posted on July 27, 2004 06:17:04 AM new
By David Martin. David Martin lives in Ottawa
Canada
Published July 27, 2004
The surprising success of the pedantic grammar book "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" seems to be due, in large part, to its clever tripartite title. Thus look for America's publishing houses to jump on the trinity bandwagon with these upcoming releases:
Steals, Lies & Cheats by K. Lay
Ken Lay creates his own punch line in this dry autobiographical tour of corporate America. For 300 excruciating pages, the ex-chief executive officer denies knowledge of all things Enron. But no matter how you punctuate the title, the employees and shareholders always come out losers.
Hides, Ducks & Covers, by G.W. Bush
President Bush details the myriad ways his administration has been able to deny, avoid and obfuscate in this slim volume that serves as a truth massager's handbook. From weapons of mass destruction to yellowcake to "revenue-generating" tax cuts, the president shows that basically the joke's on us.
Lather, Rinse & Repeat, by J. Kerry
For the first time, Sen. John Kerry reveals his hair-care secrets to the world. Learn how the craggy-faced liberal manages to always keep his impressive hair in place and avoid the dreaded hirsute flip-flops.
Stop, Drop & Roll, by R. Nader
He fought for safer cars, he lobbied for cleaner air and then he took on the political plutocrats. Now he's tackling the all-important issue of fire safety. As an expert in self-immolation, Nader shows how you can sometimes keep on running even when your hair's on fire.
Win, Lose or Draw, by D. Cheney
America's vice president shows how it's possible to win no matter what hand you're dealt. The author explains in boring detail how to use everything from closed-door meetings to the U.S. Supreme Court to achieve your ends. From Florida voters to congressional members to incumbent presidents, Cheney amply illustrates how there's one born every minute.
Calls, Sells & Serves by M. Stewart
The doyenne of domesticity tediously describes how "one little mistake" got blown way out of proportion. Her broker calls, Martha sells and then she serves--five months in Club Fed and five under house arrest, to be exact. Stewart offers dozens of lifestyle suggestions, including how to brighten up concrete walls and how to carve a centerpiece from a bar of soap.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
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All Things Just Keep Getting Better
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We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
