posted on February 1, 2005 05:53:55 PM new
Dear President Bush:
Congratulations on your victory.
Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the North
East.
We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.
So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governator, stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart, we can live with that.)
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss'. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the technological innovation in Alabama.
We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the redstates pay their fair share. Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that.
Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies? But heck, the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs. Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California or New York wine at your state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. (Ouch,
bet that hurts!)
Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States' citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for
absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.
Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.
Sincerely,
California
Absolute faith has been shown, consistently, to breed intolerance. And intolerance, history teaches us, again and again, begets violence.
---------------------------------- "Give it up for George W. Bush, the best friend international jihad ever had."
posted on February 2, 2005 05:39:11 AM new
Well crowfarm that is why I answered like I did. You seem to be board critic, get over yourself. Why don't you just quit insulting and start posting like an adult. Opps did I say that. That will never happen. I don't think she gets the concept of a discussion board.
posted on February 2, 2005 07:02:56 AM newNo doubt written by a 12 year old that only listens to what her/him parents tell him/her
I am glad you are teaching your children how to read and write properly so they can spread your agenda, Libra.
Why are you so uptight? Can you not see the humor in this? Like anyone is actually going to believe California wants to leave the Union and take all the other blue states including Wisconsin with.
Absolute faith has been shown, consistently, to breed intolerance. And intolerance, history teaches us, again and again, begets violence.
---------------------------------- "Give it up for George W. Bush, the best friend international jihad ever had."
posted on February 2, 2005 08:00:32 AM new
logansdad
They can include the northern portion of Ohio in that as well.
Cheryl
"No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." ~ P.J. O'Rourke
posted on February 2, 2005 12:13:31 PM new
Well Logansdad the democrats only won by 10,000 votes. If California wants to leave don't let the door hit them on the way out. Makes no difference to me. Still you can't get over that Kerry was the wrong candidate who couldn't keep his lies from the truths. The election is over, get it, over, move on and try and find someone who will answer all your prayers. Maybe Barney Frank would be your choice. These 4 years are very important years and the people in the US knew that and that is why Bush won the election. Now tell me would you want a traitor like Kerry as your President?
Well I have an idea for all the people who were dissatisfied with the election move to Canada....
_________________
posted on February 2, 2005 01:12:58 PM newThe election is over, get it, over, move on and try and find someone who will answer all your prayers.
I am over the election. Looking forward to the 2006 state races already. I have someone that answers my prayers - God.
Now tell me would you want a traitor like Kerry as your President?
As long as you dont mind having a lying idiot sevant like Bush as your President
Absolute faith has been shown, consistently, to breed intolerance. And intolerance, history teaches us, again and again, begets violence.
---------------------------------- "Give it up for George W. Bush, the best friend international jihad ever had."
