posted on April 16, 2004 02:04:26 PM new
Two young boys in Boston were playing basketball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, breaking the dog's neck.
A newspaper reporter from the Boston Globe witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy. The reporter started entering data into his laptop, beginning with the headline: ''Brave Young Celtics Fan Saves Friend From Jaws of Vicious Animal.''
''But I'm not a Celtics fan,'' the little hero interjected.
''Sorry,'' replied the reporter. ''But since we're in Boston I just assumed you were.'' Hitting the delete key, the reporter began again: ''John Kerry Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack.''
''Wait a minute! I'm not a Kerry fan either,'' the boy responds.
The reporter said, ''I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Celtics or Kerry or Kennedy. What team or person do you like?''
''I'm a Houston Rockets fan and I really like George W. Bush,'' the boy said.
Hitting the delete key, the reporter began writing his new headline: ''Arrogant Little Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet...''
'We have dispatched Dr. David Kay...to search for the bio-warfare agents we believe hidden in Senator Kerry's forehead. If Senator Kerry has used botox as part of a wrinkle enrichment program, he is in violation of UN Resolution 752. Upon receiving Dr. Kay's report, the weapons of mass destruction that Senator Kerry so adamantly insists do not exist...may well be above his very nose.'" --Dick Cheney when asked whether John Kerry has had Botox treaments
