posted on September 29, 2000 09:41:50 AM new
I received my annual freakin phone call from the Queen this a.m. As per usual, she is behaving less than egalitarian.
A few years ago I attended a pop-tart festival in a nearby town and we kinda bumped into each other. I'm trying to be delicate here - but the truth is that it was the Queen who wasn't watching what she was doing.
Anyway, after we talked for a bit I invited her to come by for a visit anytime. It's one of those things you say to a Queen - but, I was just making conversation. I had no idea she would actually take me seriously.
Ever since then she calls around this time of year to schedule her visit. For those of you
who have ever had this happen, you can understand what a hassle it has become for me.
This is the problem. She's been here every year for the last six - generally comes around Halloween as she really enjoys passing out the candy to all the trick or treaters. In the first place, we would like to have just one Halloween spent with just our family and not feel obligated to have someone else join in. Besides, she picks out the good stuff and just hands out the crummier stuff - so, we come off looking like cheapies in the neighborhood.
Secondly, she mentioned that our prior sleeping arrangements might be a problem for her this year as she claims to have developed a problem with heights and sometimes gets
nose bleeds from sleeping on the top bunk. This is a problem because my son definitely
prefers the bottom bunk and was only being gracious letting her sleep in his room in the
first place.
I know she's the Queen (I think she said of England - but, I forget that part) -- But, even a Queen shouldn't be so persnickity. IMHO, she doesn't even act like a queen.
posted on September 29, 2000 12:37:48 PM new
I guess I am a little dense too.
Who????
I get this vision of the Queen of England
hoping up on the top bunk dressed in frumpy flannel nightgown, pearls, oversized handbag
and a really, really large ugly hat.Just cracks me up.
I have found some good mother in law repellent excuses.
"Come down with the flu and can't have visitors."
"Son has the pox."
"Spraying for termites won't be in the house."
"Family emergency."
"This is not motel six you cheap ------"
Okay maybe the last oone was a little less than polite.
I don't do house guests well especially not
ones whose personalitys I don't enjoy to begin with.
posted on September 29, 2000 03:34:50 PM newHi Maui The Queen claims that she's the Queen of England - I do tend to attract that sort but I think she may be just claiming to be royalty so that she'll win an invite. I'm sooooo particular about my guest. To be frank, she's very snooty and generally a very unegalitarious type.
Tegan Your description is very close to the mark. However, since she is a Queen (or so she says) we always allow her to use the ladder to reach the top bunk. It would be hugely crass for me to make her highness "hop up" Another problem with that whole scenario is that she insist on throwing her crown over one of the metal railings and it's scratching all the paint off (it is a gorgeous red metal bunk) - I've been very polite about it but it doesn't do a bit of good. She waits until we're in the bed - then I hear a loud clanking sound - the sound of heavy metal (all those damned jewels) scraping heavy metal.
ooops. Hubby just called asking me on a date - I'm going.
Confession time: My post was just having a little fun - I'm thinkin it went over like a fart in church. Oh well. I needed a place to practice the new word I picked up from Plsmith on another thread. Just trying to bring a little laughter to the board. Flunked again -But, I'll keep trying.
posted on September 29, 2000 03:39:14 PM new
lol...well, at least you intertained yourself, eh? And thats a good thing to do, Im thinkin'.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Egalitarian is a good word. Since piffle hasnt been used lately and the person who taught us all those cool new words isnt around much (I miss her, too), then maybe Pat will give us new ones? Piffling Egalitarian-itus?
posted on September 29, 2000 04:01:12 PM new
Now Im hungry too....but no "out to dinner" here. Gonna go fix dinner. Have fun in the aisle at Home Depot (find a dark hidey hole and pretend youre in the back seat of the car, *snicker* but dont get busted)
posted on September 29, 2000 04:02:02 PM new
The sad thing is that I really am excited about a dinner out and Home Depot. Looking at all those tools really lights up my hubby's baby blues! I let him buy a gadget and he's putty in my hands.
I knew I was old when I heard my mothers words come out of my mouth - I asked my son "Do you want me to ground you?" What a stupid question to ask a kid, huh? LOL
posted on September 29, 2000 04:44:24 PM new
Heck, Mybiddness, I thought your story was funny, and was unhappy that I couldn't come up with anything clever to add.
Farts in church are a *good* thing -- guaranteed to get ya your own pew...
Another problem with that whole scenario is that she insist on throwing her crown over one of the metal railings and it's scratching all the paint off (it is a gorgeous red metal bunk) - I've been very polite about it but it doesn't do a bit of good. She waits until we're in the bed - then I hear a loud clanking sound - the sound of heavy metal (all those damned jewels) scraping heavy metal.
I needed a place to practice the new word I picked up from Plsmith on another thread. Just trying to bring a little laughter to the board. Flunked again -But, I'll keep trying. 