posted on January 14, 2001 09:07:46 AM new
Hi all. My idea is that this be a game. Someone suggested that I try a personal ad to see what kind of responses I got. Here's my first draft. Doubt I'll use it for anything more than fun. Please add your comments.
Classic 1 BR, original design. Easily relocatable to your favorite spot, this could be your dream come true. Sturdy construction, built to last, a weathered exterior belies snug warmth within. Very open plan allows for easy comfort. Some deferred maintenance, needs only sprucing to be your getaway in the woods. Cleans up nicely for entertaining with flair.
Currently unoccupied-former owner joined commune. Come see how the home warms to people. Motivated seller-will negotiate. Don't miss your chance at this one! By appointment only.
posted on January 14, 2001 09:45:06 AM new
Dont forget to say pets are allowed since the "property" has lots of room and a large "center heart" for love. And, no deposit required as long as maintenance is kept up to par with continual additions of improvement (And make it a very long lease....at least 5 years with subject to renewal when it expires), heh.
posted on January 14, 2001 09:46:03 AM new
I don't know, zip. I'm seeing a 40' cargo trailer, kerosene heater on the inside and "Yellow Freight" or some such painted over on the exterior.
posted on January 14, 2001 11:13:46 AM new
Zip, this is reminding me of a guy who used to model his personals ads (in our local paper) on famous fictional characters. One time he was the skipper in Moby Dick. His only requirement in a mate? "No whales!"
posted on January 14, 2001 11:19:06 AM new
You shoulda been more specific then, zip. It does appear that they see something appealing, though.
...since I'm already here I'll suggest that you chew the metaphor just a bit more and drop the info re: former owner. The 1BR part isn't all that clear to me. Stress the positive and tone down the self-effacing stuff.
posted on January 14, 2001 11:32:12 AM new
Former owner info inserted as insider joke. Those familiar with personal history might find it amusing. Again, this was meant to be fun, although I'll accept the practicality offered.
"They" may have some previous familiarity. Although the 1BR reference may be oblique, I'm willing to bet a significant number of ladies would grasp the idea.
Enchanted, unless I'm mistaken, you're tied into another commitment.
Serendipity & Peace...
[ edited by onezippyone on Jan 14, 2001 11:41 AM ]
posted on January 14, 2001 01:35:29 PM new
I'll play!
Secluded country cottage. Close to beaches and mountains.
Older style retreat with multiple usage. Rough-hewn exterior walls have mellowed with age. Overall sound condition with good downpipes, plumbing, central heating, footings and reliable energy supply.
An update of internal hardware and oiling of squeaky hinges will transform this property. The roof will need re-thatching.
Bob, Downunder but never down.
posted on January 14, 2001 04:53:43 PM new
Hi bitsandbobs
I've really enjoyed reading these ads. A friend of mine mentioned to me once that her husband always used to say "there's snow on the rooftop but the fire's burning bright on the hearth inside". I always remembered that and 'tis true.
posted on January 14, 2001 11:39:23 PM new
Also zippy if you are male, you MAY want to delete the snug warmth within part...JMHO
Keith
I assume full responsibility for my actions, except
the ones that are someone else's fault.
posted on January 15, 2001 12:27:43 AM new
Look, guys, let's assume this hypothetical ad would be listed under Men Seeking Women, OK?
Serendipity & Peace...
posted on January 15, 2001 08:35:48 AM new
(Assuming you have the funds to buy the whole facking column, heheh...)
Itinerant location, sometimes a castle in the air, other times a green door in the side of the hill, at its worst a serpentine pit complete with pendulum. In search of a tenant with imagination, for in lieu of rent, she will help to tether the foundation to reality whilst retaining it's aethereal charm.
She is both an architect and an artist, this yearned for tenant, one who has lived enough life to savor its worth, but not so much that her eyes have begun to only gaze backward.
There is a room in the house that's been set aside for her for years. It hasn't much furniture, but it is carpeted with belief and papered with hope, and there is also the subtle aroma of Serendipity in its air.
In return for tenancy, the landlord promises to give freely what he has of joy and magical carpet rides in the clouds. And to cherish the tenant with the the whole of a heart that has held before and lost, to hold her close but not so tightly that she can't breathe.
Butterflies and ballerinas are free to apply, but the landlord believes the tenant might be made of sterner stuff. He'll know her at once, for he's traced her outline in the she-shaped hole in his heart.
