posted on December 26, 2008 06:31:41 AM new
this question is for all of you-it seems a woman is contented with few friends as long as she has her family while a man needs more,he needs to go out and network and befriend other men to bond,exchange ideas and strike up firendship and find out what is going on out there?
a man cant just stay home,if he does not have a place to go,it seems his family will bear the wrath.
is it because it is the nature of man or is it because a man is supposed to bring in enough bacon for the whole family and the best to achieve this is to go out and mingle and seek opportunity ,a chance of improving his lot? more bacon perhaps?
*
Economic Reform act of Chairman Obama of the socialist States of America :
10 ounces of meat per month,half a yard of cotton per year per adult.
Hellilujah!
posted on December 26, 2008 07:52:33 AM new
I think your proposition is a gross oversimplification. In my experience women are far more social than men are and count many more people they consider actual friends. I know hundreds of people who I interact with in my two lives, ranching and education, but virtually none of them are true friends. I can count my true friends on one hand, and I like it that way just fine.
As far as "a man can't just stay home": That may well be true in the larger society where people live somewhere, but don't really have a true home. A place where they are rooted, a place they are an integral part of. That to me is the true nature of "Home". Given that the average American family stays in a house less than 10 years, I'd say most people are "homeless". You can't ever be truly home if you haven't really got one to begin with.
The world is a great big interesting place, and I've seen a fair bit of it, but I'm only truly at peace here at Home.
posted on December 26, 2008 08:03:42 AM new
This DOES NOT apply to my husband at all. I am much more social and he works out of our home and prefers to stay in on time off as well. Our family certainly does not bear any wrath from his choices or lack of (according to what you state).
I am sorry if this is your life but a blanket statement does not apply to all or even most men.
posted on December 26, 2008 09:52:33 AM new
Not at all like the men I've known! Sociologists asked men, a few years ago, to name their best friends. 99% of them named their wives--and then most of them were stumped for the next name.
On the other hand, women could name 3 - 5 "best" friends, and many did not name their husbands.
Most of the married men I know are very happy to be home. I'm sorry if your original post describes your family life, hwahwa.
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posted on December 26, 2008 09:55:10 PM new
That's not like the men I've known either. There was a discussion here one time on women needing other close women friends to bond with and I've never been that way. We moved to an area where many of my social friends reside and next to the most social neighbors we've ever encountered.
I've constantly tried to explain that I'm okay and not lonely or bored or a snob but seems like some people don't understand that a person can be happy with their own company and can keep busy doing a multitude of different things in a day without having to do it with others. My partner was slightly more social when I met him but over the years he's grown to be more like me.
Recently I came across a paper on quietude and shyness, about the Finnish culture and it explains how I feel. In Finland being quiet and being alone is a natural way to be in harmony with oneself and the environment whereas in America, being that way can be considered antisocial and shyness is considered a negative. So it's probably an inherited trait for me and I think much of it depends on individual personality, not whether you happen to be a man or a woman.
posted on December 28, 2008 12:24:57 PM new
interesting posts,but all of you missed the point-the reason I ask is not they like or dislike family life as witnessed by 'staying home',it is more of a socio economic issue,do men go out and make friends and socialise because they see this as a good way of finding opportunity,learning new ways of improving their socio economic well being or rather the well being of his entire family as most men are the chief breadwinner of his family.
Before any of you jump the gun and say you are perfectly happy not making more and contented with whatever you have,think what it would b e like if you dont have what you have now or how did you get where you are now?
we cant all be born with a silver spoon in our mouth.how many of us are given a farm,ranch,a thriving business,a secure job/profession on day one ?
In my lifetime I see many entrepreneurs.many self employed business men who work hard to cultivate business ties and many such ties have their origin thru quasi social and business contacts.
A few of us can be loners and still do fine and pay our bills on time and then some,but then like the saying 'no man is an island',we need fresh ideas to make a better mousetrap.we may be fine now but who knows,10 years down the road,our skills,our way of making a living could be outdated.
as for women being more sociable and having more friends,there is another side to this -single women are often not invited to mixed gatherings once they lost their male companions and friendship among women i dont want to get into controversy,but how lasting is such freindship when most women bicker over petty stuff like who is the beauty queen du jour? or why should so and so be doing better than me by being more sought after by opposite sex,garner more attention and marrying someone with more earning power?
I am going to put on my helmet now and brace for hails and wind and thunderstorm,I bet many of y ou are going to tell me how hard you work to get where you are with little help from anyone and how lasting female friendship is?and how you will standby/die or sacrifice for your friend or would you?
*
Economic Reform act of Chairman Obama of the socialist States of America :
10 ounces of meat per month,half a yard of cotton per year per adult.
Hellilujah!
posted on December 28, 2008 01:37:19 PM new
Hwahwa: Where do you live? What you're describing sounds a lot like the Japanese culture, where the businessmen go out at night, served by geishas often, and the "little woman" stays home. Are you in Japan?
There's friendship and then there's real friendship. All women aren't catty and petty! We can make friends for life. And . . . here it comes . . . we CONFIDE in each other. We learn to KEEP SECRETS. We're there for each other when we're joyous or in pain.
In my experience, in America, men pal around with each other, go to bars or golf or attend sports events, but frequently they don't share personal stuff most of the time.
_____________________
posted on December 29, 2008 06:29:49 AM newinteresting posts,but all of you missed the point-the reason I ask is not they like or dislike family life as witnessed by 'staying home',it is more of a socio economic issue,do men go out and make friends and socialise because they see this as a good way of finding opportunity,learning new ways of improving their socio economic well being or rather the well being of his entire family as most men are the chief breadwinner of his family.
You're looking to stereotype men here hwahwa. I think you'd best ask men who go out a lot why they do it. I bet you'll get a different answer from everyone you ask. For that matter, if you asked a bunch of women the same question, I bet you'd get similarly different responses.
I'd have to agree with you Roadsmith. In my experience there are certain personal lines that aren't crossed when men get together. I have one good male friend with whom I confide personal issues, but even then, not very often.
posted on January 1, 2009 07:25:00 PM new
I am here,not in Japan.
This is posed as a question,not a statement like steroptype man or woman.
May be I am not getting the point across,this is meant to be socio economic rather than personal,objective rather than subjective.
I guess this is not the right forum to ask.
*
Economic Reform act of Chairman Obama of the socialist States of America :
10 ounces of meat per month,half a yard of cotton per year per adult.
Hellilujah!
posted on January 2, 2009 06:43:32 AM new
Actually you usually never do get your point across. You posed this as a statement and well no one else seems to know anyone like this.
