posted on October 8, 2007 05:55:48 AM new
New Element Found
The recent hurricanes and skyrocketing oil and gasoline prices helped to
prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a major
research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet
known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy
neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called 'morons' which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called 'peons.'
Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because
it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount
of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would
normally take less than a second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will
actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming 'isodopes.' This characteristic of moron
promotion leads most scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons
reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as 'Critical Morass.'
When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes "Administratium' (Am) - an element
which radiates just as much energy as Gv, since it has half as many peons
but twice as many morons.
posted on October 8, 2007 10:12:58 AM new
A lot of new elements are being discovered by scientists lately.
The densest element yet known to science has been discovered. The new element has been named "Bushcronium."
Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 911.
These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol for Bushcronium is "W."
Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as these morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming a large cluster of idiotopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a critical mass also known as "Critical Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element radiating several orders of magnitude more energy, mostly as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
"In my experience, those who do not like you fall into two categories: the stupid, and the envious. - John Wilmot, the Second Earl of Rochester
posted on October 8, 2007 10:32:34 AM new
While these posts were meant to be amusing and they are, they have such a ring of truth that I really want to throw up my hands and head for that remote cabin in the woods...sad that this country has become such a mess...such a joke.
posted on October 8, 2007 10:37:00 AM new
Prof... did you write this??? If not, you better watch your back b/c Linduh will be on here claiming you plagiarized it.
