posted on May 29, 2004 08:17:50 PM new
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Man, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find other employment."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Sweetheart," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you have," she said, starting to cry, "and if you don't stop, I'll want a divorce!"
"But dear, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said through her rolling tears. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry again.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open: the library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.
"Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a noneducational video; last week it was Porky's Revenge. Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
Soon, I will be able to vote Democratic
"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why — with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him." —Jay Leno
posted on May 29, 2004 08:29:35 PM new
Pillar Number 4 is proved correct.
"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why — with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him." —Jay Leno
posted on May 29, 2004 08:42:04 PM new
Calling an article stupid wouldn't be classified as name-calling, Bear. It's OK that you didn't get that though.
posted on May 29, 2004 08:46:57 PM new
Kraft, it's O.K., I understand you're a closet Republican....
"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why — with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him." —Jay Leno
posted on May 29, 2004 09:02:10 PM new
Paste the first sentence of that silly forwarded email into google and you'll see how many variations of it there have been. Somebody without an original thought to his name just added the last line. It's as old as the hills. Recycled email garbage, like most of Bear's posts.
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When a dog howls at the moon, we call it religion. When he barks at strangers, we call it patriotism. - Edward Abbey
posted on June 3, 2004 03:02:20 PM new
Boy, bear, you have some intelligence gathering facts to do if you think kraft's statement to you was name calling.
capolady
I suggest you find another "hero". Calling bear your hero is pretty pathetic considering the garbage he posts. He's like a 5-year old with his cartoons.
Oh, there I go. I called you a 5-year old. I suppose that's name calling, too. Kraft, I think we'd better watch what we say. Do remember the republicans like to stiffle anyone who thinks outside their box. LOL!
posted on June 3, 2004 07:04:34 PM new
"Do remember the republicans like to stiffle anyone who thinks outside their box."
So does that qualify as Pillar #1 or #5?
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We do not stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing -- Anonymous
posted on June 3, 2004 07:08:40 PM new
Oh Cheryl, I forgot how easily offend you demo's are with an innocent little comment.
Just think how easily I could offened you if I REALLY wanted to. Wouldn't take much.
What the hell,
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde woman wearing a "Vote for Kerry button". The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".
Never-the-less, the blonde (still wearing the Kerry campaign button" continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why — with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him." —Jay Leno
