posted on June 4, 2004 05:36:12 PM new
I had to make a very hard decision today. I had to put my Great Dane, Chandra, to sleep this afternoon. She was 9 years old and has been on medication for arthritis for a year. This morning her hind end kept collapsing and she needed help to get up. She ate her breakfast OK, but it was obvious that the time had come. The vet could fit me in at 3:15pm.
I got back a little while ago. My godson said his good-byes to Chandra this afternoon before he had to go to work & gave her a last goodie--a Strawberry Nutrigrain bar, which she made sure to get every crumb of. Then he helped me take the back seats of the Cruiser. Spread a blanket in back for her. It took both of us to get Chandra out to the car from the house, one to lead her & the other to hold up her back end.
And she got so excited--Chandra just loved riding in the car. I left early so I could giver her one last ride. Drove several miles, all around town, and I do think Chandra enjoyed herself. She kept trying to stand up and look out the window, but finally just sat and watched the world go by. Every once in a while she'd see something that excited her and make little sounds in her throat. When she'd get tired of sitting up, she'd lay down with her head between the front seats so I could pet her.
When I finally pulled into the vet's lot, I parked under a tree and opened up the back of the Cruiser. Climbed in and sat with Chandra for 10 or 15 minutes. Loved her up and said my goodbyes. Then I took her inside. I had to use two leashes--looped one under her stomach so I could hold her up. I sat on the floor and held her as they gave her the shot. Just a couple of seconds and no pain, and she was gone.
I didn't think I could hurt any more than I was. Then I got home, and the other dogs needed to be fed, and I found myself automatically starting to fill Chandra's bowl, too. It hit me all over again. And then again when I gave the bowls to Elsie Crumpet & Merlin. I've always handed out their food in a particular order: first Elsie Crumpet, then Chandra's bowl on her chair and then Merlin. I guess I was still on autopilot--after I gave Elsie her food, I turned and put Merlin's dish on Chandra's chair and he just stood there looking at me until I put his bowl in his spot.
My teeth hurt and I just discovered I've been clenching my jaw. It hurts so much to lose a pet like this. They live such short lives but while they're here they give you their all. Become part of your family and bring joy.
Chandra was one of the most loving dogs I've ever had. I remember when I brought Chandra home. She was seven months old and I got her from Great Dane Rescue--she'd been dumped because she is almost completely deaf. She was such a skinny thing! All feet and elbows & tail. She never did grow out of being something of a moose. Gentle despite her size--well, when she wasn't stepping on you by accident--but protective as well. When the doorbell rang at night, it was always Chandra I took with me when I opened the door. One look at her & folks minded their manners.
Chandra always thought of herself as a lapdog, despite her size. Got as much of herself up into your lap as she could manage & wanted to be cuddled. She liked to sleep on the foot of my bed before it got too hard for her to climb up, which could be painful if she started running in her sleep!
And Chandra was known for her careful kisses; she would put her nose in your face and inspect it thoroughly before sticking her tongue out the tiniest bit and licking your nose or chin. I took her to work with me several times over the years to help out with preschool story time--she looked a great deal like Stephen Kellogg's character, Pinkerton, and I would do a dog-themed story time and bring Chandra in for the kids to play with. She would gently lay down and let the preschoolers pet her and climb on her. They loved it.
'Bye, Chandra. Miss you.
[ edited by bunnicula on Jun 4, 2004 05:48 PM ]
posted on June 4, 2004 05:47:15 PM new
Your post is very moving. Animals are an unbelievable gift that makes days like this the worst. I'm so sorry {{Bunni}}.
posted on June 4, 2004 06:10:46 PM new
Oh {{{bunni}}} my heart goes out to you. Loss of those we love is so very, very hard. The tribute you've given her here is lovely and definately lets us feel how much she meant to you. I'm so sorry and know it was a very tough decision to made.
posted on June 4, 2004 06:14:55 PM new
bunnicula, I'm so sorry.
You wrote that so well it's like I knew Chandra too. There is no love like the one you feel for your pet and the grief and hurt of losing one is terrible.
posted on June 4, 2004 06:19:18 PM new
bunnicula So Sorry for your loss. I had to put my best friend down a couple of years ago for the same thing. He was a poddle 17 years old I got him when he was 8 weeks. God Bless You and God Bless Chandra.
posted on June 4, 2004 07:51:23 PM new
I'm so sorry, Bunnicula.
From Epitaph to a Dog...the poor dog, in life the firmest friend,
The first to welcome, foremost to defend,
Whose honest heart is still his master's own,
Who labors, fights, lives, breathes for him alone
posted on June 4, 2004 09:06:40 PM new
Bunni, I know exactly how you feel. I lost
Duster, my Dane five years ago when he was 9. He was large even for a dane @ 34" at the sholder & 170#s.
Solid black with white sox. A true gental giant. Came home one day & found him lying by my chair. My wife & I both were ready to be buried with him.
You will always miss them but also have memories of the good times.
My favorite memory of Duster is saved in a photo of him (full grown) setting in my lap while I'm setting in the recliner. Let me tell you that chair was full, whith me at 6'2" & 250# & then Duster hanging out all over.
Bless you & your family in your time of sorrow. Dam, you've got me crying thinking of Duster.
"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why — with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him." —Jay Leno
posted on June 4, 2004 09:43:48 PM new
bunni, I've been in your shoes quite a few times...it isn't easy, but it is the right thing to do....the greatest gift we can give our pets after a lifetime of their love and devotion is the gift of release from their pain. God bless you and Chandra.
___________________________________
When a dog howls at the moon, we call it religion. When he barks at strangers, we call it patriotism. - Edward Abbey
posted on June 4, 2004 09:49:42 PM new
Bunni - I am so sorry about the loss of your dog. My little moster Salvaje was cat napped on mothers day leaving me and his partner lost and heartbroken. I'm still not used to him not being here and often find myself doing the little things I used to do for him and his partner spends most of the day wating at the window for his return. It amazing how emtpy that place in your heart can feel. You tribute was beautiful and I bet Chandra loved her last day.
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on June 5, 2004 03:17:00 AM new
Thank you all for your kind comments.
____________________
We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. -- John F. Kennedy
posted on June 5, 2004 10:27:17 PM new
We're all so sorry to hear this, Bunni.
___________________________________
As I've matured, I've learned . .
#2. . . that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the butt are permanent.
posted on June 6, 2004 02:15:00 PM new
Thanks everyone. It has been a hard weekend, and your comments have helped.
Bear: Your Duster sounds so much like Chandra!
Prof: you're right about it not getting easier--I've had this hard decision to make before and it hurts just as much each time.
Fenix: I'm so sorry to hear about your cat! In a way that is worse, because you just don't know what has happened to him.
GTootie: what website do you mean? Can you post a link to it?
____________________
We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. -- John F. Kennedy
