo (me) & explained its meaning.
'We have dispatched Dr. David Kay...to search for the bio-warfare agents we believe hidden in Senator Kerry's forehead. If Senator Kerry has used botox as part of a wrinkle enrichment program, he is in violation of UN Resolution 752. Upon receiving Dr. Kay's report, the weapons of mass destruction that Senator Kerry so adamantly insists do not exist...may well be above his very nose.'" --Dick Cheney when asked whether John Kerry has had Botox treaments
posted on April 14, 2004 10:01:41 PM new
Yellow - you should check out the book. It's funny, easy reading and educational. I wish I could find mine right now.
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If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
