posted on May 19, 2001 05:13:44 PM new
sorry, I usually don't edit or delete, but making an exception here.
[ edited by julesy on May 20, 2001 08:40 PM ]
posted on May 19, 2001 05:43:00 PM new
It has always struck me as a useful and insightful idea that unfortunately like so many
other medical ideas is taken and run with way outside the boundaries of it's proper
application.
For example I think chiropractic has value - but when you start talking about using it to treat mental illness and cancer you have gone beyond the limits of it's use.
Since therapy is based on such an incomplete model and understanding of how we think and organize our thoughts, and not literal organ functions I hate to see anyone get fixated on what is one limited way of describing those hidden functions. I think your therapist's personal empathy and desire to help you are probably more important than a literal understanding on his part of how your mind actually words. So perhaps it is worth listening to what he is trying to explain to you as a metaphor instead of taking it literally and you can benefit from it if you have a good relationship without having to take it too literal. Perhaps you could even ask him if he has a different model to express the same ideas if this way really distracts you from what you want to exaimine.
posted on May 19, 2001 05:47:15 PM new
Hi Julesy One of the psychologist I worked for years ago was very into the inner parent/ inner adult/ inner child kind of thinking. He believed that they are each a different part of our personality and that we're always in one of the three modes. If I remember correctly, his idea was that we allow the part that we're most comfortable with to control the major portion of our lives and that the other two personas only surface as needed. He also said that some people may even keep one part of themselves "unspoken."
When I had the hypnosis recently to quit smoking the hypnotherapist asked me if I had quit. When I told her that I had gone from two packs a day to less than a pack a month she told me that she thought we needed to work on my inner child.... Personally, I thought she was nuts, so I said thanks but no thanks. My point being there are probably times that it's useful to delve into your inner child feelings... but sometimes it's just a therapist wanting to experiment.
posted on May 19, 2001 06:03:15 PM new
Hi Julesy - I am familiar with the model and had a similar reaction when I was in therapy.
8 years or so after the fact though it is as very easy thing to see in yourself and other people.
How many times have you / someone you know become belligerent or otherwise unreasonable about something you want... an adult tantrum for lack of a better word. We all do it. If you can connect with that idea - then you can consider this your inner child acting out and there's a line you can draw.
Next question, "why" are you acting out, as in what do you need that you are not getting.
Bottom line, the idea is to discover your needs and then begin to meet them for yourself.... like if I tell my family, "you're on your own, I'm going to Yoga..." It is that simple, not hogwash.
Good luck. VeryModern Space Junk
posted on May 19, 2001 06:06:58 PM new
Hey Jules...
Caught me on my way to bed. Since I have no doubt you know exactly what I'd say about this, I'll spare you...
You're already about as self-actualized as anyone could hope for in their wildest dreams. Go out and boogie, willya?! I'm sure your therapist can spare you a few bucks for that...right?
I have no experience with and little understanding of the inner child therapy, but I've thought about you several times lately and wondered whether or not you had taken the job that you were interested in and if so how it was going.
posted on May 19, 2001 06:34:11 PM new
I get a feeling that if I were to start talking to someone about "little Spaz," they would think I was being lewd.
That aside, I'm glad to hear you are having a positive therapy experience, Julesy. Good for you.
posted on May 19, 2001 07:01:03 PM newJules -- why do I think I've spent an hour a week with the same fella you're speakin' to? Seriously -- during dark-times a number of years back, I saw a therapist in town who was also very much into the inner child thing. We parted ways 'cause I just couldn't bring myself to take him seriously after the doll-incident. Don't ask. Really.
Have you connected with any of the several really, really good groups for recently divorced women? I may have a few names lyin' around here if you're interested...
Oh -- and my take on the inner child is that its more often an excuse for behaviour than anything else. Prolly just means my inner child's feeling guilty or something.
posted on May 19, 2001 09:31:39 PM new
Glad to hear that the job's going so well, Julesy. Enjoying your job is invaluable in my opinion and should be one of life's top priorities.
posted on May 20, 2001 04:33:07 AM new
Julesy - FWIW, when you share, "My doc suggests, at the end of every session, that I try to do something extra that week for little Julia..."
I get the impression that maybe he/she's trying to suggest that you 'allow' the child in you to come out and play. Or maybe pamper yourself instead of taking care of others and their needs 24/7. Maybe (?) suggesting that you take a little time just for doing something you enjoy...not all the shoulds/have to/need to do's of adult life. Do something fun, cut loose, put aside the pressures, worries and responsibilities and enjoy yourself like a child does.
OTOH, if some of your struggles come from a place where, as a child, your needs (getting the love, care, praise, etc. - that parents give to a child) weren't met, then maybe he/she's trying to suggest you take time each week to give those same things to yourself.
That'll be $0.00 please. You know you usually get what you pay for.
Seriously though, if you have felt/believe that your therapy has helped you, I'd personally trust this doctor and investigate this a little further. Wouldn't hurt anything (well, maybe the pocketbook). Then go with your gut feeling in deciding if it's making a difference in your life.
posted on May 20, 2001 11:13:50 AM new
Inner child? Hell, I've got a whole party going on in this head! Sometimes it gets noisy, but it's almost always fun.
posted on May 20, 2001 12:52:27 PM new
Share what you learn with us. That way, we don't have to spend funds to hire a doc. Little Hep wants to come out and play too.
