posted on December 1, 2004 07:00:43 AM new
Being herself
The openly gay kid is now a fact of life at most urban and suburban schools. But what happened at West Leyden High School is remarkable.
By Nara Schoenberg
Tribune staff reporter
Published December 1, 2004
The homecoming queen wore a tux.
Her classmates said wear a dress, just this once, but Luz Duarte doesn't wear dresses -- or even girls' pants -- and she didn't think the school-wide homecoming assembly was the place to start.
"You know, what? No," she said.
"If I'm going to go up there, I'm going to go as myself."
That approach has worked surprisingly well for Duarte, 18, a senior at West Leyden High School in Northlake and one of the first openly gay students in the Chicago area to be elected homecoming queen.
When she told her classmates she was gay in 7th grade, the reaction was mostly positive.
"Everybody thought it was cool. They had never met a gay person," Duarte says, and their response was, "Ohmigod! Are you serious?"
The interest wasn't all good. "They made me feel like I was an alien from outer space and they wanted to dissect me," Duarte says.
But, still, too much attention was better than the loneliness and depression she experienced when she kept her sexual orientation to herself.
"When she came out, it was like a flower blossomed," says her mother, Maritza, a credit union manager.
At West Leyden, a midsize school with average test scores, Duarte's life continued to improve. As a freshman, she knew a lot of people because she played basketball and softball and ran cross country.
The seniors, in particular, made it clear they knew who she was and respected her decision to come out.
Duarte, who gets love letters from girls she doesn't know, has some obvious qualities of high school social royalty, among them great self-assurance and a winning smile.
"Radiant, very bold, intelligent, generous," is how her friend Luis Borges, 16, describes her. "She's an awesome person."
She's also friendly with all of her classmates, he says, regardless of their social standing.
Kids who are secretly gay write her letters asking for advice: "How do I come out to my parents?" "I don't know if I'm gay or not, what do I do?" "Should I tell my friends?"
Straight kids, too, turn to her in times of trouble.
"They've come to me about guy problems," Duarte says. "God knows, I'm the last person to come to about guy problems. But I do what I can."
Duarte attended high school at a time of rapid change for gay teens. Extremely uncommon 15 years ago, the openly gay kid is now a fact of life at most urban and suburban schools, and some gay teens -- girls especially -- say that their classmates are very accepting.
Still, advocates at the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network of Chicago could name only one other local case of an openly gay homecoming queen. A boy was recently elected homecoming queen at a Chicago public school, says network spokeswoman Hilary Marsh, who declined to give the boy's name.
Leyden High Schools Supt. Kathryn Robbins released a written statement about Duarte's selection as queen, saying, "It says a lot about how well-liked and well-respected Luz is by her classmates.
"I think it also says much about West Leyden students' open and accepting nature and their ability to see beyond the labels that we sometimes put on people."
There have been at least three news reports nationwide of openly gay kids being elected king or queen at prom or homecoming, two in California and one in Washington.
"Even though we haven't seen this very often yet, I suspect that we will," Marsh said.
At West Leyden, the homecoming queen selection process began with a vote by the seniors, who selected 30 girls from a field of about 175.
Duarte, who has close-cropped hair and a pierced tongue, says she was "kind of shocked" to be named one of the top 30, because she is different from past queens, who have tended to fit the traditional cheerleader mold.
After the selection of the 30 semifinalists, the junior and senior classes narrowed the field to seven finalists, with the top vote-getter announced at a schoolwide assembly.
By then, the remarks of classmates suggested to Duarte that she was one of two top contenders, the other one being a cheerleader.
The choice of escort was easy; Duarte planned to take her girlfriend, who is 22, to the prom and she wanted to spend the other major senior social event with Borges, her best friend.
She rented a white tux from a sales clerk who thought she was a boy, and secured the school district's permission to bypass the usual white dress or skirt.
At the assembly, the princesses, including Duarte, emerged from a cardboard castle, walked down an aisle of flower-bearing semifinalists and kissed their escorts.
Then they went up to the stage and the principal announced the queen.
When Duarte's name was called, she thought, "Wait. What?" There was a second of silence and Duarte looked over at the expression on the face of the other frontrunner.
"Oh, yeah," Duarte thought. "I'm queen."
The crowd surged forward. Duarte's classmates threw their arms around her. Her mother screamed and cried.
Duarte was touched, even if the rhinestone tiara didn't feel quite right.
"She wore it one time for one picture," Borges says. "I think I wore it more than her."
On the night of the big dance, Duarte arrived late. She hadn't enjoyed herself at a previous homecoming because, embarrassed by her "terrible" dancing skills, she mostly stood on the sidelines.
But this time people she didn't even know came up to her to congratulate her, and classmate after classmate asked her to dance.
"You know what? I'm the queen and I'm gonna have fun," she said to herself before hitting the dance floor for an hour and a half.
"I'm gonna make the most of my night."
Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?
A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.
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There's an old saying in Tennessee I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says, fool me once, shame on shame on you. Fool me you can't get fooled again." George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
---------------------------------- "Give it up for George W. Bush, the best friend international jihad ever had."
posted on December 1, 2004 08:38:46 AM new
A) What did the "King" have to say? Who or WHAT was te King?
B) 7th grade=12 years old. Explain to me how a twelve year old "knew she was gay." Talk about parents not instilling values!!!!
Even *IF* you lend credence to the theory that there is a gene or physical reason behind sexual preferences, then it would take a significant amount of time after puberty to realize you were not "normal". A twelve year old could not come to this conclusion without help.
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Brian S. - "God's own emissary to the Vendio heathens"
posted on December 1, 2004 08:56:58 AM new
::B) 7th grade=12 years old. Explain to me how a twelve year old "knew she was gay." Talk about parents not instilling values!!!! ::
So tell us replay... at what age did you start becoming attracted to others? Did your parents suddenly give you clearance on a specific biurthday to fell sexual attraction? What do parents have to do with a persons sexual attractions?
::it would take a significant amount of time after puberty to realize you were not "normal". A twelve year old could not come to this conclusion without help. ::
HUH? You are telling me that it would take a great deal of time and outside interference for someone to realize that there were not attracted to the opposite sex. Is there some reason that you think that homosexuals are complete idiots that are incapable of understanding their own emotions?
I assume that when you became aware of your sexuality you did not need third party intervention to understand it. Why do you believe others do?
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on December 1, 2004 09:45:20 AM new
As far as I can remember, I would guess it hit me at about age twelve, the same age as the girl in question.
I certainly can't say I understood everything about it at the time. If all my friends had been attracted to the opposite sex and I was not, I would be confused. It would take TIME to sort these things out.
No, my suggestion is that someone said "You're Gay" and she accepted it at face value. Society makes it almost "cool" to be gay in some cases. If there were some very influential gay or liberal person in her life that pushed this veiwpoint on her, then it's not an informed decision.
Now I'm only halfway kidding: Maybe she just LOOKS like a boy, so no one cared enough to argue. I've seen several gay women who if it weren't for the boobs you couldn't tell they weren't men. From the sound of the OP, that MAY be the case here.
And yes, I'm against ANY sexual expression at age twelve. Even though some "children" may be equipped by then to physically DO IT, that doesn't mean they are emotionally able to handle it.
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Brian S. - "God's own emissary to the Vendio heathens"
posted on December 1, 2004 09:35:50 PM new
replay says,
"A twelve year old could not come to this conclusion without help."
I guess you're right on that. Just like a 3 year old who was "saved" into god's kingdom of heaven. Imagine that, a 3 year old understanding the complicated concept of death, dying and going to heaven. She must of had some help or influence with that too, don't you think.
Many of the gay people that I know also said the first knew they had sexual feeling towards people of the same sex at about the age of twelve. Some as early as ten.
Bigots are miserable people. Prevent Bigotry through Education.
posted on December 2, 2004 06:26:08 AM new
I already gave my opinion on the three year old in the other thread. I don't believe we have the entire story there either.
Homosexuality is a CHOICE. You cannot make an informed CHOICE at twelve years old. Children do not have the knowledge or ability to resist pressure to make that kind of a CHOICE at that age.
Is my position clear enough? I could CHOOSE to explain it more, but I CHOOSE not to.
--------------------------------------
Brian S. - "God's own emissary to the Vendio heathens"
posted on December 2, 2004 12:03:26 PM new
You cannot make an informed CHOICE at twelve years old.
That is your opinion. People at that age do know what they like and what they don't like. People at that age can get excited and fantasize about people of the same sex. They may not understand it completly until a little later in life.
Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?
A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.
--------------------------------------
There's an old saying in Tennessee I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says, fool me once, shame on shame on you. Fool me you can't get fooled again." George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
---------------------------------- "Give it up for George W. Bush, the best friend international jihad ever had."
posted on December 2, 2004 02:14:02 PM new
Replay, for the sake of arguement, let's say homosexuality was a choice (which I'm 100% convinced it's not). What difference does it make?
I've said this before - I babysat a boy that lived down the road from me. I knew he was gay by the time he was 5 or 6. He's 22 now and we're very close. He's told me many times that I was the only one that understood him while he was growing up.
posted on December 2, 2004 02:22:10 PM new
fenix03:
So tell us replay... at what age did you start becoming attracted to others? Did your parents suddenly give you clearance on a specific biurthday to fell sexual attraction? What do parents have to do with a persons sexual attractions?
So tell us Fenix:
At what age would / did you rent a Tux for your daughter or buy a dress for your son?
posted on December 2, 2004 02:57:32 PM new
dad says,
So tell us Fenix:
At what age would / did you rent a Tux for your daughter or buy a dress for your son?
That is the All Time Stupid Comment ever posted. Your comment assumes forced position on a child, and not a personal choice. The girl made a choice to wear a tux. As linda says, "we are a free people".
replay says,
"Homosexuality is a CHOICE. You cannot make an informed CHOICE at twelve years old."
Did you CHOOSE your sexuality? Or did it come natural to you?
"Children do not have the knowledge or ability to resist pressure to make that kind of a CHOICE at that age."
So are there people who are pressuring teens to be gay?
"Is my position clear enough? I could CHOOSE to explain it more, but I CHOOSE not to."
No, your position is not real clear. If you truly believed in your position, then you would CHOOSE to stand by it. I think that you are at the end of your rope. I think that you are running low on emotional responses and the facts are overwhelming you.
Bigots are miserable people. Prevent Bigotry through Education.
posted on December 2, 2004 03:10:17 PM newThat is the All Time Stupid Comment ever posted. Your comment assumes forced position on a child, and not a personal choice. The girl made a choice to wear a tux. As linda says, "we are a free people".
Your Sharp as a Tack!
And as Dumb as one too!
So you assume at 12 Yrs.Old she rented/bought her own Tux?
[ edited by dadofstickboy on Dec 2, 2004 03:11 PM ]
posted on December 2, 2004 05:17:32 PM new
Hey Dad - before you start calling other dumb as a rock you might want to brush up on your reading comprehension skills. She realized her sexual inclinations at 12. She rented the tux at 18 when she was elected Homecoming Queen.
Oh, and by the way... since she was 18 her senior year, she actually would hav been 13 when she was in 7th grade and informed her classmates she was gay.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
[ edited by fenix03 on Dec 2, 2004 05:19 PM ]
posted on December 2, 2004 06:20:25 PM new
" I think that you are running low on emotional responses and the facts are overwhelming you. "
Actually, I don't give a crap one way or the other if people CHOOSE to be gay. I am certain my emotions aren't involved, unlike logansdad and other liberals who have a REASON to be emotional about it.
"Did you CHOOSE your sexuality? Or did it come natural to you? "
But trying to blame it on genetics is just lame. YES, I was born with my sexuality. And so was everyone else. It's called basic reproductive anatomy. What you CHOOSE to do with your boy or girl parts is up to you. You can choose to have intercourse with the oppostie sex. You can CHOOSE to have it with the same sex. You can choose to screw an electical outlet or a donkey if you want. Or you can choose not to use your parts at all.
"So are there people who are pressuring teens to be gay? "
Absolutely. In this case, it was probably a relative or family friend. Or at twelve years old maybe she thought it looked like fun on TV. Look at the way they are glorified on TV and the News.
"What do parents have to do with a persons sexual attractions? "
It's called morals. We've discussed this too many time to go any further.
"That is your opinion."
Yup. And you don't have an ounce of valid scientific proof to show me a genetic link. A twelve year-old does not make this kind of decision in a vacuum. This kid was indoctrinated into the cult of homosexuality.
And yes, I'm focusing on the twelve-year-old aspect. I don't care what she did at 18.
[ edited by replaymedia on Dec 2, 2004 06:29 PM ]
posted on December 2, 2004 07:53:16 PM newHey Dad - before you start calling other dumb as a rock you might want to brush up on your reading comprehension skills.
I read and comprehend just fine.
I also don't read C&P crap,never have,never will no matter who posted it.
I follow and make my comments on the discussion that follows.
I'm only interested in what is said here in the group I'm talking with.
Not some C&P story wrote by some Bleeding Heart Liberal reporter at some previous time.
So if I seem stupid to you,it's because I read and commented on what was written by posters like yourself!
[ edited by dadofstickboy on Dec 2, 2004 07:59 PM ]
Prevent Bigotry through Education.