posted on July 21, 2004 05:33:01 PM new
Jay Leno....
Welcome to "The Tonight Show."
We're in California, home of the girly men!
.... John Kerry talked about how there were two Americas. He said he knew there were two Americas because every night he has to drive through one America on his way home to his America.
.... John Kerry spoke to NAACP [last week]. And you...could tell he was pandering [when] he said the first thing he would do as president was give a full pardon to Whoopi Goldberg.
.... Senator John Edwards made his first solo campaign appearance since he was added to the ticket... Apparently, it went so well that Edwards is now thinking of dropping Kerry.
.... Ralph Nader also made a solo campaign appearance today. Except in Ralph's case, it meant that he was there by himself.
.... It looks like Howard Dean will be speaking at the Democrat Convention on the first night. I guess they're going to use him to test the sound system. If he doesn't blow it out it'll be okay.
.... Pope John Paul II has apologized to Istanbul for the sacking of Constantinople in the year 1204. How old is the pope?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"One thing is for sure: the extremists have faith in our weakness. And the weaker we are, the more they will come after us." --Tony Blair
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"The War on Terror will not be won until America is united. And as long as Democrats target the Bush administration -- not the terrorists -- as the enemy, we are in trouble." --Oliver North
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
posted on July 21, 2004 06:32:44 PM new
"President Bush said today he is looking into if Iran had anything to do with 9/11, but he's not declaring war yet. He said first he wants to know all the facts -- so apparently he's trying a new strategy." —Jay Leno
"Vice President Dick Cheney attended his 45th high school reunion. Not surprisingly, during high school Cheney was voted most likely not to live until his 45th high school reunion." —Conan O'Brien
"Governor Schwarzenegger has not apologized for calling Sacramento lawmakers girly men. I'm not surprised. He still hasn't apologized for making that 'Jingle All The Way' movie." —Jay Leno
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
All Things Just Keep Getting Better
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
posted on July 21, 2004 07:15:04 PM new
Linda. Very funny from Leno. Thanks for posting. I especially like the one about edwards solo campaign. lol!!
My dh gets such a kick out of Leno. I think he's pretty good, but light (you know he never gets too dirty or mean or anything - only once in awhile some real zingers come out of him!)
posted on July 21, 2004 07:20:53 PM new
speak for yourself neroter12... logansdad is about as funny as a hemroid... but then again he would know all about ass...
Glad you turned the table on the one-sided thread. Jay Leno has made jokes about everyone although you wouldn't know it from Linda's thread.
Cheryl
God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: This is my country. - Benjamin Franklin
posted on July 21, 2004 07:34:31 PM new
Best of DubyaSpeak
(The most memorable Dubya moments)
TOP 10 AS SELECTED BY DUBYASPEAK VIEWERS
10. At this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly outta Ronald Reagan Airport.
9. Laura and I will thank them from the bottom of my heart.
8. When you have your own money, it means you've got more money to spend.
7. The benefits of helping somebody is beneficial.
6. We're in for a long struggle, and I think Texans understand that. And so do Americans.
5. Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of "Hop on Pop".
4. I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here.
3. And one of the things we've got to make sure that we do is anything.
2. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.
1. Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.
TOP 10 AS SELECTED BY THE EDITOR (from the remainder of the collection)
10. I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war.
9. I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.
8. You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
7. No, I know all the war rhetoric, but it's all aimed at achieving peace.
6. My mom often used to say, "The trouble with W" -- although she didn't put that to words.
5. In 1994, there were 67 schools in Texas that were rated "exemplorary" according to our own tests.
4. I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right.
3. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.
2. I understand small business growth. I was one.
1. Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
posted on July 21, 2004 08:46:20 PM new
neroter - I was hoping maybe others would post jokes too...to break the tension, just a tad.
-------
And Leno makes me laugh no matter which political side he takes......as I've mentioned many times CHERYL. You get so petty at times.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"One thing is for sure: the extremists have faith in our weakness. And the weaker we are, the more they will come after us." --Tony Blair
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"The War on Terror will not be won until America is united. And as long as Democrats target the Bush administration -- not the terrorists -- as the enemy, we are in trouble." --Oliver North
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
posted on July 21, 2004 09:55:57 PM newAnd Leno makes me laugh no matter which political side he takes.....
Post some of his Bush jokes for me would you Linda? I don't watch the TeeVee very much... Too busy spotlighting coyotes every night lately.
___________________________________
Beware the man of one book.
- Thomas Aquinas
posted on July 21, 2004 10:47:05 PM new
profe - Yes, there have been times when people have posted Bush jokes that Jay Leno has made, and I laughed at those too.
Laughter is good for the soul.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"One thing is for sure: the extremists have faith in our weakness. And the weaker we are, the more they will come after us." --Tony Blair
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"The War on Terror will not be won until America is united. And as long as Democrats target the Bush administration -- not the terrorists -- as the enemy, we are in trouble." --Oliver North
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
posted on July 21, 2004 10:58:13 PM new
Jay Leno...
"President Bush has declared Sunday to be National Sanctity of Human Life Day. He said we have to protect the weak, the imperfect and the unwanted. But first, we have to give tax cuts to the rich."
Earlier today President Bush spent some time with National Guard troops in Louisiana. When Bush arrived, the commanding officer said, "You're a little late."
Today in the L.A. Times, one critic wrote that the problem with John Kerry is "he looks like he thinks too much." Well, you won't hear anyone accusing President Bush of that.
posted on July 22, 2004 05:45:53 AM new
thanks Helen. Linda's right, laughter is good for the soul!
___________________________________
Beware the man of one book.
- Thomas Aquinas
posted on July 22, 2004 06:45:32 AM newspeak for yourself neroter12... logansdad is about as funny as a hemroid... but then again he would know all about ass...
So would you with all your visits to gay bars and brothels
Hey Twelve, do me a favor hold out your right hand with the thumb and index finger in the shape of a right angle. Now go hold it up to your forehead and look at yourself in the mirror.
Now isn't time for you to go and change your colostomy bag.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
All Things Just Keep Getting Better
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
