posted on May 18, 2001 11:20:21 AM new
Here's some funny stuff for us PMS sufferers.
TOP 14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:
~ Pass My Shotgun
~ Psychotic Mood Shift
~ Perpetual Munching Spree
~ Puffy Mid-Section
~ People Make Me Sick
~ Provide Me with Sweets
~ Pardon My Sobbing
~ Pimples May Surface
~ Pass My Sweatpants
~ Pissy Mood Syndrome
~ Plainly Men Suck
~ Pack My Stuff
~ Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house
knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know the bulb is BURNED
OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before the figured it out.
And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs
despite the fact that they've been in the SAME
CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually
find them, 2 DAYS LATER the chair they dragged to stand on to change the
STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD
BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO ONE
EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM
THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE
HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@!...
I'm sorry...what did you ask me?
posted on May 20, 2001 04:55:13 PM new
That was great! Glad I'm not the only one. In fact, during that week my e-bay litany goes something like this--"It doesn't matter if I list anything because it's not going to sell anyway and if it does the guy will never pay for it and besides the post office guys will be mad because it's such a huge package and how will I ever wrap it up in the first place because that bubble wrap's too expensive anyway and I can't afford it because that junk I bought at last week's auction never sold and there probably won't be any checks in the mail today so I couldn't buy it if I wanted to and besides that guy at the party the other day laughed when I told him what I did to make extra money and he's a jerk and everybody's a jerk and it's all because I'm too fat anyway and my face looks like I've got the measles so it's a good thing I'm home in front of this computer and not out in public and.....
