Whatever the subject - sex, money, where to live, what to do, or how much time to spend together - Dr Vandervelde provides compassionate advice on how to communicate and reach a solution. Questions at the end of each chapter help clarify thoughts and encourage discussion and stories from other couples show you're not alone. Retirement for Two will enable you to make the post-work years the best of your lives together.
From Publishers Weekly
A refreshingly non-financial book about the
pitfalls of retirement, this volume points out
that retirement is a major life change: a
withdrawal from the workforce, an
acknowledgment of old age, a last chance to do
what one wants in life. Couples chained
together by exigency—raising children,
maintaining a household, pursuing
careers—suddenly confront an unexpected
freedom. According to Vandervelde, a
psychologist and author of several books
(including The Changing Life of the Corporate
Wife), some predictable quandaries often
ensue. Spouses who aren't used to leisure or
to the sudden absence of minions to bully may
find themselves at a loss for structure or for
friends. Money disputes about whether to spend
it all or save for rainy days, and about whom
should get inheritances and bequests and when,
may erupt. And other disagreements—about
where to live, how often to have sex, how much
time to spend together and how to handle
medical problems—can upset the balance
between partners. Vandervelde evenhandedly
addresses the concerns of gay couples as well
as couples on their second or third marriage
with mixed families. She is realistic about
the ability of couples to manage and survive
such upheavals, duly recording not just
successes and failures, but also the
imperfect, but workable, compromises in
between. Perhaps this book's primary
strength, however, lies in the author's
ability to anticipate common crises and
encourage couples to address them
intelligently and in unison. After all,
one's retirement years are inevitably
one's last. This sensible volume will help
readers ensure that they are, in fact, golden
years.
From Booklist
Although Vandervelde does mention
practicalities such as choosing a place to
retire and developing a financial plan, it's
her attention to the emotional impact of
retirement that sets this book apart from many
others on the subject. The challenges of life
with a partner 24/7 become abundantly clear,
whether Vandervelde is discussing how to
negotiate the health care system, revaluate
relationships with grown children, reassess
needs for intimacy and sex, adjust to physical
changes that come with aging, or agree on time
spent apart. Real-life scenarios, some from
her experience as a therapist, and information
drawn from a wide variety of supporting
sources (all carefully cited in chapter notes
at the back) enhance the discussion, and
questions following each chapter allow readers
to rethink Vandervelde's ideas in terms of
their own situations. Vandervelde never
pretends to have all the answers; identifying
psychological signposts is her contribution
here. Stephanie Zvirin