posted on May 26, 2004 11:48:21 AM new
And how about this one?
If, as a heterosexual female, I divorced a bisexual male, (who, as luck would have it, realized he was homosexual after he divorced his second wife), does that make me far-right?
posted on May 26, 2004 11:57:06 AM new
(hypothetically, but I am hetro )
ok, If I am hetro female married, faithfully to the same man for many years, with 2 children we had and raised together, and I voted for Clinton, then Gore, card carrying member of the Democratic party, activist on every cause, member of PITA, enviormental activist, feminist and a member NOW, am I still a liberal?
posted on May 26, 2004 12:41:06 PM new
Committed monogamous hetero couple - marry or cohabit- which and why?
It wouldn't matter, BUT, there are a lot of reasons for being married; having children, when you have those children, if one spouse passes away, the children and spouse will not have to worry so much about finances (esp after a huge $$ of funerals etc) from life insurance, SS etc. The spouse would still have the house, becaue being married he/she would be on the house, even if other spouse made all the income to pay for it.
And, after saying all that, it doesn't all have to do with income and/or money
Marriage is a commitment to each other, and showing everyone that you are a commited couple. Yes, some would say 'its just a piece of paper' but I believe its more than that.
posted on May 26, 2004 12:56:24 PM new
My "gut" says marry - but I do know couples who are very happily living together.
Something sticks in my mind, maybe others wouldn't find it important. But I knew a couple, when he died, she was listed in the paper (his obit) as his special friend. I just hated that.
On the other hand, I knew another couple (and I'm sure there are many) who lived together rather than marry for financial reasons. They were both older and would have received less SS if they had gotten married.
posted on May 26, 2004 02:11:36 PM new
cherishedclutter, I've heard stories like that also, about older couples NOT marrying over the income issue.
I still am in favor of marriage, but living together, heck people have for a long time, and then there are couples, who have lived together forever, and end up saying 'this is my wife' or 'this is my husband', because I suppose after awhile, it would get awkward calling your live in- 'my girlfriend' or 'my boyfriend'
posted on May 26, 2004 02:41:33 PM new
Try being almost 50 and being referred to as "girlfriend" even though you've been living together for almost four years! It does get awkward. Issues for straights, huh? Well, there's always the social securit thing as cherishedclutter pointed out. If you are living together you get two checks (more money), if you are married you get one (less money). Let's see, what else? Oh yes, in-laws! I never had any because my husband's mother died before we got married (his father was long out of the picture) and my current boyfriend's mother died two years ago Christmas. His father died long before I met him. No, I'm not married AND dating. I lost my husband to a heart attack in 1999 for those of you who don't know. Other than those issues and divorce, extra-marital affairs, child rearing conflicts, money woes and the like, can't think of anything.
posted on May 26, 2004 02:54:03 PM new
Cheryl I'm sorry about your late husband
About in laws well, I like mine! She's nice, and she likes me, but good thing we do live in different states, just in case
As for poor Mikey he is has a FIL, that is eldery, and is always having to help out with this or that, but he doesn't say anything
Yes, I agree with the SS. But I remember my grandparents, well, this was in the early 80's late 70's something, she never worked outside the home. When my grandfather started getting his SS, she received a check also, I didn't get that one? But then he died first, and her check increased. I don't know if they still do this, but that seemed like a plus for marriage? I don't know.
Cheryl, I left my first, a long time ago. I raised my kids well into their teens alone, then I met Mike. It worked better this way. I don't think they would have like a 'stepfather' when they were teens, they could be rotten sometimes LOL, but now? they tell their freinds 'I'm going to my parents house now' go figure.....
posted on May 26, 2004 02:58:26 PM new
But Cheryl, I missed that....
Other than those issues and divorce, extra-marital affairs, child rearing conflicts, money woes and the like, can't think of anything.
But ALL the above could happen to a live in couple, couldn't they? Except for divorce. And thats where one thing usually works for YOU, if your married, and you do divorce, you have a settlement. Like if 2 that live together buy a house together, break up, it could be a nightmare settling the house issue?
Yes, they do happen to live-in couples - I'm proof. We argue over my adult children and what I should and should not do for them. We argue about my granddaughter - he says he wants her to go to church, I say it's up to her mother not him. He knows how I feel about organized religion. We argue about money, as well. He's never cheated on me, though. I think he knows better. Arguments are few and far between. Besides, when he says something mean I just call him a big baby and walk away. Gets him everytime!
posted on May 26, 2004 03:40:43 PM new
But most of 'them' (men) are big babies LOL!
Just this week, he was working in the garage, a lawnmower I think, and next thing I hear from the downstairs bathroom is 'Get me a bandaid!!!' well! he never has demanded anything before, but I go, get them, and here I see his index finger hanging there, blood filling the sink, and I was calm! I said, ok hold it right here, and I opened the car door for him, drove him straight to er, opened the door, filled out all his ins for him and they stitched it back together and 1 tetanas (sp?) shot. Man! he was a baby, but over the tet shot! they hurt the next day, and he was holding his arm and whining
But his finger is back together, his arm is better, and I stayed calm ..... BUT when I think back, I think to myself, I shoulda freaked out! LOL! I really should have! with an almost severed finger, and all he wanted was a BANDAID........ men.....
LOL! Sounds about right! Ken slipped in the bathtub and put his arm through the glass shower doors. They were the old kind so they weren't safety glass. There was blood everywhere. I made him go to the hospital. He didn't complain about the deep gouges, he cried over the shots to numb his arm. Then, he spend the next couple of days whining about the whole thing. Needless to say, the shower doors are now safety glass. I still don't know how he managed it all in the first place. Guess I don't want to know what he was doing in the shower all by himself that caused him to slip. LOL!
Cheryl
[ edited by cblev65252 on May 26, 2004 03:48 PM ]
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Gets him everytime!