posted on September 9, 2006 09:48:11 PM new
Published on Thursday, August 31, 2006 by the Baltimore Sun (Maryland)
A Plan to Save the Country
by Garrison Keillor
It's the best part of summer, the long, lovely passage into fall. A procession of lazy, golden days that my sandy-haired, gap-toothed little girl has been painting, small abstract masterpieces in tempera and crayon and glitter, reminiscent of Franz Kline or Willem de Kooning (his early glitter period). She put a sign out front, "Art for Sale," and charged 25 cents per painting. Cheap at the price.
A teacher gave her this freedom to sit un-self-consciously and put paint on paper. A gentle, 6-foot-8 guy named Matt who taught art at her preschool. Her swimming teachers gave her freedom from fear of water. So much that has made this summer a pleasure for her I trace to specific teachers, and so it's painful to hear about public education sinking all around us.
A high school math class of 42! Everybody knows you can't teach math to 42 kids at once. The classroom smells bad because the custodial staff has been cut back. The teacher must whip his pupils into shape to pass the federal No Child Left Untested program. This is insanity, the legacy of Republicans and their tax-cutting and their hostility to secular institutions.
Last spring, I taught a college writing course and had the privilege of hanging out with people in their early 20s, an inspirational experience in return for which I tried to harass them about spelling and grammar and structure. My interest in being 21 again is less than my interest in having a frontal lobotomy, but the wit and passion and good-heartedness of these kids, which they try to conceal under their exquisite cool, are the hope of this country. You have to advocate for young people, or else what are we here for?
I keep running into retirees in their mid-50s, free to collect seashells and write bad poetry and shoot video of the Grand Canyon, and goody for them, but they're not the future. My college kids are graduating with a 20-pound ball of debt chained to their ankles. That's not right, and you know it.
This country is squashing its young. We're sending them to die in a war we don't believe in anymore. We're cheating them so we can offer tax relief to the rich. And we're stealing from them so that old gaffers like me, who want to live forever, can go in for an MRI if we have a headache.
A society that pays for MRIs for headaches and can't pay teachers a decent wage has made a dreadful choice. But health care costs are ballooning, eating away at the economy. The boomers are getting to an age where their knees need replacing and their hearts need a quadruple bypass - which they feel entitled to - but our children aren't entitled to a damn thing. Any goombah with a Ph.D. in education can strip away French and German, music and art, dumb down the social sciences, offer Britney Spears instead of Shakespeare, and there is nothing the kid can do except hang out in the library, which is being cut back too.
This week, we mark the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and the Current Occupant's line, "You're doing a heckuva job," which already is in common usage, a joke, a euphemism for utter ineptitude. It's sure to wind up in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, a summation of his occupancy.
Annual interest on the national debt now exceeds all government welfare programs combined. We'll be in Iraq for years to come. Hard choices need to be made, and given the situation we're in, I think we must bite the bullet and say no more health care for card-carrying Republicans. It just doesn't make sense to invest in longevity for people who don't believe in the future. Let them try faith-based medicine, let them pray for their arteries to be reamed and their hips to be restored, and leave science to the rest of us.
Cutting out health care to one-third of the population - the folks with Bush-Cheney bumper stickers, who still believe the man is doing a heckuva job - will save enough money to pay off the national debt, not a bad legacy for Republicans. As Scrooge said, let them die and reduce the surplus population. In return, we can offer them a reduction in the estate tax. All in favor, blow your nose.
Garrison Keillor's "A Prairie Home Companion" can be heard Saturday nights on public radio stations across the country.
posted on September 10, 2006 08:49:38 AM new
You're welcome! I'm not trying to start a cat fight here in the roundtable, but I think this is worth reading. Garrison K. is a thoughtful, caring, intelligent man who carries a lot of weight in this country. I'm glad he's stepped forward to opine.
posted on September 10, 2006 05:35:28 PM newI'm glad he's stepped forward to opine.
Me too, and I agree with everything he's said here. I do think though, that even though tongue-in-cheek, the death wish stuff is counter productive. The right will have a field day with it. He could'a left out just the Scrooge quote and still gotten his point across.
____________________________________________
Grow your own Dope. Plant a Republican.
posted on September 10, 2006 07:54:19 PM new
I might give the poor fellow a C+ for effort to make a point.
Garrison Keillor said, "A society that pays for MRIs for headaches and can't pay teachers a decent wage has made a dreadful choice".
I prefer a more straightforward presentation of the problems that we face today. We know that there is a serious need for universal health care in this country and we know that teachers deserve a higher salary but how on earth do you compare these two problems and blame our society for choosing to finance only health care when in fact neither problem is adequately financed.
After reading statements like that one throughout the essay, I am not impressed. But heaven knows he tried.
posted on September 10, 2006 08:54:45 PM new
Helen,
Nobody pays for MRI test for Americans if they make over $24,000 a year. The writer must have been talking about us tax payers paying for MRI for illegals.
Americans lose their homes and all else to heath providers. Illegals walk free.
I know a man living on S.S. who now he is 63 years old. Last year while still working he made $31,000 dollars and paid taxes on that amount. He can't get help from any agency for his Hospital bills because the Agencies and Hospitals all use the income he made while working. This man spent 5 days in the hospital last Christmas time and owes $30,000 dollars to hospitals. He has been paying $200 dollars a month. The Hospitals say that is not good enough and have hired a Lawyer to start suing him.
THAT IS WHAT HARD WORKING AMERICANS GET WHEN THEY GET SICK.
posted on September 10, 2006 10:50:23 PM new
I agree with you, prof, that some of his statements are over the top. I think he must be danged angry to come out so strongly like that.
posted on September 11, 2006 05:07:58 AM new
Right, Bigpeepa. Most bankruptcy in the United States is caused by unaffordable medical expense. In order to get an MRI for your headeache, you must first have an insurance policy. Over 45 MILLION people in this country including CHILDREN do not have that option.
The writer of this article tries to portray those over 50 as dregs on society sucking up funds while spending their time collecting sea shells and shooting videos and spending an inordinate amount of public funds on medical care. WTF?
He needs to get off his fat ass and mingle with the people in this country over 50 who, if they can find a job, are still working to survive.
What a pitiful effort. Does anyone really understand this author's "point"?
posted on September 11, 2006 09:16:03 AM newIt just doesn't make sense to invest in longevity for people who don't believe in the future.
A certain portion of the population is retiring at a younger age and they do have the ability to pay for their health care but seem only concerned about their own longevity and perhaps do not take into account that the young people will be their future and that money has to be invested in their education and welfare.
Those who seem most concerned about the future of the country seem to be the struggling working class who cannot afford to retire early and cannot always afford their own health care.
posted on September 11, 2006 10:20:46 AM new
Helen, do you know who Garrison Keillor is??? I ask, because he surely has a finger on the pulse of the nation, traveling as he does, brilliant as he is, and compassionate, too.
His point about the mid-50s retirees was that we need to care more about the future--and that young people are being saddled with debt that we are putting on them; I think his statement is aimed more at the decision-makers AND the voters who keep approving debt. JMHO.
posted on September 11, 2006 10:34:48 AM new
Helen, when he said that I think he meant the Republicans who don't seem to care about the future of the country. I think he wrote it with a touch of sarcasm towards them as they don't seem concerned about what is really happening and how it will affect others down the road. I don't believe he was categorizing all over 50....... just those who carry Bush/Cheney bumper stickers and think they are doing a heckuva job.
posted on September 11, 2006 11:48:04 AM new "Helen, do you know who Garrison Keillor is??? I ask, because he surely has a finger on the pulse of the nation, traveling as he does, brilliant as he is, and compassionate, too."
It's his writing ability that fails to impress me. Based on this essay, I have no idea what he cares about or where his "finger" is located. I could rip this tripe apart sentence by sentence but it's not worth the effort.
posted on September 11, 2006 01:07:41 PM new
I've read a lot of his published short stories and essays, and this one is not up to his usual standard. Assuming it's copied in it's entirety, I'd say he, and his editor for letting it through, were having a real bad day. On the other hand, being an excellent author of fiction doesn't necessarily ensure that same person will be an excellent editorialist.
____________________________________________
Grow your own Dope. Plant a Republican.
posted on September 12, 2006 08:20:59 PM new
You're full of #*!@ Colin. Describe three of his pieces you've read besides this one, dare ya. If you're quick you can look them up at CliffNotes online. To pass that kind of judgement on the basis of one short opinion shows how narrow minded you are.
____________________________________________
Grow your own Dope. Plant a Republican.
posted on September 13, 2006 06:24:57 AM new
No matter what position on the political spectrum this guy may represent it would not change my opinion of the quality of this particular essay. Neither I, on the left or Colin, on the right should have to study Keillor's background or read half a dozen other essays, short stories or novels to understand or appreciate this particular essay. It should stand alone and in my opinion it does not.
BTW...another good commentary by Obermann that should not be misssed.
posted on September 13, 2006 10:20:09 AM new
Hey Colin,
Like I said before once again you showed there is no fix for NEO-CON STUPID.
AMERICA WILL NEVER LET PEOPLE LIKE YOU DECIDE WHAT WE WATCH OR LISTEN TO. YOU NEO-CONS ALREADY TRIED TO SHUT DOWN NPR AND FAILED I KNOW YOU REMEMBER.
BY THE WAY DID YOU KNOW THAT FOX NEWS HAS REPORTED THAT A FULL 1/2 OF THE CHILDREN 5 OR UNDER IN AMERICA ARE NONE WHITES. JUST THINK EVERYDAY A REPUBLICAN DIES AND A DEMOCRAT IS BORN TO REPLACE HIM. VERY GOOD NEWS FOR AMERICA'S FUTURE.
posted on September 13, 2006 09:15:55 PM new
Peabrain writes:
"Hey Colin,
Like I said before once again you showed there is no fix for NEO-CON STUPID.
AMERICA WILL NEVER LET PEOPLE LIKE YOU DECIDE WHAT WE WATCH OR LISTEN TO. YOU NEO-CONS ALREADY TRIED TO SHUT DOWN NPR AND FAILED I KNOW YOU REMEMBER.
BY THE WAY DID YOU KNOW THAT FOX NEWS HAS REPORTED THAT A FULL 1/2 OF THE CHILDREN 5 OR UNDER IN AMERICA ARE NONE WHITES. JUST THINK EVERYDAY A REPUBLICAN DIES AND A DEMOCRAT IS BORN TO REPLACE HIM. VERY GOOD NEWS FOR AMERICA'S FUTURE."
And to think some here call me a racist.
This is the most racist thing I've seen on the internet.
More and more black Americans are moving to the Republican party every day.
It you and your kind, Peabrain, that's forcing them to make a change to the right
You are without a doubt the least intelligent individual I’ve come across yet..
Prof,
Why would I bother with three pieces he's done. I've read several, heard even more. I like some of his humor but it's always slanted to the left.
posted on September 14, 2006 04:06:42 AM new
Hey Colin,
Once again Colin you prove there is no fix for NEO-CON STUPIDS LIKE YOU.
Tell your racist crap to Fox news not me. Fox news reported 1/2 of the children 5 and under are non whites not me. BTW, the Fox news guy that reported about the non white babies went on to say the whites have to get busy and make babies.
My point was everyday some old white racist REPUBLICAN DIES and a Democrat is born. I believe that's very good for the country.
THE GOOD NEWS IS IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS THERE WILL BE LESS STUPID NEO-CONS IN POWER AFTER THE 11/07/06 ELECTIONS.
[ edited by bigpeepa on Sep 14, 2006 04:08 AM ]
posted on September 14, 2006 05:50:52 AM new
COLIN THE NO FIX NEO-CON STUPID. ITS FOX NEWS STUPID. GET INFORMED AND QUIT MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF.
Gibson: "Make more babies" because in "[t]wenty-five years ... the majority of the population is Hispanic"
Summary: On The Big Story, John Gibson urged viewers to "[d]o your duty. Make more babies," because he had found out, from a recently released report, that nearly half of all children under the age of five in the United States are minorities. Gibson added: "You know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic." Gibson later repeated: "To put it bluntly, we need more babies."
On the May 11 edition of Fox News' The Big Story, host John Gibson advised viewers during the "My Word" segment of his program to "[d]o your duty. Make more babies." He then cited a May 10 article, which reported that nearly half of all children under the age of five in the United States are minorities. Gibson added: "By far, the greatest number [of children under five] are Hispanic. You know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic."
