posted on October 14, 2000 10:02:40 AM new
After four years of feeling sick to death most of the time, and two years pursuing my Social Security Disability claim, I received the judge's decision today. I've been denied.
I'm not sick enough. I have migraines two to three times a week, can't stand for more than 5 minutes, can't sit upright for more than 15, get lost on my way from the living room to the bedroom, sometimes can't talk and have trouble seeing. I'm in constant pain that's unrelieved by medication, but hey - I'm not sick enough. The only cheering (?) thought is that a friend (blue-collar worker) who was rendered paraplegic had to appeal HIS case too.
Sigh. Poor Val. She's been such a support through all this.
Thanks for letting me vent on my way to the appeals board.
posted on October 14, 2000 10:42:36 AM new
My neighbor has been going through this for the last 4 years, HCQ, so I am aware it is a long, drawn out and excrutiating process. From working in a State mental facility for the last 10 years, I learned from the benefits reimbursement officer that SS has a policy of denying EVERY claim initially, so they can weed out those who lack stamina or don't know to what to do once denied. (I think it sucks!) Have you been to Vocational Rehabilitation to be "re-trained" yet? Do you have a good lawyer?
The only bright side is that if you finally get approved, they have to pay you retroactively from the time of your initial application.
posted on October 14, 2000 10:53:20 AM new
I once dated a guy who had had a leg amputated. He received SS for awhile until they decided he wasn't eligible and expected him to return several thousand dollars. Needless to say it had already been spent of frivolous things like food and rent. Sheesh.
posted on October 14, 2000 11:09:24 AM new
Well, fortunately (or otherwise), I'm pretty familiar with the process as I used to work in SSDI/personal injury law. Next move is to the appeals council. And my laywer's my old boss. I don't know if knowing her that well makes me feel better or worse.
No vocational training's been suggested. I don't know how to "train around" the migraines that keep me in bed a couple days a week
It's just exhausting. I am sooooo fortunate to have such a supportive, uncomplaining partner, and I'm also glad to be able to get the worst of the emotion out of the way before she gets home so I can support HER. That's the hardest part - the sacrifices she's had to make.
Thanks folks. In the scheme of things this is pretty small, but I think I'll indulge myself and let it loom big for another couple hours.
posted on October 14, 2000 11:32:21 AM newHCQSorry to hear that! I was denied SSD Disability also. When I first went in to apply, I had a central line (IV line ending in the right atrium) for nutrition and fluids, had just gotten out of the hospital after 3 months, and was undergoing experimental treatment to avoid an experimental surgery. I was told that I looked fine and certainly could be working- I weighed 82 lbs and was 5 months pregnant. I have since been told it will go away. Geez, anatomic anamolies just go away? WOW! Who needs surgeons? I don't see M.D. after their names either.
posted on October 14, 2000 11:40:30 AM new
Hi, I just read your story, that is terrible. Have you considered any natural medicine alternatives? Unfortunately, I have heard that extended time on computers can contribute to migraines. I hope it does not affect your ability to post, you always have such good advice and opinions. I don't mean to be rude and please don't take this the wrong way, but if you can't sit up for more than 15 minutes, how do you type on the computer? Do you have a special overhead system? just curious. I really hope it all works out for you. Migranes are pure torture, my heart goes out to you. I pray you find a cure soon.
posted on October 14, 2000 11:49:42 AM new
HCQ-I know first hand, because I helped someone with this. They ALWAYS deny the first time. Was this your first claim?
Not sure of the reasoning of denial on thier part, I believe its because once someone gets the denial letter, they say, 'forget this', ( I believe they want you to forget it) you have to keep applying.
What finally happened, is getting a Disablilty lawyer, who gets 25% of any retro active (which you would most likely get, if you've been applying, your in the system) and with the lawyers help, the SSD (NOT SSI, which is something state? and totally different) came really fast. There are some really good ones out there. Doing it on your own, is ok, and you probably will get it, but takes a long time, getting a lawyer to handle it, works a lot faster. Just from the expierence I witnessed.
Edited to ADD: The SS lawyers cannot charge you anything, until you've received any retro active payments.
posted on October 14, 2000 12:03:21 PM new
Gee, all these warm fuzzies are really nice.
I've been reading the judge's decision. Remember the seller that had the bidder who wanted a refund because teh bidder thought the skirt he was bidding on was a pair of pants? I think this judge was that bidder. I know my memory's bad, but I swear we were NOT at the same hearing, nor did we read the same med transcripts.
(Sense of humor is recovering. Keep teh fuzzies coming, however.)
davidx, I post through the pain I have a daybed adjacent to my CPU and spend much of my time half-reclining in bed with my keyboard in my lap. As to natural remedies - BTDT. Basically my neurochemistry is shot, has been for years.
snowy, you've made me feel like I'm not alone in the Twilight Zone, although I'm not sure your story encourages any optimism on my part The "Gee, you LOOK fine" really sets my teeth on edge. I look "fine" because I have some self-respect and I don't end every sentence with a sigh of self-pity. And I bet you're in the same league.
Shelly, this was the end of Round 2. I'd already had the original application denied (60% are denied). This was the appeal to the administrative law judge (60% of the appeals get denied). Now it's on to the administrative council; from there it's to the federal courts. The fee structure works out to 25% of the retroactive amount collected, to a max of $4K. Costs aren't included, unfortunately. OR fortunately - hey, my lawyer wants to collect on his costs, he can either prosecute my case or take a number like any other creditor
posted on October 14, 2000 01:15:02 PM new
It is really good that the internet is available to people with disabilities such as yours. It would just be so much worse to have this affliction and just have to lie in bed with no outlet, I would imagine the depression alone would be awful. I am glad you have access and please do not give up hope that you will find a cure or at least some relief. There is a product on the market now called Pain Free, it is somewhat expensive but I have hear wonderful results! It is available at wal-mart.
posted on October 14, 2000 01:59:08 PM newHCQ: So sorry to hear of your plight , and saddened , but not surprised , to learn that this sort of affliction is not taken seriously .
I work twice a month with a woman in similar condition , and yes , it is truly real . I've witnessed the ravages of her compromised immune system , imbalanced brain chemistry ,( memory loss , coldness , total fatigue etc.) chronic pain and her daily battle with allergies/sensitivities to molds , perfumes , chemicals..you name it ! Modern medicine hurts more than heals , because of the sensitivities .
She , also , has a wonderful partner of 12 yrs , now retired ; and through all the hell these women are able to love and support each other and find reward in daily challenges . She has chosen to pursue natural remedies , as chemicals brought on terrible reactions , and has found most relief this last year from colostrum which has resulted in her lessening the (150 ) supplements of everything else. She does now receive SSI , but it took a while .
Never have I seen , felt or heard her partner " use " my friend's illness to chastise her or to garner self-pity .
Both the relationship and this type of illness seem to create a positivity and strength that eludes even many without this burden , HCQ ; and your Val is one such gem , it must be hard to not guilt-trip yourself now and then ... but if you do , and tell her , I bet she says " rubbish " , right ? Believe her . Please .
And no , please don't stop posting ! Even if you have to push the keys with a paintbrush in your teeth or something . I for one appreciate reading your totally individualistic posts ; your no-frills , no nonsense straightforward advice often interspersed with little giveaways about your worldwide experiences in earlier (more robust?) days ; or an unexpected jest ; and yes , even the "pith " and vinegar !
You have much to contend with HCQ and yet you find time for and share your considerable knowledge with , others ; us here at AW for example .
I wish you any respite from your ailment and success in your legal ( rightful ! ) claim .
posted on October 14, 2000 02:37:08 PM newdavidx, thanks for your kind words. Unfortunately, FMS pain is unlike a broken bone, or arthritic inflammation, or a toothache in that it's not got any external cause; and so it doesn't respond to antiinflammatories, opiods, or any other pain-relieving medication. There really isn't any "there" there; the nerves are responding (with pain sensations) to neurochemistry that TELLS them to feel pain - all the time. The only analogy I can think of is a hot flash, where your body reacts as if you were in a sauna even though you're not - and in both cases people tell you it's "all in your head" and to "get over it". Fortunately they've found the chemistry behind hot flashes; but the jury's still out on what causes FMS.
Thanks as well, uglimouse. Val called from her rugby tournament and, as I'd expected, said "No big deal."
So I guess I'll have to forego indulging further in self-pity Moderator, I think we can lock this (very kind) thread.
